Good Day, God!
I saw this photo in yesterday’s newspaper. And I longed to see the photo “lit up” on the web. It’s a thermal image — so Vivid and so Hot! I love it. We saw something very much like it years ago. Bright lava flowing down the mountainside at night.
That sight was absolutely gorgeous. But, it made me afraid . . . I was going to say “skittish” but I was afraid! We stood there in the dark — feeling as well as seeing — the flow of lava. And I thought of the Hawaiian tales of the NightMarchers. Yikes! So we walked back to our car and left.
I suppose I am still like that when it comes to seeing really HOT things. I don’t want to be around hot lava or hot feelings. I always thought my family made me comfortable with anger. But, currently I view anger . . . like lava . . . as a failure of containment. I don’t know about volcanos, God, but I do know that I would rather be angry than sad.
So, my sorrows and pains don’t get dealt with. Worse yet, I repress my fears and sorrows. Thus I periodically overflow in anger. This is not just stupid — it is a Failure to Assume Personal Responsibility.
I really want to take care of myself. But I feel as if I was absent when “they” taught Emotional Hygiene. Sigh. Does anyone teach that? You say it is mentioned in the Bible? You call it speaking the Truth in Love. Hmm. I just never thought about speaking the truth in love to myself! That sounds so obvious.
But, I had best send this blog to my spiritual director lest I “forget” before Wednesday!