To SEE, and maybe to SEE my selves?

Posted on May 8, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

one of my beginning watercolors

Good Evening, God!

I stumbled upon this photo of a watercolor I did last month — and I really liked it! That was surprising because when I painted it I was not happy with it.

Ah, but in the ensuing month I had forgotten what I had wanted it to be. So, I saw it simply as it is.

This strikes me as an important Life Lesson, God. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could simply see things as they are — not through the filter of how I want them to be?

We see what we expect to see — and our expectations are shaped by our families, our schools and our communities. And Expectations are just ONE of many filters that keep me from seeing clearly

I was going to launch into how there is SO MUCH to see! How we only take in consciously a small percentage of the incoming physical data — and that was ignoring how I am constantly checking my iPhone for more information.

Ah, but God, I hear You telling me that shifting to external data is to continue Seeing as an Extrovert –looking Outside myself. What is FAR harder to SEE are the layers and components that make up Me.

And the Biggest Filter to doing THAT is that I really WANT to be an honorable and good person! And that strong desire blinds me to the vast “Unwanted Parts” of me — the less honorable parts of me. In the last few weeks I have had two occasions where a “dishonorable” part of myself finally came to the surface. In both cases I finally “confessed” that thought/feeling to trusted friends.

What surprised me was that — after I had accepted and revealed these unwanted parts –They sort of faded away, I could see that In both cases those rejected parts were just trying to take care of me.

Well, yes, God, I am not yet doing a very good job of taking care of myself. Accepting Myself as I AM — and hopefully seeing underlying Good Intentions — that is a Major Part of Caring and Loving myself.