Good Evening, God,
It’s been a long time between my posts . . . time is in a bit of a tangle right now. Or maybe I’m the one who is in a tangle?
Actually, I’m sure I’m just more aware of Being a Tangle. My 98-1/2-year-old mommy is in hospice . . . into her second month. She stabilizes and then drops down a bit and stabilizes again.
She has a lot of grit, God.
Meanwhile, back in Ordinary Time, I just discovered I have seven overdue library books — all unread. Most were due the day our daughter Sandy returned to Tucson after an 11-day visit.
On the Upside: Today I unloaded and put away the last of the bags we had filled with stuff for our townhouse building’s termite fumigation. Also, I have given two of the four classes on Forgiving I am leading in an evening series at Church.
The timing of that class couldn’t have been better for me, God. I have discovered that no matter how good a daughter one imagines oneself to be, one is never “good enough.” I’m not so much bothered by sins of Commission. It’s the infinite array of Omissions that nag at me.
And so I have been trying to be a Good, Forgiving Mother to myself. My mother was excellent at forgiving . . . not just forgiving but loving and appreciating. And You are too, God, amazingly so!
I read the story of the Prodigal Son in last week’s forgiveness class and I saw — for the first time — that the Father had not one word of blame for his returning son. The Father didn’t even correct his older (and begrudging ) son. It was all about the joy of the prodigal’s return. The joy of the re-connection.
Perhaps, God, we ALL are either ungrateful prodigals or judgmental older children. I think I (frequently!) have been both. But we are forgiven! Because of Your Love we are New Every Morning. Thank you God!