A Gray Day with Dash of Courage

Looking at Koko Crater from the Kahala

Good Day, God!

This view of Koko Crater is one of my favorite views on Oahu. And what would it be without the coconut palms! The colors here are not our usual bright blue and green . . . but the gray softens the image . . . and I like that. Come to think of it, I have definitely “softened” the image I have of myself. Hmm. Maybe “enhanced” would be a better word.

For example, today I finally had the courage to even think about transferring and redoing my website. Aiee! I have been terrified even to look at it. Too many options! Too many ways to approach it! Too many ideas swirling in my brain!

Fortunately, our house guest Ann is still here — so I pressed her into service as a Second Brain. I do so appreciate the importance of Second Brains! I guess that the second person must act as the outrigger on the canoe — keeping it from capsizing.

I do know that I would not have even considered starting this Huge Project if I didn’t have her here to help. Now that I have begun and established a beachhead it is actually becoming fun. Too bad my fear kept me from asking for help at the start of her visit!

Dang! I think the  bigger problem is that I PUSH the things I am afraid of DOWN, down below consciousness. That way I can view myself as “brave.” Ha! I am not brave at all. And, I am not sure that I even want to be all THAT brave.

What I do want is to know what I am avoiding! Mostly I am avoiding and burying stuff because I don’t know what to do or what to say. If I could bring the situation up to the surface I could ask others for ideas . . . I could pray about it!

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Posted in courage, fears

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