Sitting (right now) off the beaten path

My Centering Prayer Chair

Good Day, God!

I was sitting in this chair this morning after praying, looking up at the palm branches and feeling thankful. I love palms. I love sitting under the palm branches. And this morning I was enjoying how relaxed I felt.

Doing less feels so comfortable, God, so right! I am now beginning to understand viscerally what Dr. Arch Hart said about how “BUSY builds a WALL around our brain’s Pleasure Center.” Busy leads slowly but surely to Anhedonia — the inability to experience pleasure. Yes, we CAN have too much fun. I marvel that more people aren’t on antidepressants.

BUSY has become the new “High Status” thing to be. Busy is everything our conscious minds love. Busy provides meaning, and a sense that we matter.  Busy keeps us occupied and distracted and maybe even high on adrenaline. Busy is incredibly addictive.

The really good news is that our bodies and brains can heal and repair most of the damage.  Ah, but God, first people have to stop! And stopping is really difficult. I got angry at family and friends who even suggested I might be too busy. I was really resistant!

I certainly didn’t think about retiring when I left in May for a ten day silent retreat at Snowmass. But, when the retreat was over I KNEW I had to retire. Even then, I thought maybe I’d stop working in a year or so. But, I was through by the end of August. Still, I managed to keep myself busy until . . . maybe last month?

Busy for me is like the Bottle to the alcoholic. Always lurking. Always tempting. I am doing pretty well now. But, I’m glad I’m coming nose to nose with this problem. Please keep me humble . . . keep me real!

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Story teller,

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Posted in Balancing and adjustments, busy, busy as an attack strategy, compassion to care for myself, humility

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