Good Morning, God!
I saw these two tall trees as I was walking to see my therapist, yesterday. I was walking because I couldn’t find her new address while driving so I parked at a meter and explored on foot. My therapist had moved TWICE since I saw her. Yes, God, it had been a while.
WHY did I wait so long to go back? I’m not sure. As I was telling a friend — there is nothing so helpful as being HEARD into speaking — speaking from my Heart as well as my Head. Ah, perhaps, my Head was “protecting” me from the sorrows of my Heart?
Anyway, I did speak from my Heart about Patty — about the guilt and grief I had — well STILL have. It was not quite as hard as I imagined, God, but that was because I practiced with You, the day before.
Actually, the part of our conversation that is still reverberating in my heart, is when she asked me How Hard Was It? As I let my heart take me back, I could feel myself tearing up. I couldn’t speak for a minute or two. Then I heard myself say “It was very close to unbearable.”
It felt so good to say that — to have the words and the truth out. Yes, it was just this side of unbearable! But, it was as if I couldn’t let myself feel that grief and guilt fully as I was going through it.
Ah, but now, finally, My Heart has been heard and acknowledged. And I feel LIGHTER. Thank You, God, for the nudge to go for help.