A Love Gift to Kit — and Me Too!

Posted on August 29, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Kit and I after the 5K race to raise money for Japanese tsunami relief

Good Morning, God!

Here we are, God, after running 3.1 miles. Kit, of course is fresh. I could hardly speak after a fast finish. Connie Comiso, the race organizer was standing 20 yards from the finish yelling at me, ‘You can beat 40 minutes! YOU CAN DO IT!” And I did. And clocked 39 minutes, 57 seconds. Smile. First of one in my age group. But, three minutes faster than my time earlier in the month over an easier course.

I really appreciated that encouragement, God. Encouragement is such a good gift. Of course, some encouragement feels a bit like pressure! This morning I had to tell Kit to knock off the F word! (F standing for FAST!) He means well. But, he cares so much about my doing well — and I perceive it as pressure.

My running this race is what we call a “Love Gift.” That means, God, that NO WAY would I get up early to go running up and down hills in Manoa just to take good care of my body. I did it as a love gift to Kit. But, it is a love gift to my body, too. I know that, God. I really do.

And, I do love both my Body AND Kit. But . . . but . . . but, then why haven’t I been willing to train? I could say training is boring. But I have my iPhone full of books and music plus acting as a camera and all the while logging my run.

I used to say I was too busy to train and I was too busy. Being busy helping others sounds noble, God. But, I sadly fear that in my case it covered a reluctance to assume personal responsibility. Yes, that, and a reluctance to buckle down on HARD stuff — like running. Please, God. I need some radical help here.

Tagged with: a helpful word, encouraging others, personal responsibility, running as a love gift
Posted in asking for help for myself, choosing HARD, encourage and comfort, Endurance, exercising, so much to learn, The difficulty of changing, Transitions, words to strengthen

Idilic Evenings and Awesome Hurricanes

Posted on August 28, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A lovely Evening on the Water

Good Morning, God!

I can’t help comparing the idilic evening we had last night with the hurricane, Irene, bearing down on the East Coast.

After getting home from a party, I looked at the news via my iPad. I was struck by the almost total evacuation of Cape May in New Jersey. We’ve stayed in Cape May, God. That makes it all seem so much more real.

About 97% evacuated on the Cape? That’s a lot of people. Old people, too. Older people are harder to move. Harder to persuade, God? Or harder to scare? Maybe it is having been through it all before — several times — that makes older folks say never mind!

I read somewhere (Discover magazine?) that for every degree of increase in the average ocean temperature, the power of the storms generated increases. I forget by what factor, God. I suspect that I don’t want to know. The world is littered with things I don’t want to know. Aurgh!

So, back to Irene. I surely do pray that You are softening that storm! She’s gone down from a category two to a one and now to a Tropical Storm. But, I worry about the winds in Manhattan. Here in Honolulu, Kit and I walked though a building complex on Friday night and were almost blown away. The walkway formed a Wind Tunnel! Not a good design when hurricanes come calling.

This morning, God, Kit and I are off to a 5K Fun Run raising money for Japan tsunami relief. As we run, please help us keep our East Coast friends in our Hearts — actually, make that keep everyone in the Palm of Your Hand!

Tagged with: evacuations, idilic evenings in Honolulu, preparations, tropical storm Irene
Posted in climate changes, connecting, connections, Gusts of Wind, Humility or Needing Help!

Off to the Farmers’ Market and Whatevers

Posted on August 27, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The Very Busy Coconut Man at the Farmers' Market

Good Morning, God!

I’m up early as Kit needed the alarm to wake up. YAWN! He is off to his TNT training run. On his way down the stairs he said, “Tomorrow you’ll be running, too!” He said it so cheerfully.

I just sighed. I am not yet trained well enough to be cheerful about running. But, at least, when I went down the stairs, didn’t hear from any sore muscles. That’s a good sign, God.

Now, I’m sitting here smiling, God. Smiling because I actually feel pretty good about this “training” thing. I guess that is because I feel that I have both the time and the energy (such as it is) for a little jogging in my life.

And pleasing Kit is becoming more important. Our Time Together no longer seems infinite. Priorities seem clearer. Hmmm. Pleasing myself is emerging as a Priority, too.

Now that I am shaking off Being Responsible — not just for Work but for anything that isn’t nailed down — Life is fluffing up. Time is Decompressing. Maybe this morning, God, I will feel I have the time to wait in the line for a coconut? I can do that because I am NOT the person in charge of the 10:00 a.m. Retreat Meeting at the church. I can be late. It won’t matter. Aaaah!

I forget who said it, God, but it is so true: If Satan can’t get at us through our Vices, he will do it through our Virtues. I can trust You, God! Responsibility belongs to You — not me. You may — if I listen — delegate a few small pieces to me. Call so-and-so. Visit X. Write Y a note. But, to hear and respond, first I have to put “my daily agenda” into Your Hands.

Let’s face it God. What I really want is for YOU to do my will. Sigh. Putting myself on the altar to be transformed (Romans 12:1-2) seems beyond my power to do — I can only offer myself — a wiggling, squiggling sacrifice.

Tagged with: changing, letting Time Decompress and Fluff up, offering my squiggly self as a living sacrifice, priorities, Putting down excess Responsibility, trusting God
Posted in a hand up, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, an invitation to abundant life, becoming the change I wish to see, Changing, Farmers' Markets, humility

Paddling into Relaxing

Posted on August 26, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Ducks in Water

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was a lovely S*L*O*W morning. After my Thursday morning walk, I set out for a short jog. Kit joined me on the last part and so I went a full 2 miles. I took this photo of the ducks as we crossed what would have been the Hahaione stream — but is now a concrete drainage canal.

Once home, I sank into the bathtub and soaked and soaked. Next I fell into Margaret Becker’s book, Coming Up For Air. I forget, God, which lovely soul recommended it to me. But, I am very thankful!

Becker (Maggie B) is a musician who lived a life “on Tour.” Then in 1995 she woke up in yet another hotel room — trying to remember when she had last taken a vacation. She decided to take a whole month off. The first half of the book is about that month. It is the sort of book that one gobbles up — while wanting it not to end.

She says that the first four or five days of “doing nothing” were hard. She had forgotten how. I wonder, God, if in today’s world any of us truly remembers. Or if our children — in between lessons and games — have time to drift. I am drifting, God. Rather like these ducks, I think. Relaxed.

For Becker, the month was an early mid-life adjustment. Mine feels like a preparation for my third Third. You will notice, God, that I couldn’t bring myself to say LAST third. I’m smiling ruefully, God.

One of Becker’s goals was to have all her teeth at the end. Myself, I want all my faculties! Aaah, but what ELSE do I want, God? Becker went back every year to her “retreat” and sought out Your Plans vs. her plans. Maybe I need to go back to the Snowmass Retreat Center again next year?

Tagged with: changing, Coming Up For Air, discovering I have choices, entering into a new stage and age, entering into God's Time, Maggie B, Margaret Becker, retiring as rebuilding, taking time for transitions, Who Do I Want to Be
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, Changing, choices, relaxation, Transitions

Am I a Squiggle or a Circle?

Posted on August 25, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A friend's garden palm

Good Morning, God!

Last week as we picked up friends to take to the airport, I was fascinated by this palm in their garden. So stalwart! So decisive! And, I couldn’t help but notice, decidedly rigid! They also had a raggedy fishtail palm. Such diversity!

Then this Monday I heard a speaker talking about personalities as represented by shapes. I looked up the website and its more official name is Psycho-Geometrics System. The speaker, Annabel Chotzen, was delightful. We listened as she described the characteristics of people who were cubes, rectangles, triangles and circles. When she added a category called “Squiggles,” we all burst out laughing. When she polled us, I was one of several who identified with Squiggles.

My palm, in my reading room

There was something delightful in finding a “type” I can identify with. As it turned out, after completing the questionnaire, I found a Circle/Squiggle category and I am happy to fall (or place myself) in that category.

So, God, here we all are — palms and people — different in countless ways. The helpful thing about categorizing is the ability it provides to see our assorted qualities. Each quality can be helpful — or not –depending on the circumstances. As I recall, at the end of the Circle/Squiggle description it suggested that I work on “self discipline.”

Hah! Now that I am almost completely retired, I am thinking of moving toward being MORE of a Squiggle and less of a well-rounded Circle. It takes more effort than I realized to keep up a well rounded exterior. I am going to “take back” that energy and let it squiggle out any way it wants. I’m looking forward to that reshaping, God!

Tagged with: becoming more of a squiggle, letting go of responsibilities, looking forward to reshaping, personalities and shapes, psycho-geometrics, retiring, sitting under my palm
Posted in A God given diversity, a series of molts and upgrades, adjusting, an invitation to abundant life, Changing, clapping our hands in joy, JOY, visible turnings

Why Not Us?

Posted on August 24, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sweden's Uppsala University. Home of the newest Rotary Peace Institute

Good Morning, God!

While I was looking through the latest Rotarian magazine, this photo caught my eye.

It was a photo of Sweden’s Uppsala University which is hosting the newest Rotary Peace Center. I think its official name is the Rotary Center for International Studies in Peace and Conflict Resolution.

Conflict resolution — what a good idea, God — training people in how to resolve conflicts peacefully. All of us, everywhere, could benefit from that.

I was really pleased to learn that Rotary International already has seven Peace Centers around the world — one of them at Duke/University of North Carolina,. But, then I asked myself, “Why not US — why not us here in Hawaii?”

For YEARS, God, I have wanted us to have a Peace Academy at Pearl Harbor. I had thought it would be a great way to observe the 50th anniversary of the December 7, 1941, attack. Then, again, I thought it would be a great way to observe the 60th anniversary. And now 2016 will be the 75th anniversary.

I am just putting this “thought” out there, God. We have Annapolis, West Point and Colorado Springs — why not Pearl Harbor? Why not take something horrible and redeem it? So, God, since You are big on Blessing the Peace Makers, I thought I’d ask You for a little help with this. Or, maybe a lot of help. Please?

Tagged with: Blessed are the Peace Makers, Conflict resolution, Creating a Peace Academy at Pearl Harbor, Rotary Peace Centers
Posted in courage, Peace

Why Can’t I Hear Cat — and Myself?

Posted on August 23, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My Mother's Cat --Willing me to understand

Good Morning, God!

I must say, God, I have never had a Cat speak so INSISTENTLY as my mother’s cat does. It feels as if she is using “telepathy” to communicate. Only I rather think telepathy doesn’t require quite so much “effort.” Alas, I am not receiving her message. I try. I check her food bowl, water dish and her litter box. Still, I don’t understand.

Hmmm. Looking at this photo has brought to my mind my own Unconscious. Yes, God, that feels right. I am pretty sure that I have a Number of Parts of Me that WANT to communicate with the Conscious Me just as badly as Mom’s cat wants to communicate.

I was going to ask You: WHY DON’T THESE INNER PARTS JUST SPEAK UP? But, of course, I know that for reasons known only to You, God, there is a barrier between the Conscious Me and the Creatures Swimming in my Unconscious. Are they REALLY me, too?

Aargh. They ARE! They are Parts I have rejected or denied. And now I am thinking back to Jack Deere, the speaker at the conference I just attended, who shared how he insisted (angrily) the he DID NOT have an Anger Problem! I heard that. Anger runs in my family, too, God. I thought my anger problem had gone away. But, it just got better at hiding.

You are right, God. The rejected parts are waiting for me. I am feeling that YOU want me to love them with Your Love. Love them and absorb what they have to offer me. Even Anger? Yes, even Normal Anger. Normal Anger is Energy and a Protective Force. It, like all the Other Submerged Parts, has qualities to contribute. And, they are waiting. Wanting me to Understand them.

But I feel “nudged” God, to ask a friend to pray for any Excessive Anger that might be hiding deep down inside me!

Tagged with: Creatures swimming in my Unconscious, Excessive Anger, Hearing our Inner Selves, Normal Anger, Prayer, Telepathy, Trying to "Hear"
Posted in Anger, interspecies contact, responding to "nudges", responsibility

A Supernatural Gift of Encouragement

Posted on August 22, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Beginner's Guide to The Gift of Prophecy by Jack Deere

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I bought on Kindle The Beginner’s Guide to the Gift of Prophecy and I’m already over halfway through it. That is totally due to the Life in the Spirit Conference I went to.

I’ve shied away from prophecy in the past. Let’s face it, God, Your Prophets were a pretty grim lot. Who would want the “gift” of prophecy? Who wants to deliver Bad News? That was me, God, until lunch on Saturday.

At lunch I sat with three young women who were seniors in high school and who were attending the Youth Track. They were all excited about prophecy — only they said their leaders called it “A Supernatural Gift of Encouragement.” They explained that the leaders called it that because pretty much everyone didn’t know what “prophecy” was.

How smart of the leaders! And what an attractive name for a gift. Everyone I know — including me — would really appreciate some encouragement. Their experience sounded like a lot of fun. I was wistful.

Ah, but then after lunch we in the “No Longer Youth” Track got to experience it, too. Each of us paired up with someone we didn’t know. Then we were asked to pray for one whole minute — asking You for an image that might “speak” to the other person Whoosh! Right away I got an image of a “heart” that looked like a stone. That stayed for 10 or more seconds. Then in quick succession: a white picket fence, a solid higher fence, then a door appeared in what was now a wall — then the door opened, showing a sunlit garden. And I heard the words, “I make all things new!”

You Do “make all things new” don’t You, God. Thank YOU!

Tagged with: encouragement, Gifts of the Spirit, Hawaiian Islands Ministries, Jack Deere, Life in the Spirit, The Beginner's Guide to the Gift of Prophecy
Posted in Belonging to each other, Choosing to respond, connections, Expand my Heart, gifts and giftings, intentional and invited sacred space, Prophecy: a Supernatural Gift of Encouragement, responding to "nudges", responding to God's Spirit, Risky living with the Holy Spirit, Trusting God, words to strengthen

Two Nourishing Days at “Life in the Spirit”

Posted on August 21, 2011 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Jack Deere, speaker at Life in the Spirit at Koolau

Good Morning, God!

Hawaiian Islands Ministries put on a marvelous two-day seminar, Life in the Spirit, this Friday and Saturday. It had a therapeutic effect on me, God. I feel closer to You and closer to everyone else. And most of it was due to the speaker, Jack Deere.

Jack is a former associate professor of the Old Testament at Dallas Theological Seminary and author. I must say, God, I’m amazed at how You managed to take him from Dallas Seminary’s dogmatic belief that the gifts of the Spirit have ceased to such an effective presenter of how those Gifts are still very much with us.

Jack Deere speaking at Life in the Spirit, 2011

But, what made these two days so very special wasn’t just what Jack said — but how he said it. I’ve heard him speak in the past — great content but his heart seemed a bit stiff. But now — now his Heart is even bigger than his Mind.

What a difference that makes, God! Humility and Transparency bespeak the presence of Your Spirit even more than miracles do.

What I was most affected by, God, were his words on Anger and Forgiveness. He pointed out how in failing to recognize our anger, we fail to deal with it. Anger is toxic and opens the door of our Hearts to multiple attacks.

Acknowledging and confessing our anger will help us take the next step of forgiving the person at whom we have been angry. Then we can come before You, God, and ask You to forgive us AND ask Your Help in forgiving ourselves. But this isn’t just between You and me, God. Jack made the importance of “community” clear. We work at this — over time — with trusted friends. Such good words, God. Such Good Hope!

Tagged with: anger, First Presbyterian Church at Koolau, forgiving, forgiving ourselves, Hawaiian Islands Ministries, healing our anger, hope, humility, Jack Deere, letting the Holy Spirit shine through, transparency, trusted friends
Posted in Anger, Forgiven!, Forgiving, friends, healing, hope, humility, responding to God's Spirit, sacred space

Helpful Research on Will Power

Posted on August 20, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Will Power: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Baumeister and Tierney

Good Morning, God!

A few days ago a friend told me about the article, “Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue?” in the New York Times Sunday Magazine. The article presented research that showed that one can temporarily EXHAUST one’s Decision Making Capacity.

That makes sense to me, God! In fact, I’m feeling like my “decision making cup” is close to empty. Perhaps that is why my piles of papers have not yet been filed or put to their final rest? Hmm.

The article goes on to point out that what we like to think of as Will Power can be thought of as the “muscle” that we use to make decisions. This “mental muscle” consumes energy and is subject to fatigue just like physical muscles. It is also sensitive to our blood sugar level — when it dips we find it harder to make decisions. Sugar gives us a temporary boost. But, a high protein breakfast is a better bet for a more stable supply of glucose to the brain.

The author of the article, John Tierney, was basically writing about Dr. Roy Baumeister’s research. Their joint book, WILLPOWER: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, is coming out September 1st and I am looking forward to reading it. But, the article provided several good ideas. The first is the power of doing something every day. You have pre-decided to do it. The second is to avoid important decisions when hungry. And the third is to creatively structure life so there are fewer decisions to be made.

But, perhaps, God, I’d be best off remember that my Decision Making “Muscle” — like all muscles — gets stronger with exercise. I rather like thinking of “disposing of papers” as building my decision making muscle!