From Dover to Kauai — in 4 days?

Posted on September 3, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

White cliffs of Dover

Good Day, God!

Here we are on Kauai where my amazing husband, Kit, just won his age group in the Kauai half marathon! Let me see — we left London on Monday and we were here on Kauai on Friday.

Usually we go and come home and stay for a while. But this Fall is FULL of travel. Lovely people, lovely places and a lovely slow pace. Perfect!

My Mind is delighted. My Body is undecided. Hmph! No, I would have to say that my Body is unhappy. It is quite clear to me, God, that my Body likes to travel — WHEN she travels — at sun speed. I think that works out to no more than one time zone per day. Or, maybe less. Of course, God, that means mostly by ship or car . . . or maybe just not very far . . . all at once.

Still, in spite of some wear and tear on my Beloved Body I enjoy traveling. I enjoy changes of geology, architecture, vegetation, food, and even bits of different cultures. Ah, but when we travel by ship we pretty much stay within our culture. We pack it up and take it with us. And so we only catch brief glimpses of our differences — like the Swedish guide who was distressed at a worker up on a flat roof without a safety harness and a safety helmet.

Years and years ago I helped a friend put on a series of Christian Muslim dialogs which was very rewarding. I think the World needs more of that, God! More dialog and discussion among a variety of cultures. It isn’t easy. Cultural differences can lead to judgments, disruptions and difficulties. But, staying in our own single strand culture makes us all far more vulnerable.

Like workers on high roofs without safety harnesses? So, God, maybe I need to “travel more cultures” while staying at home?

Posted in connecting

Contains CELERY! and other European discoveries

Posted on August 24, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Hilton Heathrow — our resting point before and after the Garrison Keillor cruise

Good Evening, God!

Aah! My mind — and iPhone — are stuffed with images of our amazing cruise with the Prairie Home Companion company. What talent! What FUN!

It was also a cruise of the Baltic capitals and there are new facts stuffed into my head just waiting to be assimilated or perhaps dropped.

But the fact that caused me the biggest laugh was noticed yesterday at the Hilton Heathrow. My wonderful husband, Kit, asked me to read the ingredients on the label of a tiny jar of ketchup. (He doesn’t like high fructose corn syrup.) I did and at the very bottom it said, “Contains celery.” Celery? They are warning me that this ketchup contains . . . CELERY? I started to giggle.

Yes, I know now.. It is NOT funny for folks with a celery allergy. And, in retrospect I feel a bit guilty for laughing. But, it is just that with ISIS and Ebola and other assorted worries, celery hadn’t made my list.

Other odd facts? We saw the Vasa — a huge 1628 warship designed by the king of Sweden — which had capsized and sunk a few hundred yards into its maiden voyage. It’s been salvaged and preserved and now has its own museum. And the reason it capsized seems to be because it was two feet too narrow. At least a sister ship that was two feet wider sailed for years.

Two feet! Celery! Such Small Things . . . so easy not to notice.

Noticing . . . paying attention . . . seems to have gotten a lot more complex, God. We are limited. Traveling helps me grasp that fact. Suitcases are limited. Energy is limited. My ability to absorb is limited. So, God. I need more than ever to invest time with You. Asking You to direct my attention . . . my focus . . . my decisions. You are willing. Please help me to be willing.

Posted in Uncategorized

A Visit to Helsinki

Posted on August 17, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Finnish art deco trolls seen on a period building

Good Day,God!  

And a long August day it has been here on the Baltic Sea, near the arctic. My wonderful husband Kit and I have just finished a nap after a 3 1/2 hour guided walking tour of Helsinki. There was an exhibit works of Tove Jansson, creator of the Moomins, creatures whose motto seems to be: All of us are a bit strange in our own ways — and that’s just fine! (See Trolls at left.)

That seems to sum up the Finns — and perhaps the Nordic culture. As our guide said about an upscale store, “We don’t go in there. That is just for tourists!” For the Finns, she said, things must be useful, simple, comfortable and maybe even bright enough to cheer a short winter day. And Voila! In the 1950’s came, Marimekko, maker of distinctive fabrics!

Marimekko and Moomins . . . two delightful Finnish gifts to the world.

But what really struck me about Helsinki were the little girls! One two year old walked by — some distance from her mother — with a lollipop in her mouth. I turned to a friend and said, “Such APLOMB!” And our friend said: “The next president of Finland!” And, as I looked at the families out for a Sunday walk in the park, ALL the very young girls seemed totally assured. Perhaps these little girls really will become future leaders and be an even bigger gift to our world!

Ah, God, we need more leaders who care about the simple, useful and workable. More leaders who are not interested in Money and Power and More. More of everything!

Hmmm. Maybe leaders are more our followers than we want to realize.

Posted in connecting, Uncategorized

The Joy of Small Things

Posted on August 8, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A small succulent at our dinner table

Good Evening, God!

Although the title above refers to this wee succulent, it just hit me that a small nap is also a joy! My wonderful husband Kit and I are at the Hilton Heathrow on our way to a Garrison Keillor cruise to the Baltic. And we have spent the first three days napping and enjoying the small — but never ordinary — things of life.

We were going to take the tube into London today — but then tossed it over for another nap. I am happy. My Body is happy. My body is Rested and Happy!

Usually my busy and curious Mind makes the decisions. My Mind is full of Enthusiasms and that makes her hard to overrule.

I like to imagine that I (my Mind) is getting smarter — or maybe even more thoughtful But, I realize it is because my Body did a preemptive strike and came down with a UTI . . . such as to get my attention.

Alas, I am just the beneficiary of a better balance of power.

It is sobering, God, to think that here in my own small self I have to depend on a Balance of Power to get along. It makes me sad that I can’t seem to manage a higher degree of inner mutual respect. But, it does help me understand how it is that we 7 billion humans have a dreadfully difficult time practicing mutual respect! Sigh.

It is like the song . . . Let there be Peace on Earth . . . and let it begin with me! Please, God, help me work on respecting and loving myself . . . and those around me . . . and reaching out . . . asking You to bless us ALL . . . all around this small small world. Thank You!

Tagged with: appreciation, Balance of Power, Caring, compassion, Inner mutual respect, mutual respect
Posted in a matter of scale, accepting my authority to set limits, appreciation, Cherishing our Bodies, Filling up my suitcase and my days

The gift of the right word

Posted on August 3, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A man of Hawaii -- a painting in the Art Deco of Hawaii exhibit at the Honolulu Museum of Art

A man of Hawaii — a painting in the Art Deco Hawaii exhibit at the Honolulu Museum of Art

Good Evening, God!

Recently, I went to the Art Deco Hawaii exhibit with our daughter Suzanne and I found the art troubling. Much of it depicted idealized Hawaiians looking oh so happy at being part of America. But, of course, it wasn’t quite like that. After the overthrow of the Queen in 1893 ruling elite were — as most Westerners were at that time — racist. They were also sexist and class conscious.

Come to think of it, God, those are still problems for us all around the globe — problems of judging and not respecting.

But, I digress. The piece of art that captured me was of a man who seemed to me to be unhappy at best and perhaps even angry. He was depicted as he was — a real person — not an idealized one.

All of which prods me to be real. Under stress, God, I get “irritable.” But, both of our daughters had a different word for what I was doing. Sigh. They said I was bullying.

And, I was — I was bullying my wonderful husband. The second or maybe it was the third time they called me on it I heard them, and I stopped appalled! I realized that I was calling it being irritable — but it really was worse than that. I was using an acceptable word to cover an unacceptable behavior. Sigh. I’m thankful, God, for daughters who speak the truth in love.

As it happens, Bullies are close to the top of my “despise” list. So, I guess, I should have suspected I was harboring a Bullying Spirit down in my Shadow Self. They say: Make a list of what we dislike MOST in others and that is what is waiting deep inside us — waiting for us to acknowledge them — waiting for us to come — with them — to You for healing.

Tagged with: being real, Bullies, judging, our shadow, repenting, respect
Posted in connecting, family visits, Heal Us Now, hearing myself, Helpful Hards, humility, Repentance

Love in the Family — a Pattern for Nations?

Posted on July 30, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My wonderful husband as a very young boy

Good Evening, God!

Ah, the parties are over. Our daughters are back home in L.A. and in Tucson. And we all had a marvelous time.

We were celebrating my wonderful husband Kit’s 80th birthday and we did it up right. Among assorted gifts the one that stood out was the one our daughters gave him. It was a booklet they had made: 80 Ways to Be an Awesome Dad. In it they recalled 80 ways in which he was especially loving.

He is an awesome dad. And a loving husband.

He is also somewhat of an anomaly — having run the Boston Marathon this year at age 79 in 4:45. I think of running as his second “career.”

But, in truth, his real career is being an excellent husband and father . . . and grandfather. And that is as it should be, I think. After all, it is our relationships that last.

And all relationships require a willingness to Press the Reset Button. We bumble along and hurt one another. I surely bumbled a lot as both a mother and a wife. Sigh, I am STILL bumbling.

But, as our daughter Suzanne said recently, “It is wonderful to come from a family that knows how to apologize.” Heartfelt apologies are so important!

I don’t mean to make it sound easy, God! One big turning point came when I told Kit that when I got angry at him it was almost always because I was hurting. And no matter what I said (or yelled), what I truly wanted was for him to give me a hug.

I’m pretty sure, God, that Nations are like people. We have all bumbled and worse. How good it would be if Countries could hit the Reset Button and apologize — making amends as best we can — and truly work at living together in healthy relationships on this planet.

Tagged with: apologizing, families, Fathers, healthy relationships, husbands, Love, reset button
Posted in Anger, Apologies, appreciation, connecting, Families, Forgiving, LOVE

Playing, Working, and Depression?

Posted on July 18, 2014 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Christ of the Andes and the World Cup final game

Christ the Redeemer and the World Cup final game

Good Afternoon, God!

I was blessed with a quote yesterday — gosh, only yesterday — that helped me to see myself.

“the opposite of play is not work—the opposite of play is depression. Our inherent need for variety and challenge can be buried by an overwhelming sense of responsibility.” That thought is from the book Play by Stuart Brown.

Honestly, God, now that I think about it, I have been suffering from an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I went from feeling responsible to my beloved mother to being responsible for anyone near me. Not, of course, for myself — but for others. Oh foolish, foolish me!

After all, God, I am only “in-charge” of myself. And so I am very limited in what I can do for others. Ah, I am once again, accepting 90% of my responsibilities are in Your Lap! Or is that 100%? So, with Your help, God, I will pull back from “care giving” and focus on caring for myself!

Meanwhile, when I think about Play vs Depression I think of the World Cup soccer games. I forget which person it was who said, IT IS ONLY A GAME!” But, that was not the general attitude. I enjoy sports so I can understand the pain of losing . . . which always seem MORE than the joy of winning. But, it is only a game.

Success, winning, achievements — none of them last. In a way, they are not real. Ah, would that we could all focus on things eternal. Kindness, charity, loving deeds, a listening ear, a caring heart — these are things that last. Please, God, help me with my focus!

Tagged with: depression, Play, responsibility, work
Posted in authority over my life, Books, compassion to care for myself, confession, connecting, courage to see myself, responsibility, Rethinking

A Thermal Image of Myself?

Posted on June 30, 2014 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A thermal image of Pu’u O’o on the Big Island from hvo.wr.gov/multimedia

Good Day, God!

I saw this photo in yesterday’s newspaper. And I longed to see the photo “lit up” on the web. It’s a thermal image — so Vivid and so Hot! I love it. We saw something very much like it years ago. Bright lava flowing down the mountainside at night.

That sight was absolutely gorgeous. But, it made me afraid . . . I was going to say “skittish” but I was afraid! We stood there in the dark — feeling as well as seeing — the flow of lava. And I thought of the Hawaiian tales of the NightMarchers. Yikes! So we walked back to our car and left.

I suppose I am still like that when it comes to seeing really HOT things. I don’t want to be around hot lava or hot feelings. I always thought my family made me comfortable with anger. But, currently I view anger . . . like lava . . . as a failure of containment. I don’t know about volcanos, God, but I do know that I would rather be angry than sad.

So, my sorrows and pains don’t get dealt with. Worse yet, I repress my fears and sorrows. Thus I periodically overflow in anger. This is not just stupid — it is a Failure to Assume Personal Responsibility.

I really want to take care of myself. But I feel as if I was absent when “they” taught Emotional Hygiene. Sigh. Does anyone teach that? You say it is mentioned in the Bible? You call it speaking the Truth in Love. Hmm. I just never thought about speaking the truth in love to myself! That sounds so obvious.

But, I had best send this blog to my spiritual director lest I “forget” before Wednesday!

Tagged with: anger, Emotional Hygiene, Fears, grief, pain, personal responsibility, sorrow, speaking the truth in love
Posted in being heard into speaking, compassion to care for myself, connecting, courage to see myself, Growth Opportunities, hearing myself, Helpful Hards, responsibility

FAT and FEAR as protection?

Posted on June 25, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A green gecko appeared yesterday on my wall

Good Morning, God!

I have no idea how long this Green Gecko has been living in my favorite room. But yesterday as I was admiring the koa whale on the wall — I thought, What is that green leaf doing on it?

Well, it wasn’t a leaf but a LIVE gecko!

Then this morning, it came to me that I have a lot of Hidden Creatures living inside of me. Alas, God, many are not as delightful as this gecko.

In fact, it was impressed on me with startling clarity that I have been trying to “protect” myself with Fat and Fears. Huh?

How long it has taken me to get a good look at my behavior! Why now? Why not years ago? Well, it could have been because this morning one of my friends in our weekly women’s Prayer Group at church gave me a mini scolding/exhortation that NOTHING feels as good as RESTRAINT!

Restraint? Feel good? It was a Brand New Thought!

It turned “Restraint” right side up. Before “restraint” was a Block put in front of what I was doing . . . now, it is not a block . . . but a Positive, Powerful and Active Navigational Wheel.

I can feel energy that used to go into negative stuff now flowing into my Command Central Control Hub. Good Heavens, God! I can actually feel that I HAVE a Command Central Control Hub. Who knew???

And out of that amazing REFRAME somehow came the “information” that I have been padding myself with Fat and Fears. Fat yes . . . but FEARS? I guess part of me felt that fearing stuff would “protect” me? How odd . . . how wrong! And, how clever Fears are at Hiding!!! Better than little green geckos!

So, God, THANK YOU for the new understanding. And when I see the gecko — please help me remember what I’ve learned!

Tagged with: confrontation, Fat, Healling, hidden fears, Padding, Protection, Restraint, The Power of Restraint
Posted in connecting, Conversations, courage to see myself, freedom, healing, reframing

A Trusted Voice

Posted on June 16, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a Google Map of Cape Cod

Good Morning, God!

My wonderful husband Kit and I have been married just a few days shy of 55 years — but we still do bicker.

I suppose we sort of enjoy mild disagreements.

However on several holiday trips I occasionally have NOT enjoyed my post of Official Navigator! I do not wish to reconstruct various past traumas. But, I will say that when I said, holding the map, turn right, Kit would sometimes say . . . “I don’t think so” and turn left.

He will minimize this, God. But You know what it was like for me.

I, however, take full responsibility for not finding The Simple Solution years earlier! I blush to confess it, but it was only last year that I learned to turn on the Google Map Gal. She SPEAKS! She gives clear and consistent directions. And, Kit trusts her!

When we fail to follow her instructions, she does not get upset, as I did. She simply recalculates and gives us new directions. She is a paragon! She is a Navigator without equal! She is that most precious of resources — a Trusted and Neutral Voice.

I suppose marriage counselors might play the same role . . . but Kit and I have found that having trusted friends over for breakfast every week plays much the same role. Trusted friends who love both of us — while seeing us as we are. Friends who cope with similar gender gaps and with a variety of differing aptitudes and attitudes.

Let’s face it God . . . humans differ. Kit is a Lark, Bat and Ant. I am (or mostly was) a Night Owl, Moth and Grasshopper. We have both adjusted and we have both learned to accept. Let me rephrase that God: We are still adjusting and accepting — present tense. And we are still laughing!