Our Paris, Our World

Posted on November 15, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Eiffel Tower

Good Night, God!

There is such a Rising Tide of Hate, Dear God, that I fear for our species. I would like to say the hate is from Other People, Other Countries, other Cultures. But, I have seen it here in America.

Actually, God, when Our Dear Paris was attacked I felt it too . . . hatred burning a hole in my heart.

But, that was exactly what the terrorist want. They want to inspire fear . . . and then hate. After all, that is the primary purpose of hate — to create more hate.

What to do? I like to hope, God, that we are all asking ourselves What To Do? Dragnets are going out to pick up suspects. And I hope they do a good job. But, I just watched an interview with a Green Beret who said hate and violence really doesn’t work well. During his second tour in Afghanistan he realized that there were MORE Taliban than when we had started.

He offers practical tips on how to deal with terrorism. It is a video that we all should watch.

As for myself — I see countries with a high percentage of unemployed young men — and I see trouble. Meaningful work that provides a sense of self respect and a feeling of hope for the future is essential! How is it God, that creating this kind of useful meaningful work doesn’t seem to be anyones responsibility?

Is it because there is no monetary profit in it? Let me see — profit? or the continuation of civilization?

Tagged with: hate, hope, meaningful work, our response?, Paris, terrorism
Posted in connecting

On the Road again . . .

Posted on November 4, 2015 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A Sequoia Tree and Me

Good Evening, God!

Ah, a wonderful Road Trip . . . we are just finishing up part 8 of a 10 part trip. Our oldest daughter, Suzanne, after Tisk Tisking about WHAT WERE WE THINKING did agree that it would have been hard to do anything much different. It all started out with planning to go to my Stanford Reunion. Then daughter Sandy pointed out that she was running the Nike Women’s half marathon the weekend before in San Francisco and wouldn’t we come up a few days early and cheer her on.

Of course we wanted to do that. Then we had a few days before the reunion and so I invited ourselves up to see my brother and sister-in-law in Grass Valley. Then back down to Stanford for my reunion. After that I had planned four nights in Sequoia. But my wonderful husband Kit said Hey! Let’s go to Yosemite too! Actually, God, he insisted.

And amazingly enough there was a vacancy at the Wawona Lodge! So, we saw Half Dome and drove up to Glacier Point and lunched at the Ahwahnee. Lovely memories as we had honeymooned in Yosemite.

Then down to Sequoia and magnificent old trees . . . 3,000 years old . . . amazing! I wondered God, if the trees talk to each other. It felt to me as if there was communion — if not communication — there in the rich, full, silence. The silence felt like music that I couldn’t quite make out. I loved it.

Next was Santa Barbara for a visit with Kit’s brother Dick and wife Larie –plus brunch with our niece Judy and her husband Steve. So good to connect! We are too scattered. Then a wonderful two day birthday celebration in L.A. with Suzy and then a flight over to Tucson to see Sandy and grandson Ian . . . Mark is at Rice and Dave is in Portugal.

Each stop filled with joyful memories and hundreds of photos, too. I am ever so grateful, God! Thank You!

Posted in connecting

The Road Home — into Forgiveness and Love

Posted on October 10, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A lake in the Arapaho National Forest seen on the drive back from Aspen to Denver

Good Evening, God

This lovely lake looks so smooth and calm. Ah, but what is going on underneath? What is going on in my Unconscious? I think it was Fr. Rohr who quoted Jung as saying, “The face we turn to our unconscious is the face we turn toward the world.” I really got that, God.

Now that my Gut is feeling forgiven by You, I am not nearly as judgmental of my deeper self . . . or for that matter . . . of others. This Gut thing is really big, God. As I understand it, all that silence and stillness really gave the Cleanup and Repair neurological software (aka our parasympathetic nervous system) a chance to kick in and do some deep emotional healing.

So on Day 4 when I read a quote from Billy Graham saying, “I’m just a simple farm boy. You don’t have to know what it means ‘that Jesus died for your sins’ — I don’t. Just accept that it’s true.” It HIT me. Oh, I don’t have to understand. I just have to accept!

I was filled with a vast joy and went to bed and fell into a deep sleep. The next morning I took this event out and pondered it during the stillness. And My Mother Cat — the part of me that has been very unhappy with me for 34 years for my not keeping our daughter Patty from dying from cancer — hopped up into my lap, purred, and then put a paw on each shoulder and licked my face.

Apparently, God, My Mother Cat had received forgiveness, too. And since she was forgiven she could reach out and forgive me.

Now, God, I can hear You (and others) saying, “But surely you knew you were forgiven years ago?” And, yes, My Mind knew. And, I think My Heart knew, too. But, it seems that My Gut did not know. And I guess My Mother cat lives in My Gut.

Tagged with: a slower pace, centering prayer, forgiveness, healing, Mother Cat, Parasympathetic Nervous System, peace, silent retreat, Snowmass Retreat Center
Posted in connecting

A Doorway into Stillness

Posted on October 1, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Door into Stillness — the entrance into the Retreat House Prayer Room

Good Morning, God!

I just came across a quote from Brene Brown that helped me understand my Silent Retreat a bit better.

“Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing. It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.”

I had been focusing on the Silence. Although we were all Still . . . I hadn’t noticed the stillness.

Ah noticing! There’s a challenge! Noticing what is going on inside of me . . . and outside of me. Such a balance. I wonder, God, if this Noticing is more like a Dance or more like a Musical Score. Hmm. I’d like it to be both!

And now, God, I’m laughing! Here I am talking about choreographing it and creating a musical score — when I am not trained at noticing. I suppose that first one must have a Name or Definition for what one intends to notice?

I had just defined stillness as the absence of motion. Now I can “see” it not just “no motion” but a clearing . I can see it as an Entry Point into both MORE and LESS. Stillness can become the starting point for extending awareness . . .

As an extrovert I have leaned toward noticing externals — noticing the beauty all around me . . . noticing the people, the news, the weather, the multitudinous swirl of information all around me.

So, what a gift to be invited out of that swirl and into silence and stillness . . . invited to make no eye contact even . . . with the folks there with me. It made it easier to go inside myself . . . into memories, concerns, regrets, and worries . . . a lot of stuff.

Then having looked . . . handing them over to You as best I could. All of this to Clear an inner Space and open it to You. Wow!

Tagged with: awareness, clearning, creating a space, definitions, mindfulness, Names, noticing, Stillness
Posted in connecting

Nine Days in Deep Silence

Posted on September 30, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Benedictine monk (Aaron) in the monastery bookstore.

Good Day, God!

I’ve been home over a week now from my nine day Silent Retreat at the Retreat Center at Snowmass, Colorado. When I first got home I was exhausted — which amazed me considering how much I had rested and napped.

But slowly it has come to me that You and my Unconscious were doing a lot of work in all that silence. My conscious mind got an occasional peak into what was happening. But, I am pretty sure it will take months for my Mind to find out what was going on. Or, maybe, God, my Mind isn’t able to conceptualize what You did?

I took many hundreds of photos — beautiful photos of rainbows, snow on the highest peak, green meadows with cows and sunsets. So, how did I pick this photo in which Brother Aaron is only in silhouette? I did it because of the LIGHT surrounding him! I think of these monks as ordinary mortals who have chosen to immerse themselves in the Light of Your Love.

And, yes, all of us ordinary folks are welcomed in . . . welcomed to sit in Your Presence. Now I do know that You are everywhere! I don’t really NEED to go off to a “sacred valley” to sit in Your Presence. However, it is so much easier to sit in silence with 21 others who have come together with the same purpose. I shamelessly drafted on their capabilities! And I came to love them . . . without speaking a word . . . as Your Holy Spirit knit us together.

Thank You, God! It was a Glorious Time!

Tagged with: Benedictine Monastery, Nine Day Silent Retreat, Non verbal communication, quiet, Silence, Snowmass, Stillness, Time Set Apart
Posted in connecting

Yes! We CAN help . . .

Posted on September 5, 2015 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A three year old boy drowned leaving Syria

Dear God!

I cannot look at this dear little boy without tearing up. And I am not alone. I have seen many images, heard many words and read many, many words. But, this ONE image is working in my heart. My wonderful husband, Kit, printed it off and left it on my desk . . . just in case I hadn’t seen it.

Oh Dear God! How is it possible to look and not to weep? To see and then do nothing?

Well, WHAT to do?

A dear friend sent me the link to Rescue.org and I have given . . . not much . . . but pledged monthly. I guess, God, that I wanted to give specifically to a group focused on helping refugees.

Does it help the hundreds of thousands of refugees? No, not much . . . I will ask Kit to give, too. But, it is helping me. It is helping me to feel less powerless . . . less hopeless . . . as I watch the news.

Oh YES! There is one more thing I can do! I read about it in a weekly posting from Father Richard Rohr. He shares information from Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön about Tonglen practice as a way of holding suffering and awakening compassion.

Briefly it is: “. . . breathing in others’ pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness, happens to be at that moment.”

Ah, Dear God, I feel that is the kind of prayer that You desire and that You inhabit! A prayer that turns into a prayer for our own hopeless self and all the others like us.

Come, Dear God, and Help us!

Tagged with: Giving, helping, helping ourselves, Hopelessness, Our World Family, pain, Prayer, Rescue.org, Syrian refugees, Web of Life
Posted in connecting

The importance of Caring for One’s Self

Posted on August 29, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

One plumeria in a cluster

Good Day, God!

Plumerias are beautiful trees filled with clusters of flowers. So it was a bit odd that I was drawn to crop out the many and focus on just one. But, ONE has value. One flower. One person. One prayer.

I am drawn to the Jewish proverb: everyone should have a card in each pocket, the first reading “for you the universe was made,” the second asserting, “you are dust.”

It is the TENSION between those two in which You call us to live.

I also live in the tension of caring for myself and caring for others. That sounds easy. But, I am learning that caring for myself depends on seeing myself as needing care. I want to stay in my childhood “invincibility” mode. Helping others . . . and thinking I can keep on going and going. I can’t.

How foolish and adolescent of me to imagine I am “superwoman”. I need to rest and to recharge. I need to listen to myself and to affirm my own existence . . . lest I grow grumpy and irritable. Self care is so basic and necessary — yet a part of me still sees it as Selfish.

So, God, here I am — one somewhat fragile person — who needs to take much better care of herself. I guess, God, what I really need is a deeper sense of humility . . . a sense of my limits . . . and boundaries

Hmm. Tough Love?

Tagged with: a slower pace, humility, recharging, rest, selfishness or self care
Posted in connecting

Hoping BIG

Posted on August 23, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Kevin Rudd former Prime Minister of Australia

Good Evening, God!

A dear friend sent me a link to a TED talk by the former prime minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd. I found it so inspiring that I copied phrases and promised myself I would do a blog on it. The talk was about US/China relations . . . and now that China’s economy has hit a bit of a bump . . . that topic seems even more important.

But what inspired me was that he was encouraging all of us to hope. HOPE! Imagine that, God!

He urged us (and I took it as ALL of us) to engage in a “Constructive Realism for a Common Purpose”.

Gosh, God, I remember vividly being in college and being introduced to a negative version of GeoPolitics . . .causing me to drop a great deal of idealism and probably hope, too.

After all these years it is so strengthening to hear a leader (or anyone!) speak of working together for a common purpose.

Hearing him say that triggered a deep longing inside me. I long for our Honolulu community to work together to address and lessen the problems faced by the homeless. I long for the world to do a better job of working together on climate traumas and the traumas of violence triggering Waves of Refugees.

Mr. Rudd said that “the Heart must find a way to reimagine possibilities . . . [creating] a dream for all humankind. What a CALL! A call to HOPE and to put feet on that hope. I think, God, that HOPE is one of the key ways that You nourish us. It is a priceless foundation for every good work.

And as Vaclav Havel said, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

Tagged with: common purposes, hope, hoping, working together
Posted in connecting

The Comfortable and the Homeless

Posted on August 12, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A walk around the marina waterfront in Hawaii Kai after an early dinner — in the Golden Hour.

Good Afternoon, God!

I haven’t written for almost one month! Yikes! Not because I haven’t had lots to talk about but because I have had so MUCH to talk about! Every time I sat down to chat with You I would start one topic only to have five more want attention. My mind was a jumble.

A phrase that came to me yesterday: The Words needed to Heal the World are not so much the words that are spoken but the words that are heard. Oh, God, we are not hearing each other! Sigh, we are not even hearing ourselves. In fact, I feel that those of us in our Western World have become numb to our feelings — especially the feelings at our extremities.

Hmm. Isn’t that a definition of leprosy? Peripheral nerves that are not able to feel our nose and toes — and fingers, even? And if we cannot feel them — then we cannot protect or care for them.

Honolulu is dealing — or not dealing — with a growing number of homeless folks. These are people at the extremities of our affluent society. They are homeless for a variety of reasons. Some are just recently homeless . . . some are long term homeless. Some are working. Some have families. Yet, how tempting to lump them all together as “The Homeless.” And after they have been lumped and labeled then they don’t need to be named . . . or helped . . . or cared for.

Indeed, once folks are labeled it becomes easier and easier to dismiss them — easier to believe they are homeless due to drugs or mental illness or character flaws. And once we have decided it is “Their Fault” then we can “wash our hands” and go back to not feeling and not seeing.

Today, God, I promised to write my city councilman and mayor. Please help me do that! Thank You! I did!

Tagged with: blindness, cultural leprosy, deafness, extremities, feeling, healing, hearing with our hearts, helping, homelessness, Numbness
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, acknowledging another's existence, being heard into speaking, Belonging to each other, Compassion, connecting, Help me to see, hope

The Beauty of Food and Family

Posted on July 20, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Long eggplant growing in a neighbor’s garden

Good Day, God!

THANK YOU! Our daughters are here with us! Here to celebrate my wonderful husband Kit’s 81st birthday! That alone is reason enough to rejoice. How truly marvelous it is, God, to have beloved daughters who are, in addition, such enjoyable friends!

And it is a double joy to hear them laughing and talking with each other!

Of course, we — like this eggplant — are all still growing. And that, too, is amazing. No one told me when I was young . . . never even hinted . . . that we are never done growing and learning.

Just recently I found a quote from Norman Lear: “I can’t believe some of the insights I’ve had in my 90s.” Now that is an encouraging word!

Still, I wonder how it is that we feel at age 21 we are grown up? Heck, I remember being appalled when at 17 I needed my parents permission for a vaccination. I was quite certain I was already “a grownup.” Ah, my.

It does seem we need someone to say definitively that a life well lived consists of multiple molts. It would be quite sad to remain “done” at any one point. There is so much to learn! And there are so many aspects of ourselves that have yet to be “turned on” or integrated into our Being.

Sometimes I think that my life is like a spiral — learning some things over and over — but each time absorbing a bit more. More Love. More Openness. More Awe! More Thankfulness!

OH! I just took a Nine Minute Nap — relaxing my body and my busy mind — and I remembered! Often before we can learn we must UNLEARN! I am unlearning FAST and embracing SLOW. Unlearning MORE and boy is THAT hard! Ah well. I will keep at it with Your Help!