The importance of Caring for One’s Self

Posted on August 29, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

One plumeria in a cluster

Good Day, God!

Plumerias are beautiful trees filled with clusters of flowers. So it was a bit odd that I was drawn to crop out the many and focus on just one. But, ONE has value. One flower. One person. One prayer.

I am drawn to the Jewish proverb: everyone should have a card in each pocket, the first reading “for you the universe was made,” the second asserting, “you are dust.”

It is the TENSION between those two in which You call us to live.

I also live in the tension of caring for myself and caring for others. That sounds easy. But, I am learning that caring for myself depends on seeing myself as needing care. I want to stay in my childhood “invincibility” mode. Helping others . . . and thinking I can keep on going and going. I can’t.

How foolish and adolescent of me to imagine I am “superwoman”. I need to rest and to recharge. I need to listen to myself and to affirm my own existence . . . lest I grow grumpy and irritable. Self care is so basic and necessary — yet a part of me still sees it as Selfish.

So, God, here I am — one somewhat fragile person — who needs to take much better care of herself. I guess, God, what I really need is a deeper sense of humility . . . a sense of my limits . . . and boundaries

Hmm. Tough Love?

Tagged with: a slower pace, humility, recharging, rest, selfishness or self care
Posted in connecting

Hoping BIG

Posted on August 23, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Kevin Rudd former Prime Minister of Australia

Good Evening, God!

A dear friend sent me a link to a TED talk by the former prime minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd. I found it so inspiring that I copied phrases and promised myself I would do a blog on it. The talk was about US/China relations . . . and now that China’s economy has hit a bit of a bump . . . that topic seems even more important.

But what inspired me was that he was encouraging all of us to hope. HOPE! Imagine that, God!

He urged us (and I took it as ALL of us) to engage in a “Constructive Realism for a Common Purpose”.

Gosh, God, I remember vividly being in college and being introduced to a negative version of GeoPolitics . . .causing me to drop a great deal of idealism and probably hope, too.

After all these years it is so strengthening to hear a leader (or anyone!) speak of working together for a common purpose.

Hearing him say that triggered a deep longing inside me. I long for our Honolulu community to work together to address and lessen the problems faced by the homeless. I long for the world to do a better job of working together on climate traumas and the traumas of violence triggering Waves of Refugees.

Mr. Rudd said that “the Heart must find a way to reimagine possibilities . . . [creating] a dream for all humankind. What a CALL! A call to HOPE and to put feet on that hope. I think, God, that HOPE is one of the key ways that You nourish us. It is a priceless foundation for every good work.

And as Vaclav Havel said, “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

Tagged with: common purposes, hope, hoping, working together
Posted in connecting

The Comfortable and the Homeless

Posted on August 12, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A walk around the marina waterfront in Hawaii Kai after an early dinner — in the Golden Hour.

Good Afternoon, God!

I haven’t written for almost one month! Yikes! Not because I haven’t had lots to talk about but because I have had so MUCH to talk about! Every time I sat down to chat with You I would start one topic only to have five more want attention. My mind was a jumble.

A phrase that came to me yesterday: The Words needed to Heal the World are not so much the words that are spoken but the words that are heard. Oh, God, we are not hearing each other! Sigh, we are not even hearing ourselves. In fact, I feel that those of us in our Western World have become numb to our feelings — especially the feelings at our extremities.

Hmm. Isn’t that a definition of leprosy? Peripheral nerves that are not able to feel our nose and toes — and fingers, even? And if we cannot feel them — then we cannot protect or care for them.

Honolulu is dealing — or not dealing — with a growing number of homeless folks. These are people at the extremities of our affluent society. They are homeless for a variety of reasons. Some are just recently homeless . . . some are long term homeless. Some are working. Some have families. Yet, how tempting to lump them all together as “The Homeless.” And after they have been lumped and labeled then they don’t need to be named . . . or helped . . . or cared for.

Indeed, once folks are labeled it becomes easier and easier to dismiss them — easier to believe they are homeless due to drugs or mental illness or character flaws. And once we have decided it is “Their Fault” then we can “wash our hands” and go back to not feeling and not seeing.

Today, God, I promised to write my city councilman and mayor. Please help me do that! Thank You! I did!

Tagged with: blindness, cultural leprosy, deafness, extremities, feeling, healing, hearing with our hearts, helping, homelessness, Numbness
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, acknowledging another's existence, being heard into speaking, Belonging to each other, Compassion, connecting, Help me to see, hope

The Beauty of Food and Family

Posted on July 20, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Long eggplant growing in a neighbor’s garden

Good Day, God!

THANK YOU! Our daughters are here with us! Here to celebrate my wonderful husband Kit’s 81st birthday! That alone is reason enough to rejoice. How truly marvelous it is, God, to have beloved daughters who are, in addition, such enjoyable friends!

And it is a double joy to hear them laughing and talking with each other!

Of course, we — like this eggplant — are all still growing. And that, too, is amazing. No one told me when I was young . . . never even hinted . . . that we are never done growing and learning.

Just recently I found a quote from Norman Lear: “I can’t believe some of the insights I’ve had in my 90s.” Now that is an encouraging word!

Still, I wonder how it is that we feel at age 21 we are grown up? Heck, I remember being appalled when at 17 I needed my parents permission for a vaccination. I was quite certain I was already “a grownup.” Ah, my.

It does seem we need someone to say definitively that a life well lived consists of multiple molts. It would be quite sad to remain “done” at any one point. There is so much to learn! And there are so many aspects of ourselves that have yet to be “turned on” or integrated into our Being.

Sometimes I think that my life is like a spiral — learning some things over and over — but each time absorbing a bit more. More Love. More Openness. More Awe! More Thankfulness!

OH! I just took a Nine Minute Nap — relaxing my body and my busy mind — and I remembered! Often before we can learn we must UNLEARN! I am unlearning FAST and embracing SLOW. Unlearning MORE and boy is THAT hard! Ah well. I will keep at it with Your Help!

Tagged with: birthdays, Daughters, Embracing LESS, family time, growing, insights, Learning, molts, Slow, spiral living, unlearning
Posted in connecting

Set FREE from Learned Helplessness

Posted on July 8, 2015 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

An Allamanda ca blossom

Good Day, God!

How wonderful it is that You want us to talk with You! I never fail to forget that I cannot earn your love . . . that Your love already embraces me. And not just me — but all of us.

No doubt that statement would be or IS judged theologically incorrect. But, I agree with the Right Rev. Desmond Tutu — that You seem to have remarkably low standards. Look at the folks Jesus hung out with . . . a terrible bunch of sinners. Ah my. I am one, too. As Saint Paul pointed out — ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God!

But, on to one of the things I wanted to thank You for!

A few weeks ago I was given an example of what Martin Seligman calls Learned Helplessness. After a day or two after this awareness, it came to me that I, TOO, was suffering from Learned Helplessness. (Most likely all of us humans suffer from it in one form or another.)

Once this realization — that I, too, suffered from Learned Helplessness — permeated my heart, I felt as if I had been set free! And I was free! All sorts of things that had been “pending” in my life began to get done. Or should I say that I began to do them. It was an amazing week, in which things got bought, a handiman was found, and things got done.

So, God, I’m wondering about this phenomenon. A friend said . . . sounds like you were just suffering from procrastination. I said well, I called it procrastination for years and nothing happened — but when I called it learned helplessness — a lot began to happen.

I’m feeling that there remains more to learn about this — a lot more to discover about culturally imposed limits and unconscious restraints! But, right now, I just want to say: Thank You!

Tagged with: being healed, being loved, doing things, freedom, gratitude, Learned Helplessness, unblocked
Posted in connecting, freedom, gratitude, growing toward up, hope, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, LOVE, Options, thankfulness, Thanksgiving!

Listening and Walking

Posted on July 4, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Hau Tree arbored walkway near San Souci Beach

A Hau Tree arbored walkway near Sans Souci Beach

Good Afternoon God.

Friday was my first day swimming in quite a while. The water was warm . . . the day was hot. But walking in the shade of the walkway made me forget the heat.

As I look at it, I think of the Pathway of Life. And I feel so fortunate and so thankful. Yes, God, I do remember the Bible verse from my childhood in Episcopal churches. Those to whom much has been given, from them much is required. (Luke 12:4)

I’ve always thought of it as reminding me that privilege or well-being brings responsibilities . . . and the more one has in talent or talents of gold . . . the more obligations one has.

Giving money to the Church and Charities is one obligation. Clearly there are others — but, I’ve never been helped to find them.

Hmm. That seems, odd, God! Surely at some point people ought to be helped to discover and employ their gifts!

I’m sitting here thinking about what talents I have and how they might be used. I got a “listening gene” from my mom and I do really enjoy listening to people. If I do it with love . . . without judgment . . . then I guess that would be using it as I should.

I know of churches that give “Spiritual Gifts” diagnostic tests and then use them to help folks find ways to use those gifts. Actually, my church has just hired a new minister who is skilled at doing just that! So, God, maybe I will become more aware — and better able to give back to my fellow humans. That would be excellent.

Tagged with: listening, money, obligations, responsibilities, Sans Souci Beach, talents
Posted in connecting

Venus and Jupiter — Together in Our Sky

Posted on July 1, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God!

Last night my wonderful husband Kit and I went to The Shack on Koko Marina to have dinner and watch the moon rise. We normally do this the night BEFORE the Full Moon.We would have to stay up too late if we came for the Full Moon.

Sitting outside — enjoying the day changing from Day to Night — is restorative. Toss in a 98% full moon and what could be better? Aah, what WAS better was seeing Venus and Jupiter so close together in our evening sky! I checked and Jupiter had risen one minute before Venus. WOW!

Kit had heard on the news about this planetary proximity — but for me it was an unexpected delight. We just happened to look up as we were leaving the restaurant — and saw it!

Unexpected delights do seem to require that we LOOK . . . that we Observe . . . that we are Open to our surroundings. I guess that can be called Mindfulness or being in The Present.

And, as I am growing to “expect,” God, this morning my Spiritual Director June handed me an internet posting from Father Keating entitled “Notes From A Deep Conversation.” Fr. Keating is talking about Centering Prayer when he says at the beginning: “Without thinking or feeling some emotion there is just awareness. Then he goes on to say, “Somehow at the bottom of emptiness (openness, pure awareness) there is enjoyment, fullness, presence and peace.” He ends by saying, “The present moment contains all we need to be happy.”

I’m smiling, God. I suspect this is true because — as we learn to clear away the pains of the past and the fears of the future — we make ROOM for YOU, right HERE in the moment.

Tagged with: appreciation, awareness, AWE, centering prayer, Connecting, Father Keating, Jupiter, openness, Venus
Posted in connecting

FOOD Inc. — Can we live on this?

Posted on June 22, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

FOOD, Inc. A DVD about CHANGE that needs to happen.

Good Evening, God!

Never again . . . that’s how I feel now, God, after watching the DVD FOOD, Inc. Never again do I want to eat meat in restaurants or anywhere else. We had already switched to mostly grass fed meat for me and wild fish for Kit. But after seeing this DVD I plan on eating a lot less protein and making sure it is GRASS FED or WILD FISH.

Most of the facts weren’t new to me. BUT I had them located in assorted compartments in my mind. Seeing this DVD brought them all together AT ONE TIME and the impact is appalling!

Grains are government supported and thus sold to the food companies below what it costs to produce them. Because of this we can buy processed food for much less than real food. Of course, another reason is that REAL food will spoil. The microbes love it. But processed food will almost never be eaten by microbes. And that includes our own internal microbial helpers who often have to deal with non-food.

What I didn’t know is that we can be sued for telling the truth about food products . . . some sort of Veggie Law. . . gosh, God, they sued Oprah for talking about the feed lot beef. Yikes! Oprah won. Most folks can’t afford to fight.

Kit and I are fortunate, God. We have the ability to make healthy choices. But what about all the low paid workers who can’t afford healthy choices? What about the folks who haven’t seen this DVD? What about folks who depend on others for their meals?

Still, I sure do wish everyone would watch FOOD, Inc. Each food purchase is a VOTE!

Tagged with: choices, health, hidden costs, Mother Nature, super e coli
Posted in connecting

Choosing LIFE

Posted on June 22, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Shower tree at Kokua Market

Good Morning, God!

I love the words Moses spoke to the children of Israel — I set before you this day Life and Death. Choose Life. For years I had seen this as an either/or question. A no brainer, really! But now I am seeing that really Living is all about choosing. Living is a constant flow of making choices. Choosing Life in very small things . . . not just large ones.

A More Beautiful Question

I’m thinking these thoughts, God, because of the book A More Beautiful Question by Waren Berger. He has pointed out that children are overflowing with questions . . . up until they go to school. In school we learn that our job is to learn Answers. As I listened I thought — wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could harness the deep question asking power of young children!

It isn’t that my wonderful Kit and I don’t bicker over small factual questions — only now Kit just says “GOOGLE it!” And then we know. But those are not the DEEP “Whys” of childhood.

This is sad. And I bet You feel that too — as You are the one who designed us to ask questions! Big Questions. Not just the ones we can find answers for on Google.

I guess, God, what I am calling the Big Questions are the ones that lead to Vision. A vision of what Life can be. A vision of what we are Called to be. A vision of what we humans could become — if we were better able to enter into Your Kingdom of Love and Respect.

Proverbs 29:18 says: Without Vision the People Perish. And my heart is singing — Be Thou My Vision . . .

Tagged with: Asking, choosing, life, Questions, Vision
Posted in Books, choices, Choosing Meaning, Choosing to respond, connecting, respect

Organic Patterns and the Joy of Creating

Posted on June 13, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Leaves, Branches and Light

Good Evening, God!

I really like random patterns — like this photo of branches and leaves. In Glass Fusion class, everyone else was making beautiful creations that usually involved straight lines. While I — who had temporarily mislaid my ability to cut straight lines — was randomly arranging my odd shaped pieces.

Well, since I was “arranging,” I wasn’t really doing random. But, I couldn’t help but notice my pieces were much closer to random than everyone else’s.

Small green bowl with slightly arranged elements

I suppose this preference might be related to my being mostly right-brained. Or maybe I just couldn’t come up with a design?

But I noticed the same thing in my metal working classes. While other students made precise pieces — quite lovely — I hunted through the scrap box. It was such a joy to find a rejected piece of copper and think, Aha! I see a FISH — a fish that lives

my deep DEEP sea fish

very deep down in the ocean. Of course, it was too flimsy to wear. But, just a few weeks ago I soldered it on to a brass piece and I am strangely fond of it.

Creating things . . . even when it is more “stuff” than art . . . makes me aware of how much JOY You must get in all that You create. It is an activity that takes us out of Time and into Flow.

If I can take delight in my odd fish, it makes it easier for me to “get” that You, God, take delight in us!