The Road Home — into Forgiveness and Love

A lake in the Arapaho National Forest seen on the drive back from Aspen to Denver

A lake in the Arapaho National Forest seen on the drive back from Aspen to Denver

Good Evening, God

This lovely lake looks so smooth and calm. Ah, but what is going on underneath? What is going on in my Unconscious? I think it was Fr. Rohr who quoted Jung as saying, “The face we turn to our unconscious is the face we turn toward the world.” I really got that, God.

Now that my Gut is feeling forgiven by You, I am not nearly as judgmental of my deeper self . . . or for that matter . . .  of others. This Gut thing is really big, God. As I understand it, all that silence and stillness really gave the Cleanup and Repair neurological software (aka our parasympathetic nervous system) a chance to kick in and do some deep emotional healing.

So on Day 4 when I read a quote from Billy Graham saying, “I’m just a simple farm boy. You don’t have to know what it means ‘that Jesus died for your sins’ — I don’t. Just accept that it’s true.” It HIT me. Oh, I don’t have to understand. I just have to accept!

I was filled with a vast joy and went to bed and fell into a deep sleep. The next morning I took this event out and pondered it during the stillness. And My Mother Cat — the part of me that has been very unhappy with me for 34 years for my not keeping our daughter Patty from dying from cancer — hopped up into my lap, purred, and then put a paw on each shoulder and licked my face.

Apparently, God, My Mother Cat had received forgiveness, too. And since she was forgiven she could reach out and forgive me.

Now, God, I can hear You (and others) saying, “But surely you knew you were forgiven years ago?” And, yes, My Mind knew. And, I think My Heart knew, too. But, it seems that My Gut did not know. And I guess My Mother cat lives in My Gut.

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