Down into the City and into the Disney Hall

Posted on November 1, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Entrance to the Disney Hall in Los Angeles

Good Morning, God!

Ah, we are down out of the mountains and into the CITY! LA is a megalopolis of a city — although it has always seemed to me more a collection of neighborhoods or suburbs — not a real city like San Francisco. But last night, standing downtown in front of the Disney Center and looking at the tall buildings, it felt like a city. I loved the Disney Hall. Gosh, God, I even took photos as we left the parking area to enter the building — it was so RED and so 21st Century.

Suz going up the escalator from the parking lot

The only small problem with our outing was that I had forgotten that I hate horror movies! I don’t like being scared, God. And, it is more than that. I don’t like the feeling of revulsion I get at seeing evil. The movie was the 1920 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde starring John Barrymore. Mind You, it was fun to see Barrymore and he did a marvelous job of silent film acting. Just over the top enough that I could disassociate a bit.

But, as I watched him turn into the awful looking Hyde I thought that the movie had it totally wrong. It seems to me that AT FIRST evil manages to look ATTRACTIVE. Victims at the end of crack cocaine use look DREADFUL . . . but at the beginning they are possessed of super human energy — an attractive quality. Ah, God! If only we could see ahead! Make that if only we WOULD look ahead.

And, now I am smiling, God, as I think of myself and overeating! The problem of obesity is surely a matter of failing to look ahead — to look past the attractive dessert — and into the three way mirror they used to have in store dressing rooms. Ah, God! That is one of the problems with temptation — short term pleasure — with the problems pushed just out of our willingness to see. Help us, God. Help ME to be willing to look ahead.

Posted in accepting my need for help, Temptation

Words about Wonder from the Poet Denise Levertov

Posted on October 31, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset Light on Sequoia mountain peaks

Good Morning, God!

Denise Levertov said it so well, God, in her poem Primary Wonder:

“Days pass when I forget the mystery.
Problems insoluble
and problems offering
their own ignored solutions
jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber
along with a host of diversions,
my courtiers wearing
their colored clothes; caps and bells”
. . .
And, I too, God, will forget. I will forget these majestic peaks, sunlit by the day’s last light. I will forget the mystery of standing next to a giant creature alive since Athens was in her glory.

My mind will fill with the flotsam and jetsam of a busy life. It is a GOOD life, God, perhaps, VERY good. Yet, it seems sad . . . not quite right . . . to forget as Levertov says at the end of this poem

“the mystery that there is anything, anything at all,
let alone cosmos, joy, memory, everything
rather than void:
and that, O Lord, Creator, Hallowed one
You still, hour by hour sustain it.”

Ah, God! I need to fill my Heart with Words of Wonder! I need to step out of my Daily Doings and into Your Love-Filled Mystery that is always with us — always waiting — always welcoming.

Posted in acknowledging my need for prayer, appreciation, attunement, beauty, busy as an attack strategy, Meaning, mindfulness

A matter of Perspective

Posted on October 30, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

At the Top of Moro Rock

Good Morning, God!

I’m on stage 10 of my 11 stage trip and THANKFUL! Thankful for each separate stage — thankful for the family and friends I’ve been blessed with — thankful for the beauty of the World around me.

Thankful too, for the changes of perspective I’ve been given. Simple ones like seeing Moro Rock from the TOP (as seen by Kit, not me) and seeing Moro Rock from below when we were stopped by the road improvement project.

The world as seen by my younger grandson — in which I was a grievous disappointment technologically speaking — and the world as seen by my brother-in-law with his 8 year old computer — are so different.

Looking UP at Moro Rock

Where we STAND — topographically or generationally — makes an enormous difference in what we see. Ah, now, God! Would that we could see if from YOUR perspective!

What does TIME look like to YOU, the Creator of Time? And, then, there is the even more dizzying question of keeping track of us ALL — the one-day May fly and the 2,800 year old Sequoia — and the BILLIONS of people! Hmmm. And the billions of galaxies, too.

All of it is Too MUCH in quantity and quality for my mind. And I guess that is one of the reasons why people think You don’t exist. Hmmm. Yes, just WHO do I think I am talking with?

A COMPASSIONATE BEING! Yes, I FEEL that I am talking to a Compassionate Being. I am thankful for Jesus because I can’t imagine anything MORE than human. I can imagine BETTER HUMANS but not the MORE than Human that people “reach for” when they talk about The Force, or THE GREAT SPIRIT.

And I know that Compassionate is but one aspect of YOU — but, at this point in my life, it seems to be the quality I value the most. Help us, God, especially in this election year, become more compassionate beings.

Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Perspective, perspectives

Some thoughts on being Half Way UP

Posted on October 29, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Midway up the General Grant Tree

Good Morning, God!

Part way up the General Grant tree is a puzzle. And there are no rangers around to ask. The small straight “tree” shown coming out of the left side here in this photo — is it a branch or is it another tree?

The branches we have seen on this tree and all the other sequoias go pretty much straight out and then may curve up. But this one goes straight up — as if it were its own person — not a branch.

Kit spotted it and we wondered about it. Could it be a pine growing out of the sequoia? Just this morning I read about truffles and other fungi that live in symbiotic relationships with trees.

And it seems as if even dead trees are essential to the health of a forrest — the Web of Life is far more complex than we realize. Still, fungi down on the ground is ONE thing — a separate species growing midway up a sequoia — is quite another.

And, God, speaking of half way up — that is where I was this morning on Moro Rock. I was impressed I got that far up! Fear of heights feels like a body thing. At least that is sort of how I know I am frightened — my BODY tells me!

Now, God, I know it is really my MIND that is responsible. And knowing that, I should be able to work with my mind to reduce the fear — instead of letting my imagination increase it.

Hmmm. But, then I think about how just taking vitamin E has greatly reduced my fear of heights. And how it helped Suz get over “panic attacks.” So, God, what if a lot of the things we think of as “mental” are actually physiological?

Yes, God, I need to stop my Either / Or thinking. Please help me expand and deepen my mental maps!

Posted in accepting my need for help, complexity, web of life

Looking UP — what about GROWING toward UP?

Posted on October 28, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking UP at a Sequoia

Good Morning, God!

Last night I learned that around 70% of the sequoia trees were logged — cut down — and the wood wasn’t even that useful. I suppose, God, I ought to be thankful we created the National Parks system. Thankful we left ANY!

Is that the Nature of our Species? Did the Indians NOT cut these trees down only because they lacked steel saws? Or is it the Mindset of our Culture to cut down and may way for ourselves? Not just cut down trees but wipe out other peoples — telling ourselves it was “self defense”, of course.

Individually, we are mostly good and kind. What is it, then, God, that motivates us to disrespect our environment, other species, and even our own people?

A good question I shall ponder over breakfast. Breakfast has come and gone and the only extenuating circumstance I have come up with is the “Mother Tiger” factor. A mother in defense of her young is FIERCE.

So, I am forced to conclude we are the survivors of the fiercest, not the fittest.

Shoot, God, this is not something I like thinking about! On the other hand, lying to ourselves and to our children doesn’t give us a chance to face facts and . . . maybe find other paths?

It is like learning a few days ago that the population of Rome was 40% slaves. 40%!!! How is it that we fail to see another human AS a fellow Human? How is it that we are willing to live on the substandard wages of others?

I feel a tug toward the “theological”, God. How is it that we fail to see we NEED Your HELP to become New Creatures? Humbler creatures. More COMPASSIONATE creatures. And, then, of course, comes the my excuse — where are our Role Models?

Ouch! Here comes Your Response. I have given you a Role Model — and I am offering you help to change. Why are your waiting?

Posted in a matter of scale, Perspective, perspectives

The General Sherman Tree and Me

Posted on October 27, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The General Sherman Tree and Me

Good Morning, God!

I am so grateful to be RESTING! Really resting — with no places to go and people to see. Of course, God, we HAVE gone places and we HAVE met people — people like our waiter, Julia with a photographic mind who has theories about autistic minds.

We are having a marvelous time but nothing is scheduled. Aaaah. I know I will long for the FULLNESS of my normal life. But, right now I am enjoying going slow. SLOW, it is a lovely word, God, one that I have never really appreciated.

Perhaps, it is being here with these amazing trees, God, that helps me appreciate Slow? With luck I might live to 120 — the Giants’ Grove is filled with Sequoias over 1,200 years old. Some are around 3,000 years old. They are taking it slow, all right.

They don’t fear fire. In the museum I picked up a piece of bark and it was so light! It felt like it was some sort of cross between fur and feathers and plant stuff. Obviously a marvelous insulator! Wrapped in that bark the tree would be safe from fires. More than that, it turns out the Sequoias NEED fire to reproduce. Fire causes the cones to drop their seeds — drop them into ash covered soil — cleared of deep piles of organic material that keep seedlings from rooting. And the death of the surrounding trees means more sunlight and nutrients for those seedlings.

The Forest Service now has regular controlled burns — after “protecting” the trees from fire and finally noticing that there were NO SEEDLINGS. And they have removed all the commercial cabins and souvenir shops that were damaging the trees’ environment.

Hmmm. What might I need to remove from my environment? Something to ponder, God, something to ponder — along with how we as a civilization can make better use of the Julia’s among us!

Posted in a matter of scale, the layers of life, time

We have an “Adventure”

Posted on October 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A foggy late afternoon drive in Sequoia

Good Morning, God!

Late yesterday afternoon I said to Kit, “We are having an Adventure.” And we were.
The Adventure started when the signs as we entered Sequoia said we would have to “pay” in 3 miles. We never did see a place to pay. And as the miles ticked by we became less and less certain we were going the right way. The map didn’t help because nothing we came across was on the map.

Finally, Kit turned around so we could go back to the Monticeto Lake Lodge and ask. I was the designated Asker. Yes, yes! We WERE going the right way and it would be maybe 30 more minutes to Wuksachi Villege and our Lodge. And it would have been 30 minutes IF fog had not settled in on us.

So we averaged maybe 25 miles an hour and by the time we got to Wuksachi it was not just foggy but pitch black. We pulled into the Lodge parking lot with relief. Only, we were not staying at the Lodge. The receptionist at the front desk pulled out a map to show us we were across the street, down the road and up past two parking lots to the farthest of three buildings. Not hard if there had been LIGHTS. But, there were No Lights. NONE. I have to confess, God, I longed for a little light pollution.

The receptionist said they could provide a bell man to help us get our bags to the room. Kit said, Oh no. But I was looking at that map and I had seen the long winding trail we were supposed to FIND in the DARK and and then FOLLOW dragging our bags.

So, I said YES, and It was a quick sale. The nice young bell man, Sean, guided us to a parking spot and then drove us and our assorted baggage up to the building via a fire road and delivered us safely to our room — where we STAYED — dining on lunch leftovers. Both of us VERY THANKFUL that mostly, for us, Adventures are rare.

Posted in Humility or Needing Help!, small meaningful moments, thankfulness

More thoughts on the Sugar Snake

Posted on October 25, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Morning, God!

This idea of EXTERNALIZING a troublesome aspect of yourself — which I had somehow just lumped into Projection — is turning out to have a helpful aspect. At least, it seems to me, God, that since I came up with the idea of my “addictive craving for sugar” being a Sugar Snake coiled up in my bowels it has been less difficult to resist sweet stuff.

Only, of course, it isn’t just sweet stuff — starch turns instantly into sugar, as does alcohol. Sigh. It only takes just a little sugar for the snake to grow strong enough to break out of her cage. Thank You, God, that on THIS side of the addiction — when the snake is safely caged — I can remember that fact.

An End to Overeating

Years ago, Suz urged me to “JUST STOP, Mom, when you feel full.” I told her, I only feel it when I’m STUFFED. There was no warning before that — my poor dear body. I told Suz the other day, “I finally know how thin feels.” Now, to be honest, God, I am not thin. But, I am beginning to catch a glimmer of what it might feel like.

David Kessler’s book An End to Overeating helps put this whole obesity epidemic in perspective. We are designed to love sugar and for thousands of years that worked just fine. There was no such thing as cheap refined sugar. Grains were stone grown and had to be really chewed to break down to sugar.

Now the Industrial Food Complex is able to give us just want we want — the perfect combination of sugars, fats and salts — in a melt-in-your-mouth consistency.

So, God, if folks don’t know they have a Sugar Snake, how are they going to resist?

Posted in accepting my need for help, Cherishing our Bodies, choosing HARD

Factors in Longevity — Obesity, Education and the Growth Mindset

Posted on October 24, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Dr. Bhattacharya showing a BMI chart by educational level

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday morning, I heard Professor Laura Carstensen say that educational level was the best predictor of longevity. My response was that I didn’t think it was so much the “information” gained as it was the self-discipline it takes to get educational degrees. Doing the “smart” stuff to live longer requires self-discipline.

Then that afternoon I saw Professor Jay Bhattachaya’s slide of the the population’s growing Body Mass Index (how fat we are) by educational level. High school dropouts have the highest BMI and then high school graduates, next come the folks with some college and there at the “least fat” level were the college graduates. Mind You, God, we are ALL getting fatter — but for the last 30 years or so, that breakdown by educatioal level was consistent.

Later, God, I thought back to Professor Carol Dweck’s talk on Learners and Non-Learners. Learners have a Growth Mindset. They think that effort pays off. They believe that they CAN learn. She even thinks IQ is subject to growth — and why not! So, it isn’t just a matter of self-discipline (not my favorite virtue) but also of the self-image of ourselves as a Learner . And Dweck has been TEACHING the Growth Mindset to children, college freshmen, and business leaders. It can be taught!

I’m smiling, God! You’ve been waiting for “us” to catch up to Your Message — that we can become “new creatures” in Christ. More loving, creatures. More giving, creatures. More forgiving, creatures. Indeed, creatures who are ambassadors of reconciliation.

I am afraid, God, that is not how we look to the world. No, it is worse than that. That is NOT what we are — with beloved exceptions. Aaah. But I am not giving up! I KNOW that YOU want to help us GROW toward You. Let’s DO IT!

Posted in a hand up, a series of molts and upgrades, becoming the change I wish to see, being a Slow Learner, the Growth Mindset

Back to Lagunita, Back to Oak Trees, Back to a Special Time

Posted on October 23, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

An Oak Tree at Lagunita with a squirrel

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday morning Kit dropped Lani and Linda and me off at Lagunita — we wanted to revisit where we had spent our sophomore year. It was misting ever so slightly and it was even more lovely than it was years ago. The Oak Trees were one of my very favorite things about Stanford. Beautiful old oaks. Imagine my delight, God, at capturing a squirrel in this photo!

What I can’t capture is the Brigadoonish feeling of going back to places where you haven’t been for years and years. Places where you feel as if you could turn suddenly and bump into your younger self. Going back with my freshman roommates made this sense of being Back in Time more acute. Perhaps also, part of it was the sense of timelessness the old oaks projected. They were there BEFORE Leland Stanford came . . . before generations of girls and now, BOYS and girls, lived next to them.

Felix Kessing, my anthropology teacher, said that our class marked a turning point. We were different from the classes before us — and from the classes that followed. And, God, I have felt this in the years that followed — never clearly one or the other.

Standing there, beneath the oaks, I was thankful. Thankful for Stanford. Thankful for my friends — and classmates — and alums that have all partaken of this place. It was a Time and Place of growth. And, now, God, as I am typing away — I hear whispers — a call to once again Learn and Grow. Hmmm. A call to a Growth Mindset? Yes! AND MORE!

Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, growing toward up, learning, Perspective, thankfulness