Good Morning, God!
It’s winter here in Honolulu. I wore a jacket this morning. But the main change in Winter is the Darkness. Starting a walk in the dark is special. The planets are showing. The birds are waking up. And the Sun is rising. Sunrise!
We are New Every Morning, God. New Creatures with a brand new day. The Gift of Time and the Gift of Life. The gifts of a wonderful husband to share coffee with before we get up to begin our day. The gift of dear friends to go walking with. I am thankful!
Thankful, but, I realized recently that I have been guilty of “minimizing” my hurts, my griefs, and my sorrows. My Mind — which fears pain and grief — rushes in to tell me not to feel bad. There there, it could have been worse . . . think of the drowning refugees, etc.
I was praying with a friend today and I saw that she was doing the very same thing. We don’t want to whine and feel sorry for ourselves. (Yes, I am culturally sensitized to be judgmental about folks whining.) But, that has meant that I have avoided feeling my feelings. Stuffing them.
Ooo. Not good. Feelings will WAIT AROUND until the ARE FELT. So, recently, I have been doing more feeling. It does hurt. Feeling tough stuff HURTS.
But, God, my Heart is feeling more open — feeling as if there is more room inside it. It is as if the Grief in my Gut can only escape through my Heart . . . when it is Heard . . .Felt . . . and Released.
Imagine, God! I am beginning to feel Compassion for myself . . . all of my dear old Past Selves . . . embracing them . . . comforting them . . . feeling with them. It is GOOD.