Good Morning, God!
Yesterday was another Sabbath. I was going to say another “failed” Sabbath, but I’ve decided to reframe it as a “learning” Sabbath!
I don’t like confessing failures, God. And that is in spite of my dramatic experience back ’08 where I was given the gift of 90 minutes of confessing to “sacred strangers.” It was an incredible gift!
I felt SO CLEAN and FORGIVEN and WHOLE!
But, as You so clearly showed me — confessing is a bit like upchucking. It makes us feel much better. But, we have to feel really bad before we do it.
As if to further make that point, yesterday’s sermon was based on the 32 Psalm in which the psalmist said in verses 3 and 4 “When I kept silent, [not acknowledging my sin] my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
The psalmist starts by talking about how BLESSED is the one whose transgressions are forgiven. Ah, God, I have experienced that relief! So then, let me confess that I had intended to “just take care of myself” yesterday. That being my current version of “rest.”
But, as the day went on, I found myself angry and grumpy — mostly at myself, but my dear Kit got the spill over. Angry because my life is too full. Angry that I am not “taking good care of myself.” And, maybe just ANGRY!
Ah, but that is where the learning came in. My feelings knew they needed to be FELT and up they came in all their ickiness — to be dealt with — ready or not. I hope/intend God, that those FEELINGS will lead to CHANGE — with Your help!