Good Morning, God!
The sun won’t be up for another hour or so — but I am sitting here appreciating the beauty of the green colors on Koko Crater. Normally, this old volcano mount is streaked with the brown of weathered lava.
But, the rains have meant that the growing vegetation has carpeted it with variegated greens. LOVELY. Actually, God, it was breath-takingly lovely. I pulled my car over to the side of the road and took a photo.
There are these moments when I SEE. See and FEEL. And that reminds me of Daniel Siegel’s book Mindsight. The case study I was listening to yesterday was of a woman whose miserable childhood had closed off her willingness (unconsciously, of course) to FEEL. I marveled at how simple relaxation and body scans helped her integrate her body with her mind — opening her heart to feel again.
Dr. Siegel makes the point that we ALL know, that feelings come in a spectrum. Limiting the down limits the up. But, he actually tells how folks can slowly reconnect — even to disassociated traumas — and regain fuller access to a broader spectrum of feelings.
Awareness. It seems to be about TRUSTING enough to open ourselves up to buried feelings. I’m sitting here, God, and wondering how many walled off feelings I might have. My conscious mind says, NONE. But, aah, yes, there is still a subterranean labyrinth of pain and sorrow about losing Patty.
So, perhaps, it is Time Again to go and Share with my therapist, Mavis. My “Warrior Spirit” says DON’T BOTHER! Get on with your wonderful life. But, I am learning, God, that my Past, when Reclaimed, will help me become Green and Growing, too. Please, God, help me MAKE TIME for further healing.