Good Morning, God!
I confess, I didn’t exactly keep the Sabbath yesterday. But, I felt I HAD to ASK for HELP. I was overwhelmed! Usually I can wait and do it Monday. But Monday is booked. And the volume of “stuff” needing my attention made me realize that I needed help to get my office under control — before I “drowned” in chaos and confusion.
It is taking me a long time, God, to accept my Limits! Yes, and even longer to be willing to live WITHIN my limits! Hmmm. You’re Right, God, I am not THAT far along.
It’s so funny, God. Humility tastes like ASHES in my mouth, but it bears the sweetest fruit!
Anyway, yesterday, it was totally clear that the BEST kind of “rest” would be to “play” with organizing my office. My promise to myself was “YOU are ONLY going to be helping YOURSELF — no work for anyone else! That is another admission of My Limits, and Needs — an act of Humility. Because helping OTHERS makes me feel needed and useful. But understanding that first I had to help myself — was to acknowledge myself as “needy.” DUH! I mean, that should be SO OBVIOUS, God! But reality is warped by my protective filters. Sigh.
Another confession, God, I have my friend and former work colleague, Ann, here to help me. Having her help is just like getting a second brain! I know I could not have done it without her help!
I am the product (victim?) of my generation’s educational model. If you “needed” help you had “failed.” And if you GOT help from someone else — it was called CHEATING! No wonder it is so HARD for me to ask for help! Thank goodness, the educational model is changing. Just the other day a friend was saying how in her graduate classes all students work in cohorts — not alone! Now, God, please help ME keep on changing and growing toward humilty!