Walking in the Dawn’s Early Light

Posted on January 21, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking south 7 minutes after sun rise

Good Day, God!

I’m really a night owl, God. So I love it when I wake up in the dark. Ah! It is still night — I haven’t missed it.

Waking up after the sun is up just doesn’t feel right. And, because my husband Kit really is a morning lark, mostly I do wake up when it is still night time.

Finally I noticed that even when the days start getting longer, the sun is still rising later. Now, with the Star Walk app on my iPhone I have the exact figures.

On December 19, 2011, the day was 10 hours and 49 minutes long and the sun rose at 7:02 a.m. The day stayed the same length until December 26 when it lengthened by one minute to 10:50. But, meanwhile the sun was rising at 7:04, 7:05 and on December 26 at 7:06. In other words, while the days were getting longer, the sun was rising later. By January 7th the sun was rising at 7:10 and it will continue to rise at that time until January 26th when it will rise at 7:09, beginning a progression of earlier rises.

What that all means is that in January, I pretty much walk in the dark — dark enough that I wear white. And I love it. I love watching the Light slowly fill the sky — coloring the clouds — and waking the birds. It’s a surprising, simple joy.

Hmm. Maybe the best part is that I actually noticed and investigated this prolonged period (19 days) where the sun rises at exactly the same time. Noticing means my brain isn’t filled to overflowing with To Do List activities — and worse yet, Must Do activities! I’m smiling, God. I’m retired and I’m thankful!

Tagged with: being able to notice the world around me
Posted in Abundant Life, appreciation, seasonal changes, seeing, simple joys of daily life, slow incremental change, stopping to see

Sunlight, Seas, Trees and Me

Posted on January 20, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The view driving around Diamond Head

Good Day, God!

I’m back in my regular routine and thankful! It is a beautiful world and especially in January and February when the sun here in Hawaii is tilted to the South. The Light seems even more glorious.

This particular view delights me every time I drive around Diamond Head. The problem is, I drive by. But today they were hanging big metal nets on the side of Diamond Head to stop — or at least slow — falling rocks. So the traffic was stopped. Voila! Photo time!

Yes, that does remind me, God, of the benefits of pausing. And that reminds me that I haven’t done my Centering Prayer Time for today. It is so easy, God, to forget about Silent Prayer. I guess Extroverts like me love TALKING prayers — Prayers with WORDS — so we know what’s going on.

But, I am beginning to accept that my Conscious Mind does not get to be privy to everything. You and my Hidden Parts have things to do — lessons to learn — comfort to receive. Of course, since I don’t get to be part of it, I don’t exactly know. But that’s my guess about what’s going on.

You know, God, if You would SHARE just a little bit of what goes on when I’m doing Centering Prayer, it would make it so much easier to remember to do it. Sigh. I’m pretty sure You just responded that AFTER I’ve done regular Centering Prayer for a while, THEN I might “catch” an image or word. Dang!

That thought might not have been from You, God. But it sure does feel right. This is an opportunity for my Conscious Mind to step aside — and try not to be in a snit about it. Oh? She can be in a snit if she likes — as long as she goes and does it!

Tagged with: Craving Words as a way to know, Diamond Head, Hawaii
Posted in Centering Prayer, Perspective, Prayer, Silence

Unfurling — Still more growing to do

Posted on January 19, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

an anthurium blossom slowly unfurling

Good Day, God!

Anthuriums are slow to grow. They start out tightly furled. In fact, when they begin I can’t really tell if the shoot will turn out to be a leaf or a flower. It takes time for it to fully unfurl. Even when shoots are fully extended they continue to stretch out and grow.

I feel very much like this anthurium, God. I certainly don’t feel fully unfurled. Indeed, I’m not even sure if I am a leaf or a flower — an unsettling thought.

I feel good about the “still growing” part, God, even though I have lived long enough to know that “growing pains” are to be expected. Painful or not, we are called to grow.

Learning is part of it. But Head Learning is only a small part of it. Our Hearts are called to learn — called to learn compassion, called to learn to see each other as having the potential to become New Creatures.

Calvin and his transmogrifier

When I think of “becoming” I find my mind going back to Calvin and his Transmogrifer. Wouldn’t that be wonderful, God! I could sit in my prayer chair / transmogrifer and BOINK just become a New Creature. A new improved model.

I guess that instant fix does happen to some folks — Saint Paul on the road to Damascus — folks instantly delivered from drug addictions or completely healed of terminal illnesses.

But, for me, Becoming or Unfurling is a slow business — very slow. And some days I revert to a tiny furled shoot that looks like it will be lucky to become a leaf. Sigh. No Spiritual Transmogrifiers?

Just as well, God. Because I an not a Product coming out with New Models. I am a Child. And Growth comes more from the Failing and Forgiving than from “getting IT right!”

Tagged with: a moment with God, the slow hard path to unfurling, the tempting idea of a Spiritual Transmogrifier
Posted in a hand up, Compassion, growing toward up, layer upon layer, LOVE

Attitudes, Adjustments and Being Alive

Posted on January 18, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a hibiscus at my mom's retirement home

Good Day, God!

Hibiscus only bloom for one day — but they surely do give that one day their all! We, on the other hand have thousands and thousands of days. I’ve been pondering that, God. And visiting my 97 year old mom brings the number of our days into sharper focus.

Patty, our middle daughter who died at 18, surely grasped the evanescence of life. Her motto was Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! That’s not all that easy to do, God.

A day or two ago I arrived to visit my mom only to find her napping — waking up to complain about being in a Time Warp. I said, Aha! My mother has been abducted by Space Aliens and transported into a Time Warp! We both laughed.

Having a mother who grew up on Science Fiction is a rare gift, God! In fact, having a mother at all at my age is a gift! Having a mother who has a pretty positive attitude and loves games and loves a good laugh is even more of a gift.

So, I am sitting here, God, looking at the hibiscus and trying to grasp that Time doesn’t matter anymore than Size or Space matter. As I search for what does matter — the only word that comes to me is Heart. That feels right. You do see our hearts, God. And You see our hearts and our limitations with compassion.

Now, please help us, God, to see as You see. To see with compassion — ourselves and those around us — near and far.

Tagged with: the adjustments of aging with a scifi spin
Posted in Compassion, Hearts, seeing, time

Back from a Week OFF

Posted on January 17, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A sunrise walk on Martin Luther King Day

Good Day God,

I’m sitting here pondering my Week Off. It wasn’t just a week off from “work.” It was a week off from playing with friends, too. I even took off from my beloved Wednesday Morning Women’s Prayer Group.

The first thing I learned was I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS! The second thing I learned was I needed to do this A LOT MORE THAN I REALIZED!

It’s funny, God. My Mom has been telling me for years, “You are doing TOO much!” Ah, but who listens to mothers . . . or heavenly parents . . . either.

I can remember writing a story for a dear friend at Arcadia — a story about how we “borrow against the Body’s Bank” when we need to get through things. Then we have to pay back the loan. Paying back is tricky. We don’t get statements in the mail. We don’t have an outflow meter. We don’t seem to be able to quantify our “debt.”

I can’t quantify my debt either, God. I just know that I have more to pay back. When I ask myself “how much more?” I come up with the image that my Battery is still only 45% charged. That’s not enough is it. So I will be going a bit slower for a while.

Looking back at my Week Off what amazes me the most is that I had the “wit” to take it. Hmmm. Surely my daughters or friends must have suggested it? In the past I think I have just waited to get sick. I guess for me SICK was the only acceptable excuse.

One clear lesson is that Voluntary Down Time is ever so much better than INVOLUNTARY Down Time. I have lots more to say about my Week, God. But, it can wait. Right now, I just want to focus on how very very thankful I am. Thank You!

Tagged with: A Whole Week Off, Doing not much, gentle meandering and being open
Posted in Cherishing our Bodies, Needed Repair Time, refraining from work, rest

Changing Viewpoints, Changing Perspectives

Posted on January 9, 2012 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Looking at the "back side" of Koko Crater

Good Night, God!

Koko Crater is one of my favorite objects to photograph. But almost always I take photos from the Hawaii Kai side. This view was taken on our walk up Makapuu,, on the other side.

There is a lot to be said for changing viewpoints. So often we get stuck in one point of view. In fact, I remember how shocked I was to realize that Koko Crater was hollow! Of course, intellectually I realized craters are almost by definition hollow. Still, it didn’t look hollow from where I sat.

I’m going to refrain from obvious applications of this idea and go to one that I believe is not so obvious. That’s about our “routines.”

When I retired for the first time, at the end 1994, I must have been without a normal routine. But, since the start of 1997 when I started working again, I have been living a fairly structured life. Even our trips have been not real vacations, as we were either doing a marathon (husband Kit as the runner) or group tours, or visiting family.

So, having an At-Home-Retreat will be a change — sort of a change of viewpoint? Furthermore, God, I am not going to blog about it. I couldn’t blog when I was on my Snowmass Retreat. And it feels “right” that I should keep silent during this one. Seeds need time to put out roots. Pulling them up out of the dirt to see how they are doing — is tempting, but not a good idea.

So, if all goes well, I’ll be back to blogging next week, God. Meanwhile, I’m hoping to mostly just listen.

Tagged with: an at-home retreat., Time outside of Routines
Posted in Changing, Hearing, listening, lying fallow, Perspective

Makapuu Lighthouse, Great Views and Whales Too

Posted on January 8, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Makapuu Lighthouse

Good Day, God!

I’ve seen the Makapu’u Lighthouse for years, but only as a small white shape on the slope of Makapuu Point on the island of Oahu. It was planned back in the 1880’s — when Hawaii was still a kingdom. It wasn’t built until 1909 and still has the largest lighthouse lens in service.

This morning Kit and I went with his Metro Rotary Club — which has a retired Coast Guard admiral as a member — and with his “good offices” we were able to tour the inside of the lighthouse.

That would have been exciting enough for one day, God. But this lighthouse sits right at the southeast tip of Oahu. The views of Rabbit Island and Waimanalo were fantastic — and then we saw whales leaping and splashing. Who could ask for anything more?

Looking toward Waimanalo

But, we did have more, God. We had friends to walk and talk with as we climbed up and down the path.

Now it’s time for bed. I’m still falling asleep in my Centering Prayer time — but I am beginning to feel like myself again.

Thank You, God, that I have committed myself to a whole week at home — this Tuesday through Monday. Otherwise, I would be out there doing.

I like doing. I like it a lot! But, I am so thankful for this week of resting, going slow, reading and maybe thinking, too. Meanwhile, here is just one more photo of the actual light! Then, thanks for a Great Day and Good Night!

looking at the light from INSIDE the lighthouse

Tagged with: a moment with God, beauty everywhere, being outdoors, Makapuu Lighthouse
Posted in appreciation, Light, Perspective, thankfulness

Creative Solutions and Doing Something Different

Posted on January 7, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Notice the giant sign-in pen

G’Day, God!

This morning, my wonderful husband Kit suggested that I do a blog on “Creative Solutions.” Like what?, I said. Like the huge pen at your mom’s retirement residence, he replied. And, he’s right. That huge pen, for use in visitor sign-ins, is a delightfully creative solution to the problem of pens inadvertently being carried off.

I’ve been thinking about creative solutions. The only one I can remember coming up with was putting a king-sized top sheet on our queen-sized bed. That solved the problem of Kit rolling up in our queen-sized sheet and leaving me uncovered. He still rolls up in the bigger sheet but now there is enough left over for me.

There should be more creative solutions, God. Lots more. And I guess there would be if I could just clearly identify individual problems. That’s harder for me than it sounds, God.

Problems — or opportunities for creative solutions — become familiar and then slowly slide into invisibility. I guess this is the downside of adaptability, God. So, I keep on doing the same old things with the same old results.

Next week I am going to try something different. Starting on Tuesday I am going to cancel all the fun things I do during the week and stay at home. Stay home and sleep in. And focus on . . . Hmm. I’m not at all sure what I will focus on. I’m not doing it to come up with creative solutions. I’m doing it because I need to. It feels like an Official Act of Humility.

Funny how one of my Sub-Selves is calling it self-indulgent . . . calling it giving up . . . failing, etc. Maybe this sub-self will be less judgmental and more compassionate when we’ve all rested for awhile!

Tagged with: an at-home retreat., Taking a week off
Posted in Creating, Possibilities, rest, self care as self compassion and humility

Sunset, Tiki Torches and a Few Thoughts

Posted on January 6, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sitting at the Shack -- looking toward the ocean

Good Evening, God!

Well, a slip of the fingers and an empty post got published. Ah yes, God, I make mistakes — all kinds! Maybe that’s why I went ahead and ordered a copy of Wabi-Sabi. This is a book about the Japanese aesthetic that values the beauty of the imperfect, the impermanent and the incomplete. The beauty of things modest and humble.

It sounds wonderfully wise — and comforting, too. Just what I need as my vantage point shifts so that the long ignored impermanent becomes more and more real to me. Then, too, the reality of Never Being Done is taking on more and more the nature of a Challenge.

Maybe that is part of why I love sitting outside and watching the sun set and the moon rise. These basic repeating cycles provide a sort of assurance, God, about continuation and structure. One that I very much appreciate. One that I need as I live in the Now.

One good part of getting older is that each Now can contain so many other Times and Places. This afternoon I went through my mom’s assortment of jewelry. She had received a bracelet for her birthday and she wanted to find an old one to wear with it. We found owl earrings from Athens which took her back to her three months there with my dad while he worked there. We found a necklace from Egypt which may have been from that same time period — and Cripple Creek gold earrings from when she and Dad lived in Denver.

We had such a good time, God. And now I have silver to polish — just as we polished up memories.

Tagged with: a moment with God, sunsets, Wabi-Sabi and the beauty of impermanence
Posted in Changing, cyclical nature of the universe, the joy of sharing, the layers of life, time, Transitions

Time sitting beside the Waters

Posted on January 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Conversation under the Hau Tree

Good Day, God!

There is something very healing about sitting near water. Even a small creek, God, is restorative. But, surely the ocean off Waikiki is in a class by itself.

I was in the sunlight for a few minutes — getting my vitamin D — long enough so that I was thankful when my friend arrived and announced that she needed to sit in the shade.

Sitting, looking at the ocean, and talking — with little bursts of prayer — resting and recharging — sharing time together. That’s Friendship.

And, it comes to me that may very well be all You want from me. No deep thoughts, no mighty acts, nothing worthy of note. Just being aware of You and “being together” in some indescribable way. Being out of doors, God, makes it easier to be aware of You. Sunshine and perfect weather makes it easier still.

Looking up at the sky, out at the water, around me at the people — I know that what I am seeing is not all there is. But, when I am indoors — sitting at my desk, surrounded by my projects and stuff — I lose perspective. I fall back into thinking that “what I see, is all there is.” Daniel Kahneman, in his book, Thinking Fast and Slow, describes that as a common mistake .

Knowing that there is a whole lot more “going on” than we can see helps us appreciate other people. Gosh, God, it even helps me appreciate myself. In another conversation, later in the day, I was complaining that my Executive Director Sub-Self was missing. Then my friend gave me a quizzical look and it came to me that I do not want a bossy Executive Director! I want a subservient social secretary and accountant! That was a new awareness, God!

Thank You, God, for new understandings and for days by the sea.