Choosing the Best, Choosing Conversations

Posted on April 14, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Entrance to Azul -- a restaurant at the Ihilani

Good Morning, God!

I love doors — openings into new worlds, new experiences — in this case, perhaps new tastes. They are so symbolic of coming and going.

I never know what makes me think that I can actually get everything DONE before I go — biological optimism? Or is that just a failure to accept reality as I seem to be addicted to designing it?

On the other hand, what I have done has been wonderful! Here is the motto of the restaurant: E komo mai, e noho mai, e ‘ai a e (come sit, eat and talk) Aren’t those wonderful words, God! I have chosen to come sit, eat and talk . . . lots of talking and listening. How utterly important it is to speak words out loud. Words swirling around in my head really don’t seem to get me anywhere. But, when I hear myself say them — AH, then things shift and move inside me.

Today is Wednesday and I have risen early and will drive off to our Women’s Prayer Group. We will be real and we will laugh and we will speak — hearing others and hearing ourselves. Our founder, Marge Terpstra (aka the Reverend Doctor Marge) said ALL of it is Prayer. But we will have a time of formally speaking to You, God. I love it. I love it because there is something different — more real? — about praying out loud in a group of trusted friends. Mind you, people become trusted friends by praying together — real prayers.

This evening a friend called for a phone hug. Hugs are almost — well, maybe MORE — as important as speaking. That is part of our Prayer Group dynamics — hugs! Every one each other a hug coming in — and going out. The Body has its own wisdom and way of speaking. Thank You God for doing such a marvelous job of creating us! Help us keep on letting You adjust us!

Posted in Being ENJOYED by God, being heard into speaking, being together in a compassionate presence, connecting, connections, Conversations, hearing myself, hugs, listening, Prayer, relationships

Outer and Inner Maps of Reconciliation

Posted on April 13, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A map of Ireland

Good Morning, God!

A map of Ireland, You might ask? Well, this morning — after the conclusion, yesterday afternoon, of the Arcadia Library Open House — my mind is turning toward WHAT ELSE is coming up.

I need to sit and make a map of my day — my week — which only goes through Thursday morning. That’s when we fly off mid-day for Boston — for Kit to run the Boston Marathon — and then off we go to Ireland.

My Mind is FULL! No, not as full as it was yesterday! And thank You, God for that! Actually, thank You for FULLNESS. Thank YOU for a life full of wonderful family and wonderful friends — it is, after all our fellow human beings that are intertwined with the essence of LIFE.

THE TWO GREAT COMMANDMENTS: to love YOU, GOD, with all our strength and heart and mind, AND TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR AS OUR SELVES.

Then the question arises — as the lawyer asked of Jesus — who is my neighbor? And maybe that is why I chose the map of Ireland for today’s image. I suppose, God, that Ireland isn’t quite as “bad” as Rwanda. But, then, it has such a long history of Troubles that perhaps it is worth looking at. So many Waves of Invaders — coming to dispossess those on the Land and take their place. How much worse, God, when that is “Dressed Up” as Invaders Coming in the Name of God — coming to bring the Truth. It was Roman Catholics vs. Cromwell’s Presbyterians back in the 1600s.

And all of this is going on in Darfur . . . in Tibet . . . in our own hearts as we “demonize” Others. And, now I am asking — WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH ME, GOD?

I am afraid to ask You because Being a Peace Maker means to be attacked by BOTH SIDES! Yes, Being a Peace Maker means HEARING the HEARTS of the HURTING.

Being a Peace Maker seems to begin with self examination — followed by repentance — followed by confession — followed by asking for forgiveness. I think that is what the Truth and Reconciliation meetings involved in Ireland and in South Africa. Hmm. it seems to me that this model was informal in Northern Ireland. It was! Women did it back in the 1970’s! Betty Williams and friends founded The Community of Peace People and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1976. Betty Williams (Nobel laureate) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia . And now the government is considering that as an official way of healing in Northern Ireland.

Truth and reconciliation commission – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Ah, dear God. Thank You for the reminder that just a handful of people RESPONDING TO YOU can make a difference. And, I guess, that we are all to be willing. Sigh, I guess the point of all of this is I AM TO BE WILLING. And, seeing no immediate danger of being called — I blush at that truth — I can cheerfully say, YES GOD. And go back to planning my day and moving my detritus around.

Posted in confession, connections, courage, power and peace and gentleness, the gift of persistent love, The gift to SEE others, Trusting God, Truth and Reconciliation Commissions

Lessons in Stopping, Gifts of Seeing

Posted on April 12, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Paradise Cove inlet

Good Morning God!

This is an incredible world! And last Friday before going to the spa at the Ihilani I went to look at the world YOU created.

So beautiful! And it was good to get out of my usual paths — to look at another part of this jewel of an island.

Waianae Head

You know, God, just looking at the photos aerates my soul — how much more being there helped tiredness and busyness drop away.

How odd that we don’t take a break more often to refresh ourselves. Perhaps, learning to prepare for and then relax into the Sabbath — is really a lesson in taking a break. Perhaps the Sabbath is more about learning to disengage from the addictive world of productivity — than it is about not working.

But, then again, it is probably both of those and much more. You are the master of intertwining gifts and lessons, God!

Just one more photo from Friday’s outing. A white hibiscus that was so lush that I thought at first it must be a gardenia.

a white hibiscus with drops of water still on it

Thank You, God, that I was ABLE to take a break — and yes, I was tempted to excuse myself as having too much to do! Imagine that!

Sigh, I want to live life using the stepping stone model — not the freeway model.

This morning I am going to work hard — trying to get my areas shaped up. I know I would have enjoyed myself EVEN more yesterday if there weren’t at least 20 items out calling for attention on my desk. Ah! But, I LET THEM WAIT! This morning, too, I am beginning with You.

Now, please help me to take BREAKS — to Breathe — to BE AWARE — to Be AVAILABLE.

Posted in Perspective, refraining from work, reframing, sabbath rest, sacred space, stopping, stopping to see

Heal us, now — music by Leon Sher

Posted on April 11, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Cantor Leon Sher who wrote Heal Us Now

Thank You, God!

Thank You for the performance of Heal Us Now — written by Cantor Leon Sher. Our Central Union Church Choir sang it this morning and I found myself sitting up straight and with my attention riveted to the music. I felt like a bird dog, pointing!

First the cantor (Dr. David Stein) sang in Hebrew — then the choir joined in with these lyrics:

We pray for healing of the body

we pray for healing of the soul

. . . Please heal us now.

The other words that lodged in my heart were:

Heal our people . . . Heal our land

It seemed to me a perfect prayer. We do so need to be healed — there are layers and layers of us that need healing — well, at least inside me. And, God, it’s the profoundly joyful calling of those being healed — to cry out for healing for our people — all people — and our LAND.

Sigh. Oh Dear God! Help us to join hands and focus on all that unites us. It is so easy to focus on how we differ — missing the point, almost entirely! Help us, God! Please HELP us!

YouTube – Music from Rosh Hashanah pt2 The performance of Heal Us Now as done by Temple Adat Shalon in Poway California

Posted in a prayer for healing, Focus on what unites us, Heal Us Now

Reassessing a favorite story, and maybe — myself?

Posted on April 11, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning God,

This story — which I dare not now refer to by it’s old name — strikes me as so important.

The point of the story (for me) was that the Rabbit — thinking the manikin was real — expected a courteous response to his Good Morning. Good manners clearly call for the Rabbit’s “Good Morning” to elicite a “Good Morning” from the sticky manikin.

Of course, we who are hearing the story know that the manikin isn’t real. He CAN’T speak.

But the Rabbit doesn’t stop to question the manikins abilities. He takes the failure to respond politely as a personal insult. He lashes out with one furry little fist — and in short order becomes totally STUCK to the sticky manikin. At that point the fox and bear come out ready to carry him off — and for most people this is an entrapment story. But I see it as a “failure to assess” story.

My goodness, God, how many times have I “failed to assess” and taken something personally — without stopping to ask myself if the person in question is actually ABLE to respond or initiate the way I EXPECT him or her to do. As a dear friend said — if you want to be happy — lower your expectations.

Hmmm. Maybe the Rabbit and I need to be asking You for the gift of DISCERNMENT! Discernment is when You help us with The Assessment Function. Gosh, God. When I’m busy I don’t even stop to think — let alone to ASSESS.

Today is a Day of Rest. Please God — help me RESIST busy — help me do some gentle assessing of myself — help me to adjust my expectations of myself.

Posted in Discernment, Failure to assess, foolish expectations

Self Care — Self Respect — and Spas

Posted on April 10, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Ihilani Spa pool - warm and bubbly

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday, I gave myself a belated birthday gift — a trip to the Ihilani Spa out in Kapolei. It was a lesson in Self Care. In telling Kit about my day over dinner I described it as Self Care — he smiled and called it Self Indulgence.

Well, yes, God — there was a bit of that involved. But what I have taken away from yesterday is the certainty that I want to get a lot better at Self Care.

First of all, I took a day off — and it wasn’t even a Sabbath Day of Commanded Rest. I did this even though my To Do List still had lots on it. That meant I had to refocus my attention. I had to stop being product oriented.

Yesterday wasn’t about being productive — it was about being receptive. It was also about honoring / respecting my Body. Midway through my spa treatment I thought HOW CAN IT BE THAT I FORGOT HOW GOOD THIS IS? Then I realized that my Body hadn’t forgotten — it is just that my BODY CAN’T SPEAK!

Gosh, God, that is My Job, isn’t it –to care for my whole self — including my Body. I have thought of “having Authority” over my Life as meaning I have to be more disciplined — imagine my delight to find that it also means being kinder and more nurturing to myself! Life is full of Both/ And things — being more disciplined AND being a better care giver to myself. It’s a balance — Both caring for Others And caring for Me.

As I lay there I thought — hey! I could mix up an exfoliating cream of virgin coconut oil and sea salt! I could soak in an epsom salts bath — maybe even once a week! HIGH LIVING! Such small and simple things. But how Life Affirming!

LIFE is such an enormous GIFT. Doing our best to live it well — that’s A High Calling!

Posted in authority over my life, Balancing and adjustments, becoming the change I wish to see, both / and, Cherishing our Bodies, clapping our hands in joy, compassion to care for myself, Needed Repair Time, recovery time, respect

Transitions, being Grumpy and You, God

Posted on April 9, 2010 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Transition Time. Photo by Pulelehua Quirk

Ah God,

Transitions are tricky — difficult. And preparing to do something really DIFFICULT — like running a marathon is particularly challenging.

Kit is running one in 11 days. We leave in just 6 days. And, I have noticed in that past that we both grow grumpier in the several weeks before the marathon. He is training hard and focused on what’s coming up. There isn’t a lot of energy left over for being cool and collected. He has an excellent excuse for being a tiny bit grumpy.

As for me — I overreact. Just like a mike too close to the speaker we set up a feedback loop. Oh my! When people are intertwined and love each other it is so easy for that to happen. I take things personally and flare. Actually, we were doing better than usual until he started to do the taxes.

Now, God, I am BLESSED! I have a husband who DOES the taxes. THATS GREAT! But the stress level has been such that last night I told him we are not ever ever going to combine doing taxes AND getting ready to go off for a marathon in the SAME WEEK. NOT EVER!

Well, yes, God. You do remind me that I am preparing for a big project, too. One that has me doing more than usual. I’m doing my share of grumpy. And, no. No, I didn’t do any centering prayer yesterday. I can feel You shaking Your Head.

I learn — but then I forget. Maybe that what Overloads are for? To help me learn to remember under STRESS? I did stop — right after You reminded me about Centering Prayer. I sat silently — wordlessly — consciously in Your Presence — and even after just a few minutes I felt much better.

Duh!

So transitions and overload are HARD because I think Time with You is expendable! In fact, for me it is often the first to go. Sigh. It is hard being a Slow Learner. I’m so thankful that You are ENCOURAGING — and FORGIVING! Thank YOU! And THANK YOU ESPECIALLY FOR KIT!

Posted in being a Slow Learner, busy, busy as an attack strategy, Centering Prayer, compassion to care for myself, Grumpy as a reminder, Humility or Needing Help!, lap time, learning, relationships, Transitions

Designing our own Dr. Seuss type pots

Posted on April 8, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The 500 hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

Good Morning, God!

What a strange juxtaposition — the 500 hats of Bartholomew Cubbins AND the pots that we find ourselves in — or put others in.

Pots and Hats? I guess, God, that it started when it occurred to me that we are probably “involved” in several pots — maybe LOTS of POTS! When I label someone — and I try not to do that — I put that person in a pot. Even a “good label” can stifle growth. Children praised by the teacher for being “SMART” often don’t want to risk their label by trying something harder — they might fail and lose their label. But children who are praised for being “A HARD WORKER” will keep on tackling hard problems and end up learning more. But back to Hats!

Gosh, God, it has been years since I read the story. I think what I loved about it as a child was how the hats got better and better! They became fantabulous Dr. Seuss hats — original and ornate to the max. I loved them!

I guess I was thinking that maybe our pots can get to be like that.

foglia oil jar Photo from Bellezza

Maybe as we outgrow an old pot we can design a Dr. Seuss type pot? I confess, God, that the pots that have been in my mind up until now have been pretty dull! They were just Black or green plastic pots — like you can buy at Longs. But now I remember Italian ceramic pots! Pots with flowers and birds and designs all over them in warm Mediterranean colors. But, of course, Dr. Seuss would do even better than that!

The JOY is in the trying! And no one is going to know how big and outlandish my pots are! Can I have more than one? Maybe not 500 — but there really aren’t limits to this — right, God? You’re not like the King in the story. You delight Yourself in us.

I can even be like the Silverswords — pulling up my roots and DANCING in the moonlight!

Posted in Abundant Life, authority over my life, beauty, Being ENJOYED by God, being repotted, Dancing -- between pots

Roots, Pots and Redesigning our lives

Posted on April 7, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The roots of a few tulip bulbs -- looking pretty eager for more room.

Hi God!

I was so happy to find an example of a plant that was root bound! Mind you, the big palms at Suz’s had more spectacular roots than these tulips. But this image is enough to give the idea.

When I was taking this photo I happened to notice the feral banyan (ficus) tree that had escaped its pot last year. I had to remove it from my garden because it kept putting roots up into the other plants’ pots. A very invasive neighbor.

The roots of a ficus that turned feral and escaped -- into other pots.

The contrast between the well mannered tulips and the assertive ficus strikes me as profound.

And it made me think about people. Some of us do sit quietly in our too small pot — our minds, or is it our Hearts — may go around and around — but we stay put.

By contrast, the Ficus Benjamina seems almost to have turned criminal. It set about getting what it needed to grow — even if it had to slip up into its neighbors’ pots to get it. It literally broke through the too small pot that sought to keep it imprisoned. I sort of admired it — even as I sawed it back and deprived it of water. Gosh, God. I hate to admit to killing it — though I suspect just a bit of water and it would revive.

All of this has made me wonder about the “criminals” in our world. Are they like my ficus? Have they turned feral to get what they want? Would an early transplant into a bigger pot have helped? Or is it a matter of a different pot altogether?

Can we seek Your Help in REDESIGNING our Pot? I think so, God. I think You WANT US TO DO THAT! Please HELP me to keep coming back to this idea, God — especially as I listen to Glimmer by Warren Berger. He has written a book about how Design Principles can be applied to redesigning lives — as well as tackling societal and environmental problems. What a delightful idea! Let’s ponder it, God!

Hmmm. Please help me APPLY it, God!

Posted in being repotted, compassion to care for myself, creativity in loving service, imagining, resourcefulness, Rethinking, self care as self compassion and humility, stopping to see, Venturing out of the shallows?, water and love

Office Overflow and Being Repotted

Posted on April 6, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tulip fields near Seattle. Photo by Ann Peters

Good Morning God,

Last night I was freaked out by Office Overflow — it isn’t a good feeling. But I remembered the “rule” I’d read about how in a state of overload — just getting two tasks done — helps. I did two and I am feeling better.

Balance vs. Overload — they are Inner States, aren’t they God.

How easy it is to get distracted by the chores and miss the opportunities to appreciate. Yesterday I had a chance to appreciate photos from the Northwest. I particularly love these tulip fields because most unexpectedly last week I got a phone call in which a friend visiting Seattle talked about the beauty of the tulips — the colors, the massed colors — in a way that made me “see” them. Actually, this friend is not a “talker” and even better than her description of the tulips was hearing her TALK about it.

Talking is SO important. Or, maybe it is being HEARD that has to come first? For years I understood how a plant that is root bound in a pot — is like a person who has a situation that hasn’t been shared. Unspoken thoughts do go around and around and around. But, after my repotting experience with Suz — I can SEE the roots. I can see how desperate they are for SPACE — ROOM — NUTRIENTS.

Being heard — especially by someone’s Heart — is like being REPOTTED. Our thoughts, once spoken and heard, can spread out — breathe, relax, and feel fed. That is how I feel, God, when I sit and chat with You — Transplanted into a bigger pot. It is a very good feeling.

And, now, God, as I go back to work on my Office Overflow — help me to stop now and then and sit in Centering Prayer — and let You repot me.

Posted in appreciation, beauty, being repotted, Centering Prayer, Office Overflow