The Joy of Flowers – Ah, But the Pain of Tossing

Posted on July 4, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Flowers in a window box in Dublin

Good Morning, God!

A Sabbath Day! Not one where everything is bright and shiny and READY — but one in which I am VERY THANKFUL for a Day of Rest. Thankful also that I am ready to receive Your Rest! Thankful that we even have lots of leftovers for dinner so that is easy, too.

Not to give myself a lot of credit, God. I can relax today because I am taking off Monday as a HOLIDAY. Although, maybe I should give myself some credit for not “going in to work”. I have my own house to “get in order”. And speaking of order, there are levels of order — I’d love to have flowers outside my house – as in this photo. I could too.

But, I don’t. Why? Partly it’s about making choices of how I spend my time and energy. Partly it’s because it is hard for me to uproot flowers that are past their prime. I have a fair number of pots of anthurium that have sailed way past raggedy. But, I look at them and see a new bloom working at emerging. How could I toss them?

Hmmm, too much RUTH! Clearly I need to love MYSELF more and my STUFF LESS! How odd, God! It feels ODD to come to You and ask for a drop more RUTHLESS in myself. Actually, as You just pointed out – RUTH refers to feeling compassion for the suffering of others – or remorse at one’s own shortcomings – NOT COMPASSION ABOUT DYING FLOWERS!

Shoot, God! If that isn’t a flagrant case of misapplying the perfectly lovely gift of compassion — there are people starving, homeless, jobless and drifting without purpose or meaning — and I’m feeling compassionate about raggedy flowers.

Sigh! I obviously need a better balance between appreciating and evaluating. I feel MUCH BETTER asking for THAT — I don’t really want to be ruthless.

Tagged with: Pairs of Opposable Virtues, The PAIN of discarding
Posted in appreciation, being planted, being repotted, blooming, Flowers, opposable virtues

White Hibiscus Flowers: Appreciated or Evaluated?

Posted on July 3, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

white hibiscus at dusk

Good Morning, God!

Kit has been going on walks with me after dinner – it is a true gift from him – as he has often run in the afternoon. I’m grateful! But, I will admit, God, that I am still surprised by the different Universes we inhabit, side by side.

A couple of evenings ago, at dusk, we set out and came across a big hibiscus bush covered in these lovely white flowers. I was delighted and pointed it out to Kit, overjoyed at how lovely it was. Aren’t they BEAUTIFUL, I asked rhetorically. They’re WHITE he said dismissively. There followed a period of mutual non-comprehension – but he finally made it clear that with COLORED hibiscus being so much MORE beautiful, he couldn’t work up any appreciation for white ones.

A spray of blossoms form a Rainbow Shower Tree

Now, God, I understand that flowers are not Kit’s thing — he does sports, and I do flowers. But, I guess, it never occurred to me that each kind of flower, each color of flower, wouldn’t be appreciated for itself — as opposed to being ranked from Top to Bottom. I mean, it wasn’t as if we had to pick out a lei and CHOOSE. We were just out for a walk — and a walk to me means seeing and appreciating.

So, God, now I’m pondering the differences between Appreciating and Evaluating. Appreciation can stand alone. Here the white hibiscus is. And I can see it’s beauty. But another way of seeing the white hibiscus is to Evaluate it — that is, see it in CONTEXT — COMPARE it with other colors and other flowers — and in Kit’s case, find it wanting.

Of course, evaluation has its uses and we probably need to do more of it. Still, God, I surely hope and pray that when You “look” at us You are more into APPRECIATION than EVALUATION!

Tagged with: The Gift of Appreciation, walking side by side in separate universes
Posted in appreciation, beauty, gender universes, perspectives

Being Aerated – Regaining Perspective – The By-Products of Prayer

Posted on July 2, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Central Union Church by the early morning light

Good Morning, God

One of my favorite times of the week, is our Central Union Church Wednesday Morning Women’s Prayer Group. As You well know, God, there is a lot of talking and a lot of laughing – as well as prayer. Marge Terpstra told us IT IS ALL PRAYER! And it is. It is a very safe place and a very REAL place. I suppose there is an almost childlike honesty / candor about our verbal free-for-all.

Childlike — I had not considered that word until one of us used it this week — but it struck me as just right. Children — who haven’t learned to try and impress others. Children — who have yet to experience being judged and found wanting. Would that the World were filled with such children!

Rewick Board Room

We meet in the Rewick Board Room — it has a huge table but it isn’t a “grand” room — it is homey and comfortable. Several years ago we discovered that all of us who come are OLDEST DAUGHTERS. I guess only oldest daughters would somehow feel “responsible” enough to rise early and go about the business of prayer. . . or as it sometimes seems — the business of urging You to DO OUR WILL. I’m Smiling — but, I confess, I sighed first. I am just a trifle embarrassed to admit that.

Mind You, God, we DO PRAISE YOU! And we DO TRUST YOU. But we would not be real or honest if we didn’t persist in pleading for You to HEAL and COMFORT and BLESS the people we pray for. We wouldn’t be real if we didn’t ask for healing and help for ourselves, too. There is no shame in being needy. The great sorrow is not to recognize that fact. As Paul has told us ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD!

This sort of being together WITH YOU and with one another aerates my soul — brings me closer to You and to Your Perspective. THANK YOU! And God, please nudge other first born daughters to come and join us!

Tagged with: aerating our souls, regaining perspective
Posted in attunement, being together in a compassionate presence, Perspective, Prayer

The Nile, Temples dug out of the sand, and each of us as God’s Temple

Posted on July 1, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

View on the Nile; painting by Thomas Seddon in Ashmolean Museum

Good Morning, God

The most wonderful book came in the mail yesterday. Letters from Egypt by Florence Nightengale — written when she was 29 years old. Imagine that, God! Ah, the wonders of the online used book market. This View of the Nile (done in 1850s) is timeless. But, other scenes of Egypt – from the same time period – made me all too aware of the ravages of time.

Portico of the Temple of Philae

In this painting you can see COLORS on the stone. Now, the artist could have made that up — or since the painting was done soon after the temple was dug out of the sand — perhaps the colors have faded in the 150 years since it was opened up.

Colored stone — especially the idea of COLORED Greek statues — shock us! Our aesthetic sensibilities were also shaken when the Sistine Chapel ceiling was cleaned and Michaelangelo’s bright colors were revealed!

Of course, as Tufte observed, it is very easy to do color badly. Still, I LOVE COLORS, God. And I love colors with Sun Light shining through them. I suspect, God, that You would love it if we humans had Your Light shining through us. Every once in a while we see that! We catch a glimpse of what YOU are calling us into.

We ARE called to be Your Temples — called to invite and welcome YOU to dwell within us. Indeed, God, Paul says to us in I Corinthians 3:16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?

Powerful words — COME Holy Spirit, PLEASE COME!

Tagged with: God's Light, God's Spirit living in us, Letting the Holy Spirit flow OUT
Posted in beauty, Colors, intentional and invited sacred space, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, Light, Light shining through, The Holy Spirit, the Light of the World, We are God's temple

Hagia Sophia and Sacred Places

Posted on June 30, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Hagia Sophia from Dr. Bolman's ahaafoundation.org site

Good Morning, God!

Wow! Is this a glorious image! Hagia Sophia built as a Byzantine Church – then turned into a mosque — and now a museum. So often churches are built on earlier holy sites. Thin Places, God? Is there something that we can’t yet measure about certain places that makes them more conducive to connecting with You? Or can continuous prayer CHANGE a site and make it more Holy? It probably works BOTH ways. Something to think about as we choose our prayer “closets”.

inside Hagia Sophia: from ahaafoundation.org

Back to Hagia Sophia, God. I’ve been in it and it is awe inspiring. I was just looking at this and other recent photos and it has been refurbished very nicely since my visit years ago. I’m glad that it has been and is being cared for.

It isn’t easy to care for what we CAN SEE. HOW MUCH HARDER it is to care for what we CAN’T SEE! I can’t see my inner Temple. I can’t get a printout on the state of my soul. There are No meter readings to tell me how I’m doing on energy inflow and output.

I noticed this first observing Caregivers – they gave and gave and by the end seemed almost worse off than the one they were caring for. It came to me, God, that they had BORROWED AGAINST THEIR INNER BANK. They had a huge loan to pay back! But, they had no quantifiable bill. No numbers. Not knowing – makes it hard to cut back energy outflow far enough – so that the Loan can be paid back!

You say WE CAN KNOW? That You HAVE given us DIALS so to speak. But we have been taught to ignore them?

I THINK I hear You saying that as we REST and RELAX and in my case DO CENTERING PRAYER we will recharge to the point where we can read our meters. May it be so, God. Help me become aware of my limits – help me journey toward humble,

Tagged with: Borrowing against our Body's Bank, Metering our Energy Outflow
Posted in Centering Prayer, humility, living within limits, recovery time, rest, sacred space

Learning HOW to enjoy a Sabbath Day

Posted on June 29, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Day, God!

It has come to me that my purpose and meaning have come from WORK for so long that a FULL DAY WITHOUT WORK leaves me feeling rudderless and listless. Yeah, I do sort of realize that is withdrawal from adrenaline — kind of — mostly — well, ALMOST realize that.
.

Really? Do You mean to say that my six days of BUSY are like six days on adrenaline? My own internal version of SPEED? I really don’t like knowing this. Please help me God to ponder this. When I was sitting in Centering Prayer I realized that I can’t SEE what is going on inside me. When YOU work in me — when I sit giving You permission to work in me — I often feel aimless. I am addicted to being productive.

YIKES! Well, I guess it is better than other addictions — but, maybe not. If it were drugs, I’d KNOW I needed to kick the habit. Shoot! I really LIKE / LOVE being productive. It is such an easy way to confirm my existence. I love feeling USEFUL.

You say, You are offering me A NEW KIND OF USEFUL! And I should PAY ATTENTION! I should. But I am going to bed.

Well, I am BACK, God. And VERY aware that the Sabbath Day of Rest is the AXIS on which the other SIX Days TURN. I have a WHY to keep the Sabbath. But my HOW is wobbly. I can see it involves STOPPING even if I am not done. I can see that my six other days need limits and boundaries.

NOW I hear that small small nudge . . . seeing isn’t FEELING. I won’t change until I FEEL the need. FEEL COMPASSION AND LOVE FOR MYSELF — AS A NEEDY PERSON.

OUCH! O.K. God, here is a NEW DAY — one of the six to BALANCE caring for myself and others. You WANT to help me. THANK YOU MOST LOVING GOD!

Tagged with: Accepting Balance, Addicted to USEFUL, Kicking the addition to being productive
Posted in A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, A weekly day of rest, Balancing and adjustments, being a Slow Learner, being together in a compassionate presence, breathing in Your Spirit, loving limits

Words of Advice – Words of Life

Posted on June 28, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Zuni coral earrings

Good Morning, God!

So, yesterday, as I was leaving a talk after church a lady stood in front of me — staring at me, but not exactly at me. I asked her, “Am I in your way”? No, she said, “I am looking at your earrings.” Then she asked me to take them off so she could see who made them. She explained that she loved Zuni jewelry. Peering at them intently she agreed with me that there was no artist’s name on the back. Then she handed them back and with a smile suggested I take a turkish towel and polish the silver.

Later I did polish them — discovering small little silver drops all around the edge of the earrings — drops I had never seen before.

Amazing! You know, God, we don’t get “interactions” like that very often. Indeed, for the last one, I have to go back to 1996 on a trip to China. I was out early walking in a spot favored by the local people. A woman came up to me and clearly indicated (without language) I was to STAND UP STRAIGHT – SHOULDERS BACK — and LIFT MY FEET HIGHTER. WOW! I was improved for quite a few minutes. And if only she lived in my neighborhood I would be much improved!

I suppose that is the purpose of spending TIME in Your Word. I almost always get an “Interaction” from the scriptures. The lectionary on Sunday was Luke 9:51-62 and had to do with the COST of Discipleship. When Jesus says FOLLOW ME and the man replies that first he needs to go bury his father — I think, OF COURSE! So, it is a shock when Jesus replies: “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

I read that and I realized, while not exactly one of the “dead”, I am not out proclaiming the Kingdom of God, either! It comes to me, God, that while I do ask to be filled with Your Holy Spirit, the Spirit comes IN in order to flow OUT — it LONGS to PROCLAIM YOUR KINGDOM!

Could we do that — softly?

Tagged with: Letting the Holy Spirit flow OUT, Proclaiming the Kingdom of God
Posted in interactions, power and peace and gentleness, The Holy Spirit

Bioluminescence, Genes, Change, GMOs and FOOD

Posted on June 27, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

not bioluminescence -- just a flash off a moon jellyfish

Good Morning, God!

For some odd reason I was thinking about bioluminescence this morning. Why? No idea! But, of course, a google search turned up lots and lots of photos — many of them, like the one here, cautioning us that it ISN’T bioluminescence! Then they went on to describe bioluminescence as COLD light. Apparently an electron gets “excited” and go up an energy level and coming back down emits a photon. Hmm. I think I have that right. Ah well, there is TONS more and UCSD has a lovely website.

A tobacco plant PLUS firefly genes

All that is all very well, God. Nature is amazing. What I feel uneasy about is this image of a tobacco plant enhanced with firefly genes. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil springs to my mind. I suppose this ought to lead me into the question of genetically modified food — GMOs. I find it odd that Europe (with a low level of religious folks) is so ANTI GMO food — while Americans (with a higher level of religiously inclined people) go blithely on EXPERIMENTING.

Way back in my mind is lodged a factoid (maybe true, maybe not) about how tomato plants with lizard genes added have been created. Lizard genes? My mind wobbles! I guess it is about FOOD. FOOD, I feel ought to stay the same! Yes, I know that the Green Revolution has fed the World. Still, I confess to having a DEEP FEAR of changing what we eat. Europe has chosen Tradition. We have chosen Change.

And I — a Lover of Technology, and all things APPLE — am concerned. God, we have taken Freedom between our teeth and are OFF. Off into the unknown. Please, God, help us as we “navigate” the Waterfalls of Change.

Tagged with: Bioluminescence, GMOs, The Waterfalls of Change
Posted in accepting my need for help, Balancing and adjustments, experimentation

Stones – the bones of civilizations – and our Hearts

Posted on June 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Hera's Temple in Poseidonia or Paestum 50 miles south of Naples

Good Morning, God!

I love stone buildings, OLD stone buildings.

Caenarvon Castle in Wales

There is something about being next to stone blocks that is satisfying. Odd. The photo at the top is from the current issue of Archaeology and is of two temples to Hera build in the 600s and 400s BC.

And it comes to me that Temples seem to be even older than castles. I still remember the thrill of standing up at the top of Caenarvon Castle in Wales — Caernarvon being 1200s. I mean, in this issue there is a story about a holy site in Mexico where the central holy stone goes back over two thousand years. Civilizations have come and gone . . . but the place has remained “sacred”.

Of course, stones aren’t just used for Sacred or for Fortification purposes. Entertainment has been important, too.

Pula Arena in Croatia

Temples, Wars/Defense, and Entertainment. Three Primary activities of Human Kind. I thought, for a moment that I had forgotten Education . . . and the old libraries DO resemble Temples . . . Hmmm. Educational institutions didn’t arrive until the Universities that sprang up after the Black Death plagues of the 1300s made the teacher / student ratio really low.

All of these images, God, seemingly linked only by the use of stones — is there a message for ME in all of this? Oh? The verse from Ezekiel 36:26 26 “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart”

Ah, YES! THAT is exactly what I need and what I WANT! Please, God, let it be as You have spoken!

Tagged with: Hearts of Flesh
Posted in asking for help for myself, attitudes, Forgiven!, Forgiving, The power of images

Climbing Beacon Rock (not me!) and Climbing Over the Rocks of Our Past

Posted on June 25, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

I haven't done this! Climbing Beacon Rock: Photo by Tom Kaser

Good Morning, God!

I don’t like heights! I am maybe not quite as scared as I used to be — back before I was taking vitamin E — but, still I couldn’t see myself climbing up this trail. Yes, it has nice bars keeping you from slipping over. I know that, God. But it takes me back to when Kit and our girls (not yet teens) were hanging over the bars looking down at NOTHING at Glacier Point in Yosemite. Bad memories.

I’m glad I’m writing this down, God, because I find myself thinking — SO LET THEM GO! How does one root memories out of our amygdala? Pray about them? Look at them WITH You there — standing by? It brings to mind Combat Veterans and abused children who have to deal with REAL post traumatic shock. How does PSTD differ from just having a terrible thing happen? (God, I actually stopped and looked this up.) One way PTSD differs is that the symptoms don’t decrease with time. Apparently there is a separation between our memories of what happened and our feelings about it. Facing and feeling memories are part of the treatment.

I wonder if a feeling of powerless is involved, God. When I was attacked in my home by a burglar – I had positive things I was able to do. After I fell down the stairs and hit my head and the burglar stood over me hitting me with a stick I cried out, “Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, HELP ME!” The third time I cried that, the stick wavered in his hand, I grabbed it and he ran out. I was ALIVE! And I began giving You, THANKS and PRAISE!

That night I called a friend who was a pastor and asked him to come and pray with / for me. Second I called a friend who did home construction and asked him to come and put bars on the windows the burglar had come through. Being able to DO SOMETHING to “keep it from happening again” was really important to me. It gave me a sense of control.

Where is all of this taking me, God? Right now, I feel MUCH more COMPASSIONATE — toward myself (I’d forgotten that incident) and toward others. We can’t see inside ourselves or others, can we, God? Please help us as individuals and as a community to focus on HEALING and HELPING — ourselves and others. And, oh yes, on PREVENTION!