Good Day, GOD
I have been in a period of Cleaning Up. And I have finally realized — accepted — that I was not shanghaied or the victim or a bait and switch. I am here on planet earth because I chose to be here. As I heard myself say the other day — I LIKE TO MAKE MY OWN MISTAKES!
SO here I am. Wading — swimming actually — in the smelly swamp of my choices. I like to think of it as a COMPOSTiNG period. Sigh! If I had realized how PAINFUL it would be to see — re-feel — the resulting mess of my choices. . . made and unmade. . . I might have made the TERRIBLE choice of choosing Planet Easy. . . or maybe Planet Fair.
But no. I am SLOW. So I was helped to chose to be on Planet Earth. I say, along with Job (13:15) Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him. And I have chosen to trust myself and my beloved daughter Patty to GOD. I said that back in 1980. And I reaffirm it NOW. And God, You help us!
Here, from Fr. Keatings book Consenting to God as God is –so nothing prevents the body — with its marvelous capacity for health — to evacuate the emotional sludge of earlier times. It does this through the flow of unwanted thoughts [in centering prayer]. Emotional junk is a block to the circulation of bodily and spiritual energies. Also blocked by undigested emotional debris is awareness of the movements of grace that activate the Fruit and Gifts of the Spirit. (p.91)
Sigh, I KNOW being BLOCKED! It is worse than opening to the help of our unconscious as it brings up — sometimes repeatedly — the emotional sludge of earlier times.
I weep. I cry out. I suffer. I repent. The boils of Job are mine. (well just eczema . . ) And I am thankful that I am helped to do this. That You are loving me enough to leave me — in this painful swamp — as I slowly choose to FEEL and RELEASE the blocks of my mistakes.
I trust YOU and I PRAISE YOU!
Story teller,
A Moment with God 
Leave a comment