Adjusting …and readjusting

Good Morning, God

This is a photo of me . . . sitting on our front patio . . . enjoying the reflections of both our back patio and the Santa Catalina mountains. It comes close to capturing the multiple facets of my life right now. The marvelous mountains to our north. The back patio with (at last) a gardenia bush! The joy of sitting in the early morning sunlight. All the while my heart hurts and yearns over my beloved Kit. Kit who is in an adjustable bed waiting for the nurse to come and change his superpubic catheter.

After a fall getting out of bed a month or so ago . . . fear has entangled him. Ah, Lord God, the demons of fear have been loosed upon our little planet. They urge me to sell our townhouse . . . NOW . . .while there are still buyers. Or is that prudence? They are surely neighbors.

And how about Fear and Me? Sigh, ITS hold has been lessoned as a Super Duper Helper has arrived on the scene and helped me let go of being totally “in charge” of everything.

It is hard to give up the illusion of being “in charge”. To accept help. To relax into letting go. To WELCOME all that comes to me today . . . because I know it is for my healing.

It is one small “adjustment” after another. Bringing me closer to You. Closer to my dear and imperfect self. As if, I could ever break free of my culture and give up the concept of perfect. Hmm, I think I read somewhere that the Greek word referred to being “responsive” . . . and perhaps that is our “JOB” to become more aware . . . more responsive . . to You . . . to one another . . . to the Greater Reality!

About a moment with god

Story teller,