Here he is, God! And he is running this morning in the Honolulu Marathon. OK, OK, You know this already. And You don’t need a photo to keep Your eye on him. That’s GOOD! Actually, I would appreciate Your help in seeing him run by at our 16 mile marker at the end of our street. I do so want some good photos.
Really, what I want is for him to finish safe and sound! There is excitement involved in his running. And I am proud of him. But, there is also a certain amount of stress. Sigh. You bring to mind women whose husbands are in Iraq or Afghanistan or maybe are police or fire fighters. This stress is pretty small and the temptation is to minimize mine. But everyone’s cup overflows and I need to appreciate and care for myself AND THEN care and appreciate for my “neighbors”. (Note to self: eating a Costco ice cream bar for dinner is not self care.) This putting myself FIRST is IMPORTANT, isn’t it? Important for long term service and compassion. Putting myself and my family first? I think of the hard time that many preacher’s kids have — and it seems missionary kids, too. Is it hard to see YOU as present, when the parents are “absent”?
I suppose, God, that BOTH AND is sort of advanced? I mean, it is so easy to fall off into EITHER this OR that — Me ME ME or endless self sacrifice that burns people out AND burns out and up those around them. Yes, it isn’t easy. But it is well worth learning. Sandy was talking about the problem with the word TRYING (which we use when we don’t fully plan on doing something). Maybe learning is a better word? To me it means I expect to fail repeatedly but that I am committed to persisting until I am doing it. And that reminds me that my tea is waiting for me. Ah, just hot enough! Where I was going — or meandering toward — is the idea that we need help. I still don’t have a Spiritual Director. Although I am seeing Mavis and it is a real help to hear myself talk and talk — and ask or be asked an occasional question. Now here is a question from You — have you ACCEPTED that you need help? Or is needing help still vaguely shameful and embarrassing? GET OVER IT! ASK FOR HELP, AND ASK FOR YOURSELF! Yes, God, that DOES sound as if it comes from YOU! Thus begins, or continues . . . humility . . . thank YOU!

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