Charging Elephants and small snakelike fears

Posted on February 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Elephant charging our Land Rover in Swaziland

Good Morning, God.

When this elephant charged our Land Rover I was TERRIFIED! I was sitting in the back — therefore the CLOSEST. There were 2 or 3 seconds in which he was gaining on us — LONG SECONDS — then we pulled away.

Fear like that is easy to identify. You know it. And after it’s over there is almost hysterical relief. Once we were safe we laughed and laughed.

But a couple of years ago, God, You began to show me that there were HIDDEN FEARS in my life. Fears I wasn’t conscious of.

I remember asking You, God, HOW am I supposed to find them WHEN THEY ARE HIDDEN? You suggested I write down all the things I THOUGHT I WANTED TO DO, BUT HADN’T DONE — then pray about what FEAR might be holding me back.

There at the top was LOOSING WEIGHT! I thought, WHAT’S SCARY ABOUT THAT! But I did pray — and You revealed my fear of being different. Because to CHANGE what I ate — to avoid grains — would make me different. Now, God! You MADE us DIFFERENT. I THINK I like being different.

But, as I sat and prayed, I could feel the deep childhood fear of being odd — an outcast – different and ejected from the “group.” It was an OLD DEEP HIDDEN FEAR — and it IS STILL POWERFUL!

But becoming AWARE of it — helped me to PRAY about it — to LAUGH about it. And, I lost weight. NOW I hear You telling me — GO BACK TO THE LIST! Let’s FIND THE NEXT CLUMP OF SMALL SNAKELIKE FEARS HIDING UNDER THE ROCK OF CONSCIOUSNESS — ENTANGLING FEARS!

You really do WANT TO SET ME FREE – ALL OF US FREE! Thank YOU — THANK You.

Posted in acknowledging my need for prayer, authority over my life, courage to see myself, finding hidden fears, small hidden fears

Personal Checklists — coming soon

Posted on February 25, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande

Good Morning God,

I was caught by this title — kept thinking about it. But then told myself — HOW MUCH could there be to learn about CHECKLISTS! Still, (with You helping?) I did buy and read it and I’m so glad I did. The book is about WHY we need checklists and HOW HARD it is to accept and adopt them.

The book got started when the World Health Organization called Dr. Gawande and asked him to help reduce the unnecessary deaths and complications in surgery around the world.

How to do this? They did it by finding the most common mistakes or missed steps and created a checklist to confirm they were done. The author and his team came up with a 19 point (90 second) checklist and implemented it in eight hospitals around the world. It was overwhelmingly successful. Major complications fell in all eight hospitals by 36% and deaths fell by 47%. Did hospitals rush to adopt checklists?

Of course not. Change is hard. And change that looks like giving up freedom is even harder – even for 90 seconds. There’s a lot of resistance. I feel both the need and the resistance . I’m no surgeon but modern life is complex — I’d like to drop fewer balls and forget fewer things.

So, I’m working on a few daily Personal Checklists. Things to do before bed. Things to do before leaving home. Then weekly checklists on finances and time management. If I’m smart, God, I’ll show them to friends and ask for feedback.

Habits? Rituals? Checklists? There’s a continuum here, God. And if I want to take it up a notch I can reframe Your Ten Commandments as a CHECKLIST! How many major complications would I avoid if I really took one day a week totally off? Keeping that ONE commandment would help me keep all the rest.

In all of this I would need to ASK and ACCEPT Your help to set new boundaries — to rearrange what I do and when I do it. I would, in short, have to come humbly before You and submit not just my Very Self, but (GASP!) MY EVERYDAY LIFE!

You Love us enough to WANT to be in the Daily Details of our lives, don’t You! YES. YES, GOD, YES!

Posted in A weekly day of rest, Personal Checklists, The difficulty of changing

Hedgehogs and Mother Teresa

Posted on February 24, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a young hedgehog

Good Morning, God

I’ve never seen a real hedgehog and I think this is the first photo of a hedgehog that I’ve seen. One look at his adorable little face and I was more than ready to donate to a Hedgehog Preservation Fund. Is there one of those?

But it does remind me that ONE animal or ONE person seems to fit easily into our compassion basket. But, more than one — even two who need help — and the the urge to give goes down. We give – we care – on a sort of one to one basis.

This idea came to me via an article by Nicholas Kristof. I recognized the truth of it immediately. A BIG number overwhelms us. We want to make a difference — and when it is ONE of us vs. MILLIONS of people needing help — we shut down.

The article is titled “Nicholas Kristof’s Advice for Saving the World” and he starts by saying: What would happen if aid organizations and other philanthropists embraced the dark arts of marketing spin and psychological persuasion used on Madison Avenue? We’d save millions more lives.

Well, that caught my eye because just yesterday I was helping prepare brochures for Advocates for Africa’s Children ( afachildren.org ) and I observed that a FACE attracted my attention far more than a group shot. Now God, You clearly designed us to CARE for one another! Perhaps we just need to adjust our focus? Mother Teresa said, “If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.”

So, God, help us to see One by One — as through Your Eyes. Bless those who help One by One — as though it was YOU. “For as you have done it unto the most unfortunate of your brothers and sisters — you have done it unto Me.”

Posted in Advocates for Africa's Children, Giving, Our Extended Family - all creatures great and small

Waking up in the Web of Life

Posted on February 23, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Large Blue Butterfly Photo: Cornwall Butterfly Conservation

Ah, God, how amazing is this one small planet we call home!

My Discover magazine came yesterday and there in the front was a photo of a Large Blue Butterfly (yes, that is its name) and a short story about how it had bounced back from near extinction.

That’s nice, I thought. But then I read that the reason they had made a comeback was because the researchers discovered that species spends part of its life cycle in a red ant nest — and the red ants hadn’t been doing well. So, the researchers adjusted the vegetation to help the red ants and VOILA! The Large Blue Butterfly returned.

Now, God, I know that Everything is connected to Everything else. I know that intellectually. But, then I read this small story and WOW! My awareness — my awe — at the incredible Web of Life just deepened.

And, much to my surprise, that means — I MATTER! And better yet — WE ALL MATTER! If a small change to vegetation can help red ants and thus bring back a beautiful butterfly — well then, our actions, our thoughts, our intentions change things. THAT’S SCARY, GOD!

And, I guess, it ought to be scary. Please, God, Scare me AWAKE! Help me to RISK a bit more. Help me to overcome the cultural imperative to BLEND IN — AVOID NOTICE!

We humans feel so much safer thinking and acting as if we don’t matter. Please help us – me – to wake up to our interconnected reality!

Posted in an invitation to abundant life, connecting, connections, Help me to see, interactivity, Our Extended Family - all creatures great and small, relationships

The Concept of the Commons

Posted on February 22, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

The Library at Wolfenbuttel, Germany

Good Morning, God.
I met some good people last week to discuss what we might have for the library at 15 Craigside. It will be attractive, but primarily functional.

Ah, it has been a number of centuries since we spent this kind of money on libraries.

Money used to go to libraries, train stations, civic monuments like Congress. Where does our money go now? Hospitals? Hotels? It goes to what a society values – – or what the wealthy value. Big homes? I say “wealthy” as if I weren’t. Yet one has only to travel just a bit outside of the West to realize we middle-class American’s are all wealthy. The trouble is — we spend more than we earn. Well, I spend more than I earn. Ah, God, it is SO EASY to be enthralled by the products of this world — iPods, iPads, a delightful array of Stuff and Books! Although, I DO check the library first before buying.

I do try to recycle books back to the library. I say, God, The Library is a Commons — a shared resource — open to all, benefiting all. There aren’t a lot of COMMONS anymore. Well, not commons in the sense of grasslands where the villagers grazed their sheep. But, parks — national parks — are a recent version of the Commons. Land set aside for the benefit of all.

I’m sitting here smiling, God. What if we managed to see, envision, manage our small planet as a COMMONS? For the benefit of all? How could we reward the “hard workers”, the “innovative” the “risk takers”. . . how could we care for the “dreamers”, the “creative” the “gentle and quiet ones”? The drug damaged? The abused? The impaired?

Could that happen? Ah God, these moments with You always seem to get back to me — How shall I become the change I wish to see? Or the change YOU wish to see?

Posted in a new view of Commons

A Universe Filled with Golden Light

Posted on February 21, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Spire at Central Union Church with kiawe tree

Good Morning God! A Day of REST! And it will be just that for me. I am “canceling” my day, so to speak. Smile.

YOU are in charge of the UNIVERSE and even my small corner (yes, I tend to see it as MINE) is YOURS. Not mine. YOURS.

And, this is a difficult perspective for RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE. It doesn’t mean we aren’t called to “be helpful” and “caring”, and to “work hard”. It just means THE FUTURE OF THE WORLD ISN’T ON OUR SHOULDERS.

Did I EVER imagine it was? No, not imagine — it just felt that way — way down deep. And that is exhausting. . . draining even — so we are too tired to respond to the little nudges You give us — and thus don’t add our kind word or hug to the ongoing work of Your Kingdom.

So, God, yesterday this became clearer. I’d gotten a note about going to a Hawaii Centering Prayer Silent Retreat in 2011 –I’d gone in 1995 so I responded with JOY! And what with one thing and another that lead me to attending a Centering Prayer Gathering at CUC yesterday. And, I FINALLY GOT IT! I mean, I LOVE WORDS! But YOU mostly WORK IN SILENCE! So I sat and welcomed YOU in and did my best to say YES and to gently release the Busy Brain’s thoughts. It was like actually offering myself on the altar to have my Mind TRANSFORMED. And the time flowed by . . . effortlessly.

Then, afterwards, a friend showed me the Spire and kiawe tree through her GOLD tinted sunglasses. And the tree shone with Golden Light. I wondered if maybe this is closer to how it really is? Maybe Your Universe, really IS filled with GOLDEN LIGHT!

I think it is. And THANK YOU for a chance to SEE it. And thank You, too, God for a Day of Rest.

Posted in A weekly day of rest, God wants to nourishes us, God's Time, humility, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, Light, Light shining through, Perspective

Out of my Thicket and into Your Light

Posted on February 20, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

a Thicket of palms

Good Morning God,
Yes, yes, I seem to have overdone, again. I am currently sitting in a Profusion of Papers. The papers could be straightened up in a few minutes. Well, picked up and piled.

And, it IS TRUE, they do distract me from my moment with you. But, I am off this morning to a Centering Prayer gathering at Central Union. I am going to SIT in SILENCE and ask YOU to sort out the THICKET of THOUGHTS in my mind . . . and, I hear You point out — in my heart.

The purpose is to make room for You. Set aside Protected Time for YOU.

It is OH so EASY for the Good to Squeeze out the Best . . . to squeeze You out, God.
You say COME UNTO ME, ALL YOU WHO ARE HEAVY LADDEN AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.

So this morning — at 9:00 a.m. — I am coming. Willing to let the flow of words and thoughts — which I love SO MUCH — recede. To focus, not on the thicket of palms but on the LIGHT that gives them LIFE.

And now, back into Chronos and Timelines and the last bite of scrambled eggs and shower before driving off. THANK YOU, GOD FOR PROTECTED TIMES!

Posted in Light, Light shining through, Perspective, processing on deeper levels, recovery time, stopping

Precious AND FREE!

Posted on February 19, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Hereford Cathedral Chained Library

Good Morning, God.

I’ve been in this library — I even took a photo myself — but it was predigital and lost to me. This photo gives me the feeling that the books are CHAINED like prisoners.

When I was there — it was clear that these books were so precious, so valued, that the were chained to the shelves to keep them safe.

Two different ways of seeing the same reality. I suppose women kept in a harem could be looked from either point of view. Prisoners or Protected?

We are all of us chained, God. Chained to our culture – family viewpoints, community viewpoints, country viewpoints and values. And since this has been the way it is from our birth — we don’t notice. It takes a trip abroad or having a friend with different viewpoints to let us see that we aren’t totally free from our upbringing. But seeing isn’t becoming unchained, is it.

As I look at this photo — and imagine people in the place of the books — I am utterly convinced that YOU want us FREE! No one values us more than YOU DO. WE ARE PRECIOUS TO YOU! PRECIOUS AND FREE. Gosh, if only we had as much compassion for ourselves as You have for us!

You don’t want us to suffer from guilt — YOU LONG TO FORGIVE US! We just have to ask You — and humbly accept. You LONG to give us LIFE and LIFE ABUNDANT.

Help us, here, God. Please Help US ALL!!!!

Posted in asking for and accepting forgiveness, compassion to care for myself

Opportunities for God’s Grace

Posted on February 18, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Oscar Romero
Bishop and Martyr
1917–1980

Ah God, now here is a man after Your own Heart. He was the archbishop of San Salvador — who spoke out for the poor and oppressed — and was assassinated while offering mass on March 24, 1980.

The poster is for sale ($5) on Orbis Books and came to me via maryknollsocietymail.org. Here is a short reflection by him.

A Reflection by Oscar Romero
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us. We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between “master” builder and the worker. We are the workers, not the master builder; the ministers, not the Messiah. We are prophets of a future that is not our own.
Archbishop Oscar Romero

Lent does seem like a really good time, God, to look at how You have filled and activated some of Your more remarkable children. We are ALL CALLED AND ENABLED TO DO SOMETHING! I like to think that it isn’t about doing something BIG — it isn’t even about SUCCEEDING. It is about RESPONDING to YOUR SPIRIT as our brother, Oscar, did. Thank You, God for allowing us to be a tiny part of Your “Magnificent Enterprise.”

Posted in Archbishop Oscar Romero, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, responding to God's Spirit

Pondering Lent – Choosing the Hard

Posted on February 17, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A tall cactus "family" at Kapiolani Community College

Good Morning God, IT’S ASH WEDNESDAY! The start of Lent. The season in which we try to enter into to a closer relationship with you.

Traditionally, we do this by giving up something. My husband (lovingly referred to as Pope Kit by a friend) really gets into the GIVE IT UP mindset. I think it must be the Scots heritage out of New England. Let’s see, no alcohol, no caffeine, no sugar containing desserts — and I accompany him on this journey. Although, I did “strike back” this year by pointing out HE should also give up the morning TV business news (cacophony!) Much to my DELIGHT he agreed.

But, I personally don’t hold with the minor deprivation theory . . . is this suffering along with Jesus . . . I don’t think so, God. I mean, wanting to become closer to YOU ought to involve OBEYING with ABANDON! Wild GIVING! Outrageous FORGIVING! That would certainly turn Lent on its head.

Giving up chocolate (although, I am) seems to be one end of a continuum that ends with Thomas Becket and his hair shirt . . . self flaggellation and stuff like that at the far end. Voluntary suffering seems somehow to miss the goal of being remade.

Ah, but the voluntary embracing of HARD . . . now that makes sense to me as a useful exercise. So, perhaps, if I look at it that way — it won’t seem so much like embracing cacti!

Please, God, help me TRUST YOU enough to OBEY YOU. And for me what is REALLY HARD, isn’t the chocolate — it is SETTING ASIDE A DAY OF REST. Funny, isn’t it, how addicted our world is to BUSY! Or maybe sad is a better word. Help us ALL, O God, PLEASE.

Posted in busy, cacti, choosing HARD, pondering the purpose of Lent