On Becoming More Resilient — Part 2

Posted on September 2, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life

Good Morning, God!

I enjoy reading books like the one above. This week the lectionary included Deteronomy 30:15-20. This is where Moses says “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curse. Chose life so that you and your descendants may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and holding fast to him . . .” Choices — Free Will — if only we knew how much power lies in our choosing.

It was Nietzsche who said “He who has a good WHY to live for can bear with almost any HOW.” You, God, have given us the freedom and power to make choices. Choosing YOU — choosing to Trust You and Trust Your Commands — that’s the foundational choice.

But there are other choices that we rarely think about — like Dr. Chaney’s Resilience Prescriptions. 5) is develop acceptance and cognitive flexibility, meaning the ability to learn and adapt your knowledge and thinking to new situations. Such a sentence — I guess it means, when your world turns upside down DEAL WITH IT! Best to get help to deal with it, says I.

6) is face your fears and learn to control negative emotions. Yes, God. It takes more energy to hide from fear than to face it. But, I can’t help thinking that these two “prescriptions” involve a whole life’s work. 7) Build active coping skills to handle your problems. Yes, we have problems. And there ARE skill sets we can acquire to help us. Again, God, hard work!

8) Establish a supportive social network to help you. 9) Stay physically fit 10) Laugh as much as you can. Aaah! Now those, God, I can understand RIGHT AWAY. Those I GET!

Now I’m off to join my supportive social network! THANK YOU, GOD!

Posted in asking for help for myself, Balancing and adjustments, choices, resiliency, resourcefulness, social support networks

On Becoming More Resilient

Posted on September 1, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Dr. Dennis Charney -- expert in resilience

Good Morning, God!

So, imagine, God, yesterday I found 10 tips to become more RESILIENT. I found them in a book called, The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life by Ben Sherwood. In the book he talks about what Dr. Dennis Charney has to say about becoming more resilient.

As I was coughing and hacking away, I thought — THANK YOU GOD — I need this. The first one 1) is be / or become optimistic. Not OVERLY optimistic — we have to confront reality, but we don’t have to give up our optimism and hope! 2) Identify a Resilient Role Model — choose one who inspires you. Role models are great — they expand our boundaries of what humans can be and do. 3) Develop a moral compass and unbreakable beliefs. Guess what, God. Resilient people find strength in YOU. And having ideals and principles greater than we are, that helps too.

That third point is making me think, God. A few days ago I came across a verse in I Corinthians 14:3 that really helped me understand what Saint Paul meant when he talked about “prophecy”. He clearly says we should desire the Spiritual Gifts, especially PROPHECY. Then in verse 3 he explains what he means by prophecy when he says “But everyone who prophesies speaks to men [and women] for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort”. Wow! Now THAT is what our world needs MORE of, God.

It came to me that when some people get sick or fall on tough times they think YOU are punishing them. Now, that thought does not promote resilience. How much more helpful it would be they were strengthened, encouraged and comforted by their belief in You!

Then 4) is practice altruism. Helping others can help us feel better in tough times. How true is THAT! Hmmm. It looks like tips 5-10 will have to wait for another day. Meanwhile, today God, please help me speak words of encouragement!

Tagged with: How good it is to speak words of encouragement
Posted in encourage and comfort, reframing, resiliency, words to strengthen

Happy Birthday, Patty!

Posted on August 31, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Patty at her Uncle David's home

Good Morning, God!

Today is Patty’s Birthday! Let’s see, she would be 48 today. Only, up there with You, she might still be 18? Or do we somehow become our True Self — outside of Time? Now THAT’s a lovely thought.

Acceptance is a slow slow process. As The Mother, I shall always “feel” as if — as the Builder or Compiler — I was missing nutrients or failed in some way to do an adequate job — thus the cancer. Is that Excessive Personal Responsibility, God. Or just a fact to absorb and process and deal with? Or, both?

This morning I am willing to accept my part in all of this — peacefully — although, perhaps my cold and coughing represent a residual residue, wanting to be removed. Still, I am forgiven. And, I have, mostly, forgiven myself.

And now I look at this photo of Patty — enjoying frozen yogurt — and smile. I am THANKFUL!

How fortunate we were to have had Patty for 18 years. To have been given the GIFT and RESPONSIBILITY of CHILDREN! Three extraordinary daughters. Your Children, as am I. As we ALL are.

Recently, God, I have become much more aware of Your Desire to NOURISH us. We do so need Your Spirit to care for us — helping us to forgive — to remove toxins. Helping us to OPEN to Your LOVE and then helping us to let Your Love flow through us to others. We err in just calling You Father. YOU WHO ARE THE COMPLETE PARENT and MORE — FAR MORE.

But, back to the point I wanted to make! IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. YOU are always DESIRING to FORGIVE us, to REDEEM us and to LOVE us! Thank YOU!

Posted in gifts and giftings, God wants to nourishes us, going THROUGH the sorrow, gratitude, LOVE

At Home — Hovering between OFF and SLOW

Posted on August 30, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

An orchid in my kitchen

Good Morning, God!

Here I am, curled up in my bed — occasionally coughing — and SO THANKFUL that I had the wit (read: humility) to cancel all my Monday appointments. Doing that was a big deal. Somehow, I take my “showing up as promised” way too seriously. I mean, would anyone WANT to be around me with my coughing and nose blowing?

Still, a commitment IS a commitment! Except, You point out, for the commitments I make to me and to You. Yes, God. That is true.

I guess I feel that You and I will understand and forgive. AND OTHERS WON’T? Hmmm. What springs to mind is the Anglo Saxon shield wall. Warriors standing side by side — together — protecting each other while resisting the onslaught of the enemy. Your colleagues on either side DEPENDED ON YOU. You had to hold your place — hold your section of ground. And if you were wounded? You fought on — as best you could — and never ever complained.

Yes! That is it! That is the WASP / Warrior genome. Shoot! I’ve been BRED to this! I feel like some sort of dog — bred to point or retrieve. Dang! I feel proud, foolish, and helpless all at the same time! A prisoner of a thousand years of breeding.

Ah, but God! You wait, every day, for us to be about the business of BECOMING — becoming New Creatures in Christ.

I’m lying here — aware of how much You long to help us grow — grow even out of our cultural virtues. But, let’s be honest here. It is that picking-up-my-CROSS thing. I don’t even like having a cold.

So? Being part of a Shield Wall — dying quietly while fighting on — that’s OK. But some new or unexpected “cross” scares me? How humiliating! How human. Oh me of little faith or trust — PLEASE GOD, HELP ME TRUST YOU!

Posted in accepting my need for help, an invitation to abundant life, asking for help for myself, Balancing and adjustments, changing who I want to become, choices, Trusting God

What Women Want – The Lady Ragnell Story and Respect

Posted on August 29, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God!

This morning I wanted to talk to You about RESPECTING OTHERS as opposed to LABELING OTHERS. This, God, is what comes of thinking. Or maybe it is what comes of shaking bits of information together as if the Mind were a Kaleidoscope? But, somehow, what came up was the old story of Lady Ragnell.

Hmmm. Why might that be? But, on to the story which is set in the Era of Chivalry. In the story King Arthur (unarmed) is confronted by Sir Gromer and offered the Choice of immediate DEATH or death one year later if he fails to answer the question: WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

King Arthur and his nephew Sir Gwain scour the countryside asking women want they want. But no answer rings true. Then a HAG offers to give King Arthur the answer IF Sir Gwain will agree to marry her. Noble Sir Gwain agrees at once. The correct answer is Sovereignty. Or, as it was defined in Midieval Times as “the right and capability of individuals to make their own choices in life”.

The answer saves King Arthur’s life and Sir Gwain marries Lady Ragnell. In the bridal chamber she asks for a kiss and upon receiving it the enchantment snaps and she stands as her true and beautiful self. But, then she tells Sir Gwain that it is only HALF broken. She must be a HAG for half the day — either day with others — or night, with him. She asks him to choose. AMAZINGLY he replies that this MOST affects her and THE CHOICE IS HERS.

Ta DUM! Now the spell is completely broken. Her husband has granted her sovereignty and she is free to be herself ALL THE TIME. Free to CHOOSE!

DUH! THAT, God, is what You have given to us. CHOICE. Now that is RESPECT — that is LOVE! And, do I hear You ask me to extend it to others as their right?

Posted in choices, Expand my Heart, freedom, gender universes, respect

A Cat Concerned for Other Cats?

Posted on August 28, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Christopher the Cat

Good Morning, God!

It’s funny, God, what appears on my Mind’s Eye when I go to select a photo. Each day has thousands of “images” of which I have “captured” maybe 10 or 12. I LOVE taking photos. It helps me see.

But some images come in through the flow of electronic images — like this one of Christopher the Cat. Suz sent the photo and the story to my Mom — a story about a cat that has the “gift” of caring for other cats.

Now, God, I LIKE cats. But, they are NOT the concerned-for-other-creatures that DOGS are. So, when I read this story about Christopher who helped feral kittens become tame and licked and cleaned the fur of terminally ill cats — I was really touched.

I guess I was thinking of being concerned-for-other-creatures as a HUMAN gift. Now, I’m thinking, did You design this in to all species? Seeing it show up in a cat — no offense, cats — is humbling.

Hmmm. Humbling and CHALLENGING! I don’t want to be “shown up” by a cat. So, what can I do? LOVE PEOPLE. SEE PEOPLE. HEAR PEOPLE. ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR EXISTENCE AND VALUE AS YOUR CHILDREN.

Yes, God. Yes.

Tagged with: On being a-concerned-for-other-creatures Being
Posted in connections, growing toward up, Hearing, inner paths of the heart, interactions, interspecies contact

FREE HUGS and GOD’s FREE BLESSINGS

Posted on August 27, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Kit holding up our Free Hugs sign

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was an exciting morning! Kit was doing the “Inspiration” at his Metro Rotary Club and I had been enlisted to make the FREE HUGS signs and to join him in offering hugs after the meeting. It all started when a friend from the Advertiser emailed him a link to a youtube video of the Free Hugs event in Sondrio, Italy. Kit loved it!

I loved it! How could anyone NOT love it, God? So the idea came to Kit to tell about it when he next gave the “Inspiration” at his Rotary Club . He even bought small hearts that folks could put on their name badges — to indicate that they were willing to receive hugs. It went well and after the meeting we hugged most of the members. The few who walked by us made me sort of sad. Not that I was rejected — but that they didn’t take the time to receive the Gift of Touch.

Sigh. Of course, YOU have loads of gifts that we don’t take the time to receive. What? We don’t feel we NEED them? Oops! I hear You say SKIP THE PURAL WE — CHANGE IT TO I. More sighs. Yeah, You are right. I KNOW You have Gifts and Blessings and Healings for ME. But, I’d rather clean my office or WHAT?

You say I am afraid of change — afraid of being different than I am. Hmmm. I just caught a glimpse of the thousands of little social fears enmeshing me — telling me to ACT NORMAL! GO ALONG! DON’T ROCK THE BOAT. DON’T ATTRACT ATTENTION.

That’s pretty primal, God! And pretty DUMB, too! Please help me today to keep pausing and receiving the gift of YOUR FREE HUG!

Tagged with: God longs to give us Hugs
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, accepting gifts sight unseen, fears, gifts and giftings, God wants to nourishes us, gratitude, Venturing out of the shallows?

A Role Model and A Joy

Posted on August 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Marjorie the First, my mother at 95

Good Morning, God!

Thank You, God, for my wonderful mother! I appreciate her more every day. A couple of days ago she left a message on my cell phone. Mind You, God, she never calls, so when I see a voice message from her, I worry. She said, “Margie, my computer has died. It’s DEAD. You have to go down to the Apple store this afternoon and buy me a NEW ONE! I cannot live without a computer!”

Well, it was just trouble with the cable company and it fixed itself. But, I was SO IMPRESSED by her connection to the computer! Then just yesterday she said something to the effect that she’d been upset all day. When I asked WHY? She said, “I just don’t want to go so soon — just when things are so interesting.” God, I assured her she could make it to 100. I hope You agree!

Mom has always been a marvelous listener — a gene she got from her father — and she is also a gifted appreciator. She is a joy to be with. The other day she asked me if I could find her reading glasses which apparently had been missing for a few days. She said, “I had to learn to read without them.” She doesn’t have hearing aids — we just have to get her ear wax vacuumed out every three months. She does complain about being dizzy and just not “waking up!” But then last week she came from behind in Scrabble to beat me 376 to 375.

I tell her “Mom! You just can’t complain about being out of it when you beat me!” Please, God, help me do that well at her age. Hopefully, I’ve got TIME to get good!

Tagged with: The Blessing of a Loving Mother
Posted in appreciation, LOVE, Mothers and Fathers, role models

No, I didn’t eat Chicken for dinner

Posted on August 25, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Dinner at Kincaids restaurant

Good Morning, God!

Last night I was out to dinner and, no, I didn’t order chicken. I’ve been watching Michael Pollan interviewed on 360 video. It’s on the last 8 minutes of this link. Aurgh! All these poor chickens, raised in tiny spaces, debeaked, and fed grain. In conditions like that it’s no wonder they grow resistant bacteria. And all of this so that we can “eat cheap” and grow fat.

Meanwhile, we are laughing at the Europeans for being afraid of GMO food. AURGH! God, where are our Your Rules concerning FOOD? Golly, what do the Orthodox Rabbis say about all for this? Can you raise a KOSHER CHICKEN in an INDUSTRIAL FOOD FACTORY?

The Omnivore's Dilemma

I feel like Chicken Little — saying Help, HELP! The SKY is falling! Only, of course, it all plays out so slowly that no one notices. Slow motion disasters will do that. They give us time to adjust and adapt. Mostly, God, adapting is a gift. But, some things, we shouldn’t adapt to.

The Industrial Food Factories have only been around since the 1970s. And apparently big “million egg” producers can get away with safety violations. Pay a small fine — do an occasional recall — and keep on doing what will make the most money.

Hmmm. I read about this in Michael Pollan’s book, the Omnivore’s Dilemma Ah, but that was words — this was photos — images roosting in my mind — pecking away at me, hoping for MORE CHANGES.

Sigh, I still go out to eat. But at home we eat grass fed beef. And normally we just don’t eat chicken because I’m not too sure about free range. Wild fish we eat. And I buy organic or local vegetables — except when I shop at Costco. I wish, God, that CHANGE wasn’t quite so hard. Please help us.

Tagged with: Can you raise kosher chicken in industrial food factories?
Posted in a hand up, a series of molts and upgrades, Cherishing our Bodies, Eating for health, food questions, traditional food patterns

Clouds, Expectations, Delights and Disappointments

Posted on August 24, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Moon amidst Clouds in early A.M.

Good Morning, God!

I got up at 2:30 a.m. this morning to have another try at the photographing the elusive moon — persistence passing acceptance on the fly.

Here it is, WITH surrounding clouds!

Of course, God, the moon was there while Kit and I dined last night at the Shack. It was just hidden by clouds. Reminding me of how the Clouds of Fear and Doubt keep us from “seeing” You.

Koko Crater and a rainbow

The other thought is that often our focus on our expectations causes us to miss or undervalue the rest of this wonderful world. Thanks to Kit, I didn’t miss this almost full rainbow that appeared during dinner. It was truly a DELIGHT! No, it wasn’t the moon which I was waiting for — it was something unpredictable — a gift available to those willing to receive.

Not seeing the moon was a disappointment that was put into perspective by a phone call at the end of dinner. A dear friend called to say that her daughter had ovarian cancer. WHAT PAIN!

Illness, God, is huge cloud — a STORM — and it blots out the sunlight. We get wet, we shiver, we fear, we get blown about. How much more we need to hold Your Hand — to know we are not alone — to know we are valued and loved. For that, God, You gave us friends. Friends who Hold On to You and one another.