Being HEARD into Speaking

Posted on October 12, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Traveling with Pomegranates

Good Morning, God!

This is Part 4 of my multifaceted Trip! This is the Part where I am not just Tutu but Mother and Mother-in-law — the Belle Mama. And, as is always the case with more “roles” the interactions become more complex. Now, God, I don’t like the word ROLE as it makes it sound scripted and artificial.

Actually, the RELATIONSHIP of Mother / Daughter is incredibly rich and deep and I suspect my conscious mind is 98% unaware of what is going on at any point in time. Yes, God, it is just as well (read: darned good thing) that Kit is not here too. My Husband / Wife relationship would multiply the complexity.

So, God, it is not too surprising that when I was in the bookstore the other day I was drawn to Sue Monk Kidd’s book — written with her daughter — Traveling with Pomegranates. I bought it on Kindle and am now through the first third. That ends with the Daughter sharing her grief and depression with her Mother. That is SO IMPORTANT, GOD! And yet, it is SO HARD to do.

I remember a dear aunt confiding that the reason she had stayed WAY TOO LONG in an abusive marriage was because her mother had taught her that we DO NOT AIR OUR DIRTY LINEN IN PUBLIC. Finally, she had a daugher-in-law that HEARD HER into speaking. And speaking was the start of the turn that allowed her to stand up for herself. But by that time she was too full of past hurts to be able to start over.

Speaking — hearing the words come out of our mouth — has great power. Silence is the Great Jailor. Help us, all, God, to take our turn at being Your EARS in this world — HEARiNG those around us into SPEAKING.

Tagged with: Silence is the Great Jailor
Posted in connections, daughters, Hearing, listening, LOVE

Front Doors, Inner Doors and Open Doors

Posted on October 11, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sandy and Dave's Front Door

Good Morning, God!

HUZZAH! The beloved Parents have returned! And I am back to adjunct status! No more setting an alarm for 5:30 to make sure all gets done in good order. No more responsibility! But, it has been a precious time of being with my grandsons. Ian was appreciative and almost uniformly pleasant. Mark and I bickered and laughed as he tried to get me up-to-speed via critiques. Aaah, how far short we fall. How different our worlds.

Spending Time together — it was just over a week — opens our inner doors. We can’t really stay in the “Living Room” we reserve for Company that long. And so we become “known” even as we “know.” Our “essential” self peaks — and sometimes ROARS — out.

Now, God, I feel I love them more fully — knowing more seems to lead to loving more. I told Ian the other day that he was “Perfect” and by that I meant “Lacking Nothing Essential.” I know, God, that is not the common definition. But I love it! We humans can be crippled and twisted and sometimes demonic — but we have an essential core that lacks nothing — that can be healed and redeemed.

Somehow, seeing that ESSENTIAL CORE makes it possible to Respect one another as Humans. And RESPECT is one of the best “door openers.” Gosh, God, that reminds me of a fascinating article on how Slobodan Milosevic was brought down by the non-violoent Otpor movement. They made it a point to bring cakes and flowers to the police! One of the leaders, Srdja Popovic, said, “Once you understand that “policemen are just men in a police uniforms” your perception changes and persuasion takes place.”

Aaah, God, You command us to LOVE our enemies. Yet we fear and doubt. But, once again, YOU ARE RIGHT!

Posted in appreciation, being together in a compassionate presence, doors and doorways, LOVE, Perspective, respect, responsibility

A “Perfect” Crescent Moon and A Band Competition

Posted on October 10, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Stopped at a Red Light I try to capture the crescent moon

Good Morning, God!

Sandy arrives HOME this afternoon. Ian called her in Australia — in distress — and Mark called having gotten her email saying their flight left in two hours so they could be called before then. Ian’s distress was helped by a plate of spaghetti — I feel my sole contribution has been food.

Then I set out to go off past Oro Valley to watch Mark’s band perform in a Tucson-wide Band Competition. Did they HAVE band competitions, God, when our girls played in marching bands? Ah well, they do now. Here are the categories upon which they are judged: · Auxiliary · Percussion · Visual Performance · General Effect · Music Performance. Mark tells they have professional band judges. Amazing, God, how many subjects have Experts.

I suppose the more one knows — the more nuanced ones appreciation becomes. Still, in Mark’s mind it was summed up by “We didn’t WIN!” Ah, the American Viewpoint. Or perhaps, God, the Human Viewpoint?” However, their “Excellent” was the highest any band received. Mark responded with “Yeah, 20 other bands got that, too!”

And that brings me back to the story about PERFECT! I gave Ian a hug yesterday after his “distress” and told him YOU ARE PERFECT! And, God, as I said this, I realized that is how You see him — as PERFECT! I don’t mean “perfect” as a judge would — or even in the ordinary sense of the word. I mean it more in the sense that last night’s crescent moon was “perfect” — worthy of awe and admiration, in and by itself — not weighed against all other crescent moons of its stage.

A dear friend taught me the Power of the word “Perfect” when she hugged me after I had made a stupid error and whispered. “You’re perfect.” I sensed then the HEALING POWER in that simple word. Thank You, God!

Posted in appreciation, background / foreground questions, breathing in Your Spirit, God wants to nourishes us, Perfect

The beauty of small things

Posted on October 9, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The common cactus with fruit

Good Morning, God!

A new day! And it is a Saturday — the boys are still sleeping — and no alarms were set! I just finished the last of my espresso and I am thankful. Sandy emailed from Sydney that she really needed their “vacation.” And it hit me — why am I always the last to know, God? — that I needed this “vacation” too.

Yesterday I finished up some “work” from home. I got to it after a long, relaxed, afternoon nap. And I realized how good it is to be OUT OF my normal push-and-pull days. As they say, A Change of Work is as good as a vacation.

Perhaps, for me, God, the best benefit has been to watch myself set up a new “space” for my stuff AND to set up a new schedule. Yesterday for the fifth straight day I went jogging after taking Ian to school. I was listening to a Timothy Keller sermon on my iPhone — available free at the iTunes store — and taking photos of almost everything in my path.

A Family of small cacti

Everything seemed so beautiful, God! And I was delighted to see that it isn’t just majestic mountains and tall, stately saguaros that are worthy of photos — yes, I already “knew” that — but like many things I “know” it hadn’t been examined and appreciated. Ha! I heard You, God! You are right. I will go back home — like Dorothy — more aware of the truism that there is No Place Like Home.

And,I hope, I will be more aware of the ability You have given to us all to REFRAME my life — to set it in a bigger context — and to look more closely at beauty of small things.

Posted in Abundant Life, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, appreciation, beauty, cacti, Perspective, Possibilities, reframing

Starry Skies, Constants that might not be, and Humility

Posted on October 8, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Artists depiction of a distant quasar

Good Morning, God!

I thought this was a beautiful photo . . . but it turned out to be a painting. Still, it is gorgeous! The Heavens DO declare Your Glory! It is sad that we hardly ever get to see the marvels of a starry night anymore. We are urban dwellers and our own manmade lights blind us to the spectacle of Your vast array of stars. I remember being up in the San Bernadino mountains as a young person and standing outside gawking at how there were more stars than darkness. Now it is exciting if I can spot the Milky Way.

a star filled night

Hmmm. I wonder if we will be able to really SEE the stars when we are up at Sequoia. I hope so.

But, I digress, God. I wanted to talk about the Top Physics Story of the Year. Apparently, our Keck telescope and the European Southern Observatory’s Very-Large-Telescope in Peru, were studying 153 quasars and it seems that billions of years ago the structural constant Alpha was different. Now, God, I read this article several times and I still can’t tell if it was bigger or smaller. In fact, I can only quote their definition of Alpha: “a fundamental measure of the strength of the electron’s hold on atoms.”

It isn’t interesting to me because it MEANS anything — it is interesting because the constant seem to have varied. Ah, God, we construct our view of the Universe so diligently. And yet, things like this “happen” and we have to readjust. As in Science, so in Life, God. And once again, I am “nudged” toward Humility. Humility keeps us flexible — or is the right word, fluid? That doesn’t mean jumping from One Certainty to Another — so much as entering a deep compassionate perspective on ourselves and others and our Universe — YOUR UNIVERSE!

Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Heavens declare the Glory of God, humility, Perspective

Mountain Lions and Me — and, oh yes, FEAR

Posted on October 7, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The face of a Mountain Lion

Good Morning, God!

I know that Mountain Lions are Your Creatures, too. But I have to tell You, God, I think that they OUGHT to be AFRAID of humans.

This is not just a theoretical question — a family of four mountain lions was seen last week Friday in MY Sabino Canyon — seen at Mile One and seen in broad daylight! And earlier there were reports here of mountain lions stalking humans. This is not good news.

Now, God, I AM in favor of sharing our world with other creatures! And I realize — upstairs in my “Noble Mind”– that it is OUR Sabino Canyon. But, this is where Reality — Fear, or by another name, Prudence — interjects itself. There is a nice website that tells about the “mountain lion situation at Sabino Canyon” but it doesn’t sound like anyone is doing anything to protect me.

I would like to see “armed guards” with ELECTRIC or TRANQUILIZER GUNS stationed at points where mountain lions were spotted. In fact, I would like posses out there looking for the lions to zap them and create a little — no, honestly, God — a LOT of fear of Humans.

The Political Mind

All of this caused me to do a mountain lion search on the web and I found a site that was a libertarian site. Needless to say, Libertarians are in favor of HUNTING mountain lions.

And that brings me, God, to George Lakoff — who has pointed out — in his book The Political Mind — how EMOTIONS intertwine with THINKING.

I noticed, God, that the face on the book cover is turned away from the mountain lion. So too, do Thinkers fail to face and deal with — or even use — the Power of Emotions.

Please WAKE UP all Thinkers, God!

Posted in fears, interspecies contact, Thinking and Feeling

A Wind in the Door and The Wind of the Spirit

Posted on October 6, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Madeleine L'Engle's book, A Wind in the Door

Good Morning God,

There is a lovely quote from Madeleine L’Engle, “You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.” I think that describes her second book in the Time Quartet — A Wind in the Door.

In the book the Echthroi are loose in the Universe — Xing creatures. They are loose here on Planet Earth, too, God. These beings — or are they really some sort of Non Being? — don’t just harm or destroy — they want to X it out. Obliterate.

This is the Non-Being that wants to turn our fellow humans into labels — labels that can then be turned into Enemies or SUBHUMANS. In Rwanda it labeled the Tutsis as Cockroaches — then incited the Hutus to KILL THE COCKROACHES.

This sort of labeling — far beyond name calling or just regular insults — is an attempt to X — to X a person or a people or a planet. I thought of this yesterday, God, while I was reading Rose’s Journey: A Christian in the Holocaust by Myrna Grant. The story is mesmerizing — and, sadly, timeless.

Are people having horrible problems? Then, let’s “FIND” a Horrible Group to blame it on! The next step is to X them. In Europe for hundreds of years the Jews were the group to blame. Only, God, “blame” doesn’t come close to describing the Xing of both the group and the individuals. They too were called words / labels indicating a “less than human” status.

It is hard, God, to keep “seeing” that the Evil that led to the Holocaust is always lurking around us. Looking for a Group or person to X. Blinding us with Fear and Anger. Keeping us from seeing Others as Neighbors. Please, God, CLEANSE and PROTECT US — ALL OF US!

Posted in a prayer for healing, fears, Heal Us Now, Humility or Needing Help!, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, Perspective

Windows into My Daughter’s World

Posted on October 5, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The view from Sandy's living room

Good Morning God!

I was sitting in Sandy’s living room, reading, when I looked up and saw this cloud over the mountains. What a lovely scene! Being a Full-Time Tutu is full of mostly lovely scenes — and an unexpected part of the Blessing is the Change of Perspective. I am walking in my daughter’s moccasins, God, and it is humbling.

Hmmm. Humility seems to be an ongoing theme. I find — thank goodness — little notes that Sandy has written — posted where I will need them. The espresso maker has a post-it note that says “Check water level. Turn off when done.” The blender has a note near it that says “Power button in back.”
I smile when I read them. But they help. And after my first “solo” day, when I forgot to give Ian his morning pills, I made a chart — just as Sandy had suggested — and now make a dutiful X morning and night. Sandy has left a day-by-day schedule of boys activities and pickup times. I read them faithfully, and, of course, consult with Mark.

Another small “window” into my daughter’s world is the reading material in the bathrooms. At Suz’s I read the New Yorker. Here one room contains A Rhyming History of Britain (I’m almost done) while another has The Power of Half: One Family’s Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back.

Mark gave me his copy of Fortune so I could read the full article about Trader Joe’s and yesterday I read an entire issue of CAM — the Cambridge Alumni Magazine. Imagine, God, Prince Phillip is the Chancellor of Cambridge. How odd!

I remember M. Scott Peck’s words that “A parent who is unwilling to learn from his child is condemned to an early senility.” I am working hard at learning, God!

Posted in people as gifts, Perspective, perspectives

Food, a Sixth Love Language!

Posted on October 4, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Heart of the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Good Morning, God!

I’ve been chatting with the boys — young men, really — about the Five Love Languages — I like to keep bringing that topic up. Let’s see, the five are Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service. But in just these few days it has come to me that FOOD should be a SIXTH Love Language. The old adage about the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach rings true.

And suppling food is a major challenge for me — even with all the work Sandy did in preparing their lunch packets. Teenage boys eat so much and these have sensitive taste buds. I take one of them with me when I shop for food. Mostly we do well, God. But, for them, I do buy desserts.

I haven’t been in real grocery stores that much God, and it has been a bit of a shock. I have come Face to Face with the New World of Amped-up Food — Sugar, Salt, Fats and FLAVORS — and so far I have managed not to eat it. Let’s see, God, it was chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels that Mark tossed into the basket this afternoon. He had a couple, and I gave Ian a few. Neither boy wanted more. Now, on the other hand, God, if I had eaten even ONE I would have eaten more — maybe 10 more or maybe many more.

As long as I stay away from grains — stay on the wagon — I can resist the New Super-Tasty Food. But the power of the Sugar Snake is great! She longs to delude me into thinking I can have “just one.” I CAN’T. There is great power in that humility, God.

Posted in family visits, food questions, humility

Clouds and Weather — Outside — and In Us

Posted on October 3, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Puffy white clouds over the Santa Catalina Mountains

Good Morning, God

I’m in bed — relishing a Sabbath rest — and pondering “weather.” Yesterday morning Ian burst into my bedroom at 8:30 READY for the promised breakfast at Jerry Bob’s restaurant. As we set out the sky was its usual clear blue. In fact, it was SO sunny that I offered Ian the sunglasses that Sandy had left in the car.

On the way home I was delighted by this puffy white cloud that was appearing over our mountains. Then I got busy with other things — yes, God, mostly things instead of the boys — and it wasn’t

Irresistible clouds -- taken through the car window

until I was driving Mark to a friends at noon that I noticed how full of clouds the sky had become.

Later that afternoon, when I was taking Ian off to buy him sunglasses that fit, the sky became covered by a mass of grey — not even distinct enough to be called clouds. Ian and I chatted happily and went on to Basha’s for his preferred cheese (Boars Head Red Wax white sharp cheddar cheese) and hot dogs, etc. Then shortly after we got home it did actually rain! At first it was so soft and gentle I could barely hear it. But I sat outside to smell it and listen as it became a steady pitter pat.

Then, Ian came out with his cell phone — talking to his mom in Australia — YIKES! Ian had been overcome by his “inner weather” and I had missed it. So, PLEASE, God, help me to focus on my grandsons and not on STUFF. Help me to hear what is not said — and to go slow enough to maybe see the “clouds” of inner weather.

Posted in Hearing, people as gifts, Perspective, seeing