Will Power or Focus Power?

Posted on July 10, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Influencer: the power to change anything

Good Morning, God!

I’ve been listening to the book, Influencer for some time now. It’s filled with fascinating information that overturns many of our common assumptions. Yesterday it overturned the “Marshmallow Studies.”

For years, God, I have heard about the “marshmallow” studies — the ones where you put ONE marshmallow in front of a child and tell him he can eat it now, but if he can resist eating it while you leave the room to run an errand you will give him TWO marshmallows. This simple “Ability to Wait” is an excellent indicator of the child’s future “success.”

This “Will Power” factor was assumed to be somehow inherent, part of a person’s character. You had it, or you didn’t. And, if you didn’t have the ability to wait — that was just too bad.

I found that sort of sad, God. So I was overjoy to learn that what looks like “Will Power” seems to be having just one small skill. People who can WAIT for the second marshmallow do so by SHIFTING their FOCUS OFF the marshmallow. Some children made up games to play — others moved so they couldn’t see the marshmallow. They distracted themselves. They didn’t just sit and stare at the marshmallow and exercise “Will Power.”

Better yet, when the researchers took the One Marshmallow Kids and put them with an adult who modeled the skill of waiting through changing focus — almost all of the kids picked up that skill after one exposure.

Now, God, this seems like a very pivotal piece of information — an incredible important point. But HOW am I going to make use of it in MY life? Hmmm. I will do a Focus Inventory after Church!

Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN

Loving the Ride

Posted on July 9, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

with Nose wide open -- enjoying the ride

Good Morning, God!

I was so delighted when I saw this dog hanging his head out the car window when we were stopped at a red light.

When we’d been moving, his head was UP — nose in the air — enjoying stuff far beyond my senses. But, as You will understand, God, I couldn’t take his photo when we were moving.

I identify with this dog, God! Sniffing, sensing, enjoying, appreciating. It is really hard for me to pull back from the World of the Senses. To close my eyes (which must be my equivalent of the dog’s nose) and for 20 minutes to engage in Centering Prayer is to embrace Beyond My Senses stuff. Even now, God, my Dog Part is pulling . . . stretching out the car window . . .

Still, last night, God, when I was sitting in Centering Prayer, I could imagine myself as a dog lying at Your Feet. That was a lovely image. I remember seeing a friend’s beautiful Border Collie — stretched out in total repose — resting with not a care in the world.

If a busy and purposeful Border Collie can rest so completely . . . surely I can, too. Because, God, just as I cannot begin to comprehend the Vivid World of Odors so, too is the Cosmos of Prayer way beyond me. Hmm.

Now, that is a helpful thought, God. After all, embracing silence at the ten-day retreat helped me “tune up” my other senses. Hmm. Yes, God. Please help me see sitting in Centering Prayer as stepping in to Your Unseen and Unknown Reality.

Posted in Centering Prayer, Prayer, processing on deeper levels, putting down daily diversions, The World of our Senses

Scrubbing “algae” and other small acts of maintenance

Posted on July 8, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Dolphin trainers scrubbing the algae off the steps

Good Morning, God,

I love watching the dolphins at Kahala. When I stop to think about it, I feel sort of guilty, God, since I disapprove of keeping intelligent animals in captivity. It isn’t right!

In the book The Elephant Whisperer, the author tells of of his goal to connect several large game parks so that the elephants could migrate as they used to do. Free to follow the old paths.

Sigh, but what I want most to talk to You about this morning is the dolphin trainers “scrubbing the algae” off the steps. The trainers were quite cheerful about their work — but, I was struck at the difference between (a) the glamorous job of interacting with dolphins and (b) the mundane job of scrubbing off algae.

I was surprised, God. But, now that I think about it, most jobs involve a fair bit of the unglamorous. In fact, LIFE has a large component of MAINTENANCE. Hmm. I think, God, that You are trying to tell me something.

Something like, I’m not devoting enough time and focus to “scrubbing off algae” in my life — my “at home” daily life? Hmm. Well, yes, God. I am not doing well at “putting away,” am I? My Create : Cleanup ratio is badly out of whack. Inside my body, too.

Well, I am staying home this morning, God. I am not going out to “socialize and exercise and have fun.” I am going to go back to resting and very light sessions of putting stuff away. Thank You God for waking me via my Body. Now I am going back to bed — and I will have a restful morning.

Posted in humility, lying fallow, Maintenance

How to Become Lucky or Luckier

Posted on July 7, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Playing cards with my Mom

Good Morning, God!

One of my Joys in Life is playing games with my mom. We play Scrabble and then Skipbo, a card game. In both games there is an element of luck.

But, with Skipbo I have noticed that Luck seems to flow back and forth. And, at times Luck seems to leave the room.

But, yesterday, God, I was HOT. I won — and I won quickly and consistently. I was explaining to my Mom that I was just LUCKY. Then my Mom looked at me and said, “WHY are you so lucky?”

Why? Is there a WHY to luck, God? I didn’t have an answer, so I went home and Googled “luck.” Sure enough, God, I found “research” on it. Professor Richard Wiseman at the Universty of Hertfordshire did an article back in 2003 entitled, “The Loser’s Guide to Getting Lucky.”

Here are Professor Wiseman’s four top tips for becoming lucky: “1) Listen to your gut instincts – they are normally right. 2) Be open to new experiences and to breaking your normal routine. 3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well. 4) Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy.” He says we can PRACTICE these tips to increase our luck.

Apparently, God, when we are tense or task-focused we tend not to SEE opportunities. One of his experiments was to give both groups (self identified Lucky and Unlucky people) a newspaper to read and asked them to count the photos. Midway through the paper was a half page ad with two inch type saying, “Tell the researcher you’ve seen this and win 250 pounds sterling.” Lucky people saw it far more often than Unlucky people.

Oh, Please, God, open my eyes to SEE Your opportunities and blessings.

Posted in attitudes, blooming, connecting, seeing

My Mother’s Stout Cat — and Other Stout Animals

Posted on July 6, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My Mother's Cat -- on my Mother's Bed

Good Morning, God!

My Mother’s Cat has morphed from a svelte and agile Princess Katrina — to a rather stout Queen Katrina. But she has never for one minute doubted that she is the Alpha Female in the apartment. This seems to be just fine with my mother, who takes it all in stride.

I can remember the vet saying that “cats are too smart to overeat.” But, I have not noticed much of a correlation between intelligence and weight in humans, God. Perhaps Queen Katrina overeats because she is confined to a one bedroom apartment? I do let her out in the hall, God, but there is little of interest in the hall — except for the time she discovered another cat living a few doors down. All she did was hiss outside the closed door. But,the neighboring cat was terrified, later that day escaping and hiding behind the dryer down the hall. Cat and owner subsequently moved.

But, back to overeating, God. While I was at the Silent Retreat, I bought The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure, Energy and Weight Loss. It was a prescient purchase, God! The next three week trip — followed by three weeks of being sick and with low energy — is showing up around my midsection.

So far, God, I am working at putting two ideas into action. The first is to eat slower and more mindfully. The second is a bit harder and that is to eat EARLIER. Apparently, that gives out bodies time to digest the food before we sleep — leaving our bodies free to rebuild and repair over night. Aah! Sleep is a nightly “sabbath” of rest and restoration!

Please help me live in harmony with Your Design, God!

Posted in God wants to nourishes us, God's Provision, living within limits, mindfulness

It Was a Happy 4th of July!

Posted on July 5, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Fireworks at Princeton in late May

Good Morning, God!

We had a Happy 4th of July . . . a quiet day at home. Well, quiet up until it got dark and we heard (and saw from our bedroom) the fireworks show at Maunaloa Bay Beach Park.

The Fourth was also the day a dear friend’s grandson came home from Afghanistan — wounded — but alive! Thank YOU. God!

Ah, God. Surely, our Species can do better than we are doing? So many GOOD people in the World, God. Why then . . . is there so much trouble?

I am half way through the book The Body Never Lies: the Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting in which the author, Alice Miller, states that cruel parents produce cruel despots. Probably true. But, somehow, I don’t think it’s that simple, God.

Actually, I suspect that nothing is ever simple. The recent issue of the Atlantic has an article, “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy,” about the fragile “teacup” young adults who have been so protected all their lives that they never had a chance to develop resiliency. They had parents that were “too good” instead of “good enough.” But, then, just how do we define “good?”

Perhaps, God, it is more a question of balancing assorted “goods” like Freedom and Responsibility? Children need to be free — free to have a certain amount of failures and falls. At the same time, children need to develop a sense of responsibility and limits. Hmm. We adults are still grappling with this “balance thing,” aren’t we God?

Please, God, help me today to Practice Your Presence — in all the myriad activities of my Mind and Heart.

Posted in Balancing and adjustments, Celebrations, embedded in God's Time, growing toward up

Dr. Dean Ornish and Thomas Merton

Posted on July 4, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Quote from Thomas Merton

Good Morning, God!

Sometime during my Centering Prayer last night two thoughts came to me. The first related to a powerful talk by Dr. Dean Ornish on our ability to make positive changes.

The second thought came from this quote from Thomas Merton (at left), which is on the front door of the Snowmass Retreat Center. I knew as soon as I saw it that it was meant for me.

But, in listening to Dr. Ornish talk about preventing and healing most chronic diseases through Lifestyle Changes — I just didn’t think about BEING BUSY as a key factor.

Of course not, God! I thought about the changes I had already made, relating to eating, exercise, close friends, meditation. Naturally, I didn’t think of the ONE BIG CHANGE that I had yet to make — ELIMINATING BUSY-NESS! Was that Willful Blindness? You bet, God! So, please help me as I go over the key sentence in that quote once AGAIN!

“To commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence.”

I haven’t bounced back from the bug I got upon arriving home so I’ve been “forced” to cancel important commitments. And, that has shown me 1) that the world is doing fine without me and 2) I actually LIKE a slower pace. Yes, God, some of us need a Whack on the head to help things come together.

So, today, God,help me do more puttering, and more praying. And Thank You for time to play games with my Mom.

Posted in Centering Prayer, Changing, healing, health

Looking Forward to a Day of Puttering and Praying

Posted on July 3, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Diamondhead and Shower Trees

Good Morning, God!

I awoke to find Kit down watching tennis at Wimbledon. Later he and Suz will enjoy chatting about it.

As for me, God, there is something delicious about two slow sabbath days ahead! Days to pray and putter about.

Praying again and again, God, for our dear Lum Family in far off Swaziland. And praying, too, for our beloved grandson Ian in Arizona. Ian has been brave enough to go off to a Young Life camp — but he finds noise and excitement deeply distressing because of his hypersensitivities. I remember going with Sandy and Ian and Mark to Ian’s Audio Integration treatments. Those treatments did help reduce Ian’s hearing sensitivities. Thank You, God, that we now understand that behavior has physiological components. That it isn’t just about “character” the way it used to be.

I am thankful, God, that You want us to Pray and to Love and to Care. Thankful that our lives are filled with family and friends. And, now, God, I find myself thinking of large families — families with eight children and 34 grandchildren, etc. Oh, my. However do they do it?

Love, Love, Love! It is all about LOVE! And, love involves time and attention — hearing and seeing — and being WITH. I am becoming aware, God,that Our Bodies do communicate beyond our senses’ ability to convey. And, perhaps, that is true of Prayer, too? Prayer is so much MORE than we humans can grasp.

Please, God, today — in amongst my tidying and puttering — please reach out and grasp me! Please, God, envelop me in Your Love — Your incredible love for us all.

Posted in a prayer for healing, Prayer, processing on deeper levels, sabbath rest, sacred space, setting my life in context

A Yellow Royal Poinciana and the Joy of Living

Posted on July 2, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Yellow Royal Poinciana blossoms

Good Morning, God!

What fun! As I was looking for what photo I wanted to share, I was listening to Dr. Dean Ornish speaking about Sustainable Changes. His main point is that changes that make us joyful are sustainable.

And it turns out, God, that You have designed us to heal fairly quickly — when we give our bodies a chance to heal.

I know You know this, God. But, it was really a delight to hear a doctor say it. Dr. Ornish points out that fear of death just doesn’t motivate us. Even telling a person they can live to 86 instead of 85 doesn’t motivate us — it doesn’t even motivate 85 year olds. But, when people realize that small changes can make us feel better — bringing more joy into our life — they change more. And the more they change their life style, the better they get!

Eating right and exercise — those we kind of understand, God. But Dr. Ornish showed how Meditation can turn off “bad” genes and turn on “good” genes. Hmm. I think, God, I need to watch this video twice. Maybe three times?

What I am taking away from his talk, right now, is that focused attention on positive things not only feels good it is good for us. I am pretty sure, God, that walking all around this beautiful big tree was really good for my health. Focusing on beauty — focusing on Your Creation — appreciating and enjoying — all of these are good for our Health.

I’m very thankful for Dr. Ornish’s empowering message, God! I hope You will help everyone click HERE to watch it.

Posted in appreciation, Enjoyment, healing, health, JOY, Motivation

Interspecies Communication and Trust

Posted on July 1, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Elephant Whisperer by Lawrence Anthony

Good Morning, God!

Sometimes I get discouraged about our species, God. There are so many good individuals — but, in aggregate we seem to be busy destroying ecosystems and pushing animals into extinction.

In fact, looking at the elephants on this book cover, my mind takes me back to the display of stuffed elephants at the New York Museum of Natural History. As I recall, they were shot by Teddy Roosevelt. Sigh.

Elephants are another species — created by You — worthy of respect. In fact, God, it seems to me that most of the troubles in our world have at their root, lack of respect. Oh that we would respect ourselves and others more! And not just human “others.”

So, yesterday, seeing this book, The Elephant Whisperer, in the library, I took it home and devoured the first half of it.

The author was starting a private game park when he got a call asking if he would “take” a herd of nine elephants. The herd had a very smart matriarch who had figured out how to break through electric fences. If he didn’t take them, the elephants would be killed. So he took them. When the elephants arrived they were ANGRY. And who could blame them as they had seen their matriarch killed!

The author describes how he camped out near their holding enclosure (boma) to feed them and try and keep them in. If they escaped, they were doomed to be killed as too dangerous. He actually stood in front of the new matriarch every morning at 4:45 when she was about to break through the electric fence — talking to her, pleading with her to stay. She understood enough to turn back every morning — finally trusting him.

Communication is far more than words, God. Please help me with this!

Posted in Communication, interspecies contact, Trusting God, web of life