Healing and Praying

Posted on March 5, 2022 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Morning, God

The other day a friend asked, “Does Prayer Work?” And I found myself saying, “That’s the wrong question!” I went on to say — that is the question we ask about objects. Does this blender work? Does this medicine work. Prayer is our interaction with a “higher” level of reality. Or maybe it is a “deeper” level of reality? I do not have words to describe something so “other”.

But, God, I do have a deep desire to share how I am now experiencing prayer. Before, I felt like I was begging — well, earnestly pleading — for Your Help. I felt as if You were not “paying attention” and I had to get Your Attention.

Now — after years of Centering Prayer and Welcoming Prayer — everything feels flipped. I am the one who isn’t paying attention. I am the one who has wandered off to do my own thing. And You, God, have given me the image of Alfred P. Doolittle as he says to Professor Higgins, I’M WILLING TO HELP. I’M WANTING TO HELP. I’M WAITING TO HELP.

I’m sitting here smiling! But this image feels so true that I just have to share it. You ARE WILLING, WANTING AND WAITING to help us. But, often, not the way we want or expect. I think of prayer now as my coming to You and saying “Please, let Your Will be done in me.”

I really do not know How or What You do — when I sit, silently, consenting to the action of Your Indwelling Spirit within me. But, as I grow in TRUST I am becoming more comfortable with that. As I look around me I hardly know where to begin in Asking Prayers.

Well, less judging, less anger, less hate — in me an ongoing awareness of how little I know — and how much fear, pain and grief I have to let go of. Because, somehow it is that Fear, Pain and Grief that give rise to Judging, Anger and Hate.

All those are abstractions. What I can say is that I retired in a very resentful and angry state. A few weeks later I was invited to nine days of Centering Prayer at the Benedictine Monastery in Snowmass. I came in filled with toxic judgments. And every day as I sat — intentionally — in God’s Presence — I was very slowly helped to see things from a different perspective. It was mostly imperceptible. But, slowly I saw myself as part of the situation and I released the multiple toxins — forgiving others, forgiving myself. I am convinced those nine days of Centering Prayer saved my life.

Bodies housing anger and hate have very little energy left for healing.

Posted in a prayer for healing, acknowledging my need for prayer, Centering Prayer, Prayer, praying, Praying for our enemies

Thy Will Be Done

Posted on March 3, 2022 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Evening, God

More and more I am becoming aware of how little I know. This is progress. Sigh, so much of my life has been lived in the realms of Certainty. THIS is RIGHT. THAT is WRONG. Oh, my . . . oh my. . . such certainty. And the trouble with “knowing one is right” is that it makes it just an easy step or two to INSIST on that “right” being done. Just a step or two more until violence is justified. This is the violence of the majority that the Bill of Rights sought to limit.

But, enough of the Body Politic. Let me go back to my individual world. I am still wanting to share . . . but, I am more aware of my need to respect the views of others. Respect now seems the very foundation of Love. You have given us that kind of loving respect in giving us free will. The freedom to be wrong. The freedom to mess up. Trusting us to an amazing degree. It is scary.

As I pray I am focusing more on wanting Your Will to be done IN ME. I think of my loving husband. And my need to exercise more control over my tongue. But that’s not all. It is all about HOW I chose to exercise my free will and personal responsibility. And, I’m realizing that it is foolish to expend energy on regret and worry . . . or on judging. Especially, judging!

Bless BLESS, and do not curse! Now I am beginning to see that judging is a form of cursing. Even if we are not near the people we are judging — I believe it has a negative effect on them. Sort of a solidifying effect. Making it even harder for them to soften. YIKES! It has that same effect on ME as I judge!

So, more and more when I pray — I am asking for healing for myself. Asking for a cleansing for myself. Asking for compassion for myself. Asking for healing and compassion for all my fellow human beings as we struggle to live in Your Light and in Your Love. And as we relax and trust enough to let that light and love shine through us.

Posted in a prayer for healing, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, Cleansing, Compassion, developing helpful definitions of love, healing, judging, Light, Light shining through, LOVE, Personal Responsibilty, self care as self compassion and humility, The daily details of love, the gift of persistent love, trust

Ash Wednesday: Beginning Lent

Posted on March 2, 2022 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Morning, God

I confess to having begun yesterday by splitting a chocolate bar with my beloved husband, Kit and then I had pancakes for breakfast. Fat Tuesday, indeed! And now I sit — pondering the Journey of Lent — so lovingly set before me. Set before me as an opportunity to offer myself. That sounds noble. It isn’t. Why wouldn’t I want to dig deeper into this annual invitation to grow?

Because, that is what I am now reframing Lent as — an invitation to COME AND SEE — or just come and sit quietly in prayer. Consenting, Asking, Desiring Welcoming the action of Your Indwelling Spirit within me.

One Wonderful Thing about growing older is I am becoming more comfortable about being brought nose to nose with my faults. Last night — just before I sat down for a period of Centering Prayer — I fussed at my sweet husband for unplugging the lights instead of switching them off. (I had just replugged them 5 minutes before.) I sat in “prayerful” silence. Then it was as if I heard a Voice saying: Have I given you so much energy that you can afford to waste it on irritations?

Well, no. . . of course not. Another gift of aging is that I no longer imagine myself with unlimited energy. So, clearly, I was foolish to waste it on harassing my beloved husband. Notice, my behavior was named FOOLISH as opposed to BAD.

And, so I was not shamed or scolded. I was just helped to reframe my behavior as foolish. To me that is how YOU operate. Lovingly calling me to turn away from foolishness — and into lovingkindness.

Posted in becoming the change I wish to see, Being ENJOYED by God, Centering Prayer, Changing, Inner Journeys, JOY, Lovingkindness, pondering the purpose of Lent, reframing, simple joys of daily life, the joy of sharing

Connecting a few more dots on Healing

Posted on February 22, 2022 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Simon & Garfunkel singing Feelin’ Groovy in Central Park

Good Evening, God

A few weeks ago a dear friend told me I had to listen to Feelin’ Groovy by Simon and Garfunkel. I heard the lines “Slow down, you’re going too fast. You gotta make the moment last.” And realized this was sort of a Word from You, God. Because, I was going too fast.

But, then tonight I realized WHY I should slow down. Going fast tells my body that I am “under pressure” and to my body that signifies DANGER. That took me back to the Polyvagal Theory of Dr Porges. Apparently, our body cares a lot about feeling “Safe”. In fact, only our body can really tell if it feels safe or not. Our mind can assure our body all it wants. The body does its own assessment. Dr. Porges created the term neuroception to describe HOW the body knows.

So, it turns out that feeling SAFE is the foundation for releasing the body’s energy to heal. I knew about the importance of parasympathetic nervous system for healing. I just had never thought about the importance of my body feeling safe in order to turn that on. Even less so, had I ever linked rushing / going fast / trying to do too much — with my body feeling safe.

Actually, I have never given any thought at all to my body having her own criteria for Safe. Nor had I understood how important feeling safe is for healing. Now, that I know, I have a REASON for slowing down. That is important because all my life I have needed to understand WHY in order to do something consistently .

Now, I’m real clear, God. In order to heal, I need help to slow down. I am working on Centering Prayer and Mindfulness. I both cases the idea is to sink into NOW. Letting go of regrets of the past and fears of the future. And embracing THIS MOMENT as it is. But, a bit of help from You would be very much appreciated.

Meanwhile, how good to have help from our friends!

Tagged with: Feelin' Groovy, Simon & Garfunkel, slowing down to heal
Posted in Centering Prayer, healing, Humility or Needing Help!, mindfulness, needing help, Polyvagal Theory, safe, slow incremental change, Slowing Down

The Lungs of our Earth need help

Posted on January 31, 2022 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Night, God!

Or maybe I should say Good Heavens! It is 1:05 a.m. and here I am writing a blog. But I woke up with it stuck in my mind. So here goes.

We think of the Amazon basin as the lungs of earth. And we decry the logging and pollution — as we should! But, tonight, I realized that we are poisoning the Great Plains Farmland of North America so they cannot do the work You created them to do!!!

These great stretches of grasslands were created to breathe in carbon out of the air and breathe out oxygen through the healthy plants growing in healthy soil.

All that has changed with Industrial Agriculture! The soil has been deeply damaged by chemical fertilizers, insecticides and herbicides. It cannot absorb carbon nearly as well. And it cannot absorb Water nearly as well, either. These endless miles of soybeans, corn and wheat are kept alive artificially by the very chemicals that are killing the soil.

Sigh.

Just few Big Companies have the power to change all this! It takes about three years to restore soil to health. So? Change could happen far more quickly than we can imagine.

All is not hopeless. When we stop — or even slow — damaging Your World — it heals!

Tagged with: changing, climate change, compassion, Farmland as Earth's Lungs, forgiving, healiing, healing, hope, humility, microbial life, Soil health and microbes
Posted in a prayer for healing, Forgiving, healing, hope

On Becoming More Fully Human

Posted on January 20, 2022 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God,

This morning, I watched part of a Tweet called “Free Will Is Over” by Yuval Noah Harari. He said that humans are hackable. Alas, I fear he is right on that. Our minds are easily managed by the all encompassing media we are surrounded by. Even our Hearts, once plunged into the Icy Ocean of Fear can be led astray.

However, while driving home from getting my teeth cleaned just a few hours later, my car started to play Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor. GLORIOUS! I found myself “singing” along. I had simply had to add my voice to those of the instruments. Singing along with a Mozart Requiem? Unlikely, perhaps. But, a perfect antidote to the Tweet.

Really, God, we haven’t even begun to expand into so many of the gifts You have given us. I find individual humans to be delightful. Even those inserted into bureaucracies often manage to be kind and caring. I think that IS OUR NATURE!

One has only to read the writings of Father Gregory Boyle to be amazed at how Your Love can heal and transform the most traumatized individuals. And, in one way or another we have all been hurt. We all need the healing touch of love and understanding. And we need one another.

In a way we have been crippled by our society’s limited understanding of what it is to be human. We are not called to be “better” than others — but to be “with” each other. The power of love is still waiting to be more fully explored.

Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Compassion, compassion to care for myself, connecting, Creating, creativity in loving service, developing helpful definitions of love, LOVE, New Creatures in Christ, Our Extended Family - all creatures great and small, self care as self compassion and humility, Super Complexity, The daily details of love, The Endless Flow of God's Love, the gift of persistent love

The interactions of Layers upon Layers

Posted on January 1, 2022 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God!

I’ve been running over the various times in which the experts have ridiculed the ideas that threatened their world view — indeed, threatened their sense of self — their psychic safety.

Florence Nightingale said that the doctors would like to have had her burned at the stake like Joan of Arc. And that just for wanting good fresh air, sunlight and soap for the patients.

Dr. Semmelweiss was ridiculed and hounded into an insane asylum for noticing that more women died of childbed fever in the hospital when attended by doctors who had just come from doing autopsies. He just urged them to wash their hands.

Alfred Wegener suggested “Continental Drift” in 1912 and was ridiculed by his fellow scientists. It would take 50 years for Plate Tectonics to be accepted. And on and on it goes.

Going against Conventional Wisdom is risky. Or maybe it is just CERTAINTY that is risky? I am not humble by nature but as I pay attention — it is not that hard to see that ALL is not yet known. Worse yet, I (like most of us) undoubtedly hold views that make it next to impossible for me to assemble what I do know into a coherent whole. I am severely limited — constrained — by family and cultural norms.

Yet, I am curious. I love moving the “dots” around . . . and around. And I am perhaps a bit of a contrarian by nature. So, God, please help me to keep on asking questions; questioning assumptions; and being open to being wrong. My being wrong. And experts being wrong. All this as we grapple with understanding the difference between complicated and complex. I love this discussion of the difference.

Lastly, help me remember the vast proliferation of unintended consequences. Then there is (I think) Jay Forrester’s quote: in a complex system you almost always get the opposite of the result you intend. And each one of us is a “complex system”. Ah, please, God, more humility!

Posted in being wrong, Certainty, Changing, choices, complexity, connecting, humility, Humility or Needing Help!, paradigm shifts

The Power to Choose

Posted on November 30, 2021 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God!

On Sunday, I was going into Kokua Market when I was stopped by this glorious pile of dead blossoms. I LOVE these colors! In fact, I love COLOR. So, I took a photo. The young man that was sweeping them up looked a bit puzzled when I exclaimed over the beauty of the blossoms. But, he smiled.

Then this morning at breakfast, my wonderful husband Kit, asked what my sister, Martha, had died of. Sigh. . . she died of an overdose of Xanax. Bigger sigh! Since she did it on the edge of the Arctic Ocean off Barrow Alaska, it was clearly suicide. But, my heart went back to the bigger question of what really had been the cause.

For the first time, I was able to see that my sister — smart as she was — somehow didn’t have the power to help herself. Helping ourselves involves assessing our choices and then choosing. Both of those steps are “tricky”. Assessing our choices involves having enough HOPE to see possibilities. And then CHOOSING what we CAN do, involves focusing our attention on what we can do. And that means doing a lot of accepting of what we truly cannot do. Accepting means, refusing to drain our energy by regretting what we cannot do.

Choosing to see the beauty in a pile of blossoms being swept up to be thrown away — is a very small kind of choice. At the other end of the spectrum is the man in the Auschwitz concentration camp. Viktor Frankl noticed that he was a long term survivor and asked him how he did it. The man replied: the purpose of this camp is to strip us of the power of choice. So, I exercise the choices I have. If I can eat, I eat. If I can drink, I drink. If I can relieve myself, I do. I if I can stop and rest, I do. If I can sleep, I do. I work at controlling the ON/OFF and IN/OUT choices I have.

Oh my! May we all work at controlling and exercising the choices we have. Especially, as we focus on what will be of help to ourselves. Hmmm, please help ME!

Tagged with: advice from a resident of Auschwitz concentration camp, The Power to Choose, The Power to help myself
Posted in accepting my need for help, asking for help for myself, choices, choosing HARD, Choosing Meaning, Choosing to respond, connecting, Help me to see, Helpful Hards, hope, Hope as a gift from God, Humility or Needing Help!, the essential nature of hope

This Shadowed Planet

Posted on November 20, 2021 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God,

I recall the words of Madeleine L’Engle — referring to us as a Shadowed Planet. I didn’t begin to appreciate the truth of those words until the last year or so. I still do not claim to appreciate them fully. But, I am beginning to realize that I have massively underestimated the powers of darkness.

Sigh. I remember, God, our oldest daughter asking me — Does the Devil really exist? I said, well, not as a little man in a red suit with a pitchfork. But, perhaps, as a Grey Cloud? A Desiccating Cloud hovering over you that tells you that YOU DON’T MATTER! THAT NOTHING YOU WILL EVER DO, MATTERS!

Oh! she said, I know HIM! And we both laughed. We both knew him in that guise. And we would sometimes see him forming . . . and call out, GREY CLOUD ATTACK!!!

Such a simple image . . . but it did acknowledge the existence of dark forces. Forces I feel forming all around our planet. Forces that wish to silence, shut down and destroy. Oh my…..FRIGHTENING.

FEAR NOT! That is the command that is reverberating in my heart. And it is absolutely true. You are with us — into forever. It is fear that the enemy uses to get us to respond in kind. And we are in a replication war . . . Evil wants to tempt us into fearing, anger, and hating. Into joining it.

So THAT is why You command us to Pray for those in authority over us! Bless, BLESS and do not curse. Praying for those ensnared in dark deeds is our opportunity to love. . . or rather, to let Your Love flow through us.

Posted in a prayer for healing, Compassion, connecting, LOVE, Prayer, Praying for our enemies, The Flow of God's Love, the gift of persistent love

Stories for My Heart

Posted on October 23, 2021 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God!

I checked this book out of the library, read it, and then bought it. Next I got the Audible version so I could listen to it. This has been like water for my soul. I want to rave about it — but just how does one describe a book that seems to encompass all of life? Hearing Rabbi Naomi Levy’s stories . . . hearing her share the wisdom of the talmud and wisdom from the long line of rabbis back in time . . . was like having the Other Half of the Story appear.

As a follower of Jesus, it felt like I had found my FAMILY! My ROOTS!

The book is so FULL. It follows a simple plot line. Who wrote to Einstein — so that he answered with words about how we are all interconnected, all one? And in following that one question we are led into the Buchenwald concentration camps as they are opened! Only to find 904 boys! Somehow hidden by the inmates so that they survived . . . One of them was Elie Wiesel. And the man who helped care for those boys — was the same man who wrote the letter to Einstein.

But, this book is so much MORE than the plot. Each chapter holds wisdom, wrapped in stories from her personal life and her life as a rabbi. That hardly begins to describe the effect the book is having on me. Because her underlying theme is how our soul longs to care for us and how essential it is for our well being to care lovingly and respectfully for our soul.

A dear friend is reading this book S L O W L Y. That is what I am doing as I listen to it. It feels like drip irrigation. Too much, too fast and it flows down the drain. I need to soak in it. And as I soak . . . my soul nudges me . . . last night I started reading the first chapter of Colossians in 3 translations.

Aaah. We are all interconnected. All part of an unimaginable WHOLE. We are CALLED to love and respect one another.

Posted in developing helpful definitions of love, LOVE, respect, Soul, the gift of persistent love, water and love