Backlog Processing

Posted on January 17, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

my coconut had the green outside husked off

Yesterday morning while I was sipping my coconut water at the Farmers’ Market, I thought about fasting. Actually, I was starting a 2 meal fast, God, to try and makeup for not doing it yesterday although, I am pretty sure, it doesn’t work like that. I figured liquids were OK. And what better liquid is there than coconut water? Thank You, God for that excellent gift to us!

Anyway, as I was sipping away it occurred to me that perhaps one of the benefits of a fast is that it allows our bodies to stop working on incoming digestion and take care of some of the backlog. That thought really pleased me. As You know, God, I have two rooms full of backlogs. So, the idea of refraining from food and putting the time and energy into backlog processing was appealing.

Fasting is much easier on days when I have jogged. Exercise — even my light version — seems to set the body on fat consumption — so my body can dine happily while I forego. Now, God, what is it that happens on the Spiritual Level when we fast? Oh oh, did You just say that it would depend on whether the fast was done for Spiritual reasons? Dang. Good point.

Well, O.K. let’s suppose my fast was undertaken for purely spiritual reasons. What might the benefits be?Yes, I might try it and observe . . . Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Posted in exploring fasting, living by every word that comes from God, various backlogs in my life

On Being One of God’s Projects

Posted on January 16, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Rubin Vase image credit: John Smithson

Ah, God, a fresh awareness of what YOU are doing! And it is a gift from You as I heard myself saying it to a friend yesterday morning — and then went back and played it over. . . and over.

I want to change my circumstances — You want to use my circumstances to change me.

This is a major background / foreground shift. And, personally, God I find those shifts difficult, if not unnerving! So I looked for and found my favorite example of a background / foreground shift. The vase on the left is given a 3 dimensional look and so it just looks like a vase. But when the vase is flattened and made two dimensional and the background is turned black — then we can “see” the two faces on either side and the vase just becomes a white background. I’ve always liked that image, that example. But it is disturbing to see it as an example of how You are changing my way of seeing.

So, here I am. I want to do things — want to get my calendar under control — get my papers tossed or filed — finish a few projects. YOU WANT TO WORK ON GROWING ME! I am One of Your Projects! I don’t say that to flatter myself. I think You want to “grow” each and every one of us. That is a very fine abstract idea. The reality of it — pressing at me as it is doing right now — is another matter entirely.

Because in that reality I catch just a glimpse of my falling short — of my failing yesterday to respond to a nudge from You. That hurts. And it should hurt. I DO WANT to grow. I do want to please You. I just need to want it more than I want to take the easy path. Sigh.

Well, Yes, God. We learn best through our failures. That’s a loving word. And, TODAY is a NEW DAY

Posted in a hand up, adoring Easy, Choosing to respond

Pray FERVENTLY, Pray and FAST

Posted on January 15, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Bodlein Library

Well, God, one doesn’t appreciate what works, until one gets a good look at what doesn’t! Our government comes in for lots of complaints — but then looking at Haiti — at a government that seems only for the benefit of a few at the top — ours looks pretty good.

Somehow, the Bodlein Library seems at the other end of the spectrum from Haiti. Order. Stability. Wealth put to good use. . . creating a resource to be shared over time.

Wealth is a tricky topic isn’t it, God. Money is pretty neutral. You can do a lot of good with it. Or you can buy bigger boats and diamonds. What is it that Confucius said? Putting out desire with possessions, is like putting out fire with straw.

You just can’t ever have ENOUGH of what doesn’t satisfy. Trying to quench a thirst with salt water! How sad that is. Tragic, really. And, I fall prey to it, too. A new computer? A larger megapixel camera? A nook that holds more books than I could EVER read? Techno lust. Sigh.

But You have designed us to work together. . . to feel GOOD about helping someone down on his luck . . . or whose world has been reduced to rubble. So, then WHY Haiti? Why Rwanda? . . . EVIL?

We are not just wrestling with flesh and blood but with Powers and Principalities! THIS REQUIRES PRAYER AND FASTING!

So, then, looking back up at that lovely old library, this isn’t just a rational world. We can’t simply think or educate our way out of messes. Although, we could be working harder on that. We also NEED to SEEK Your Help and seek it FERVENTLY! And, perhaps even more importantly, HUMBLY.

I hear You say — Change the We to I — as in I need to seek Your Help and SEEK IT FERVENTLY!

Yes, God. Yes.

Posted in accepting my need for help, Help me to see, Humility or Needing Help!, Uncategorized

Haiti on our Hearts

Posted on January 14, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Port-au-Prince, Hati -- before the earthquake

Inexpressible devastation — I have been in an earthquake, God. A 6.7 one only 9 miles from us. The FEAR that comes from being in an earthquake OVERFLOWS everyone’s cup. My mother still talks about one from her childhood that saw a local library slide into the ocean. And a family member who was over a 100 miles from Our Earthquake talked about it just as dramatically as we did.

I read somewhere that for every tenth of a point of the Richter scale the intensity doubles. DOUBLES. I want to put a question mark after that, but then again, it should be an explanation point! So, a 7.3 earthquake is SIX TIMES more powerful than the one I was in? Unimaginable.

But, to have an earthquake ON TOP OF unspeakable poverty? Or is it Your Way of getting our attention? And now that we have focused our attention on Haiti — what then? How to respond? How to help? Here is the World’s chance to “Grow Up”. As I have been writing, God, I could feel You increasing the rather small amount I was giving. I just went to Compassion and donated.

My heart is breaking, God. Where is the HOPE in Haiti? I know our hope is in YOU. But, it seems to me — even when I know we aren’t to be trying to make earth heaven — that Your command to care for our neighbors REQUIRES MORE OF US THAN WE ARE DOING!

Give money. Pray for HOPE. DO NOT WALK BY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

Yes, God. YES! But, I want MORE. I WANT A MARSHALL PLAN TYPE RESPONSE! And, yes, I will pray for that. (For the young people, the Marshall Plan was for the systematic rebuilding of 16 European countries after the devastation of World War II.) Well, God, help me become the Change I want to see. Help me to step back and get a better perspective on how I live! Maybe even a Vision of how I can live? And then map out the systemic / infrastructure support I need!

We are all poor. Some have no hope. Some have no purpose. Some have no money. Let us all share what we have been given.

Posted in a hand up, becoming the change I wish to see, systematic rebuilding required

Dining in the Dark

Posted on January 13, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Plumeria at the Kahala

There is something enchanting about going to a familiar place at an unfamiliar time. This is the Plumeria – a restaurant at the Kahala – a place that I love to go to for breakfast. Eating outdoors in the morning is a delight. I see the ocean, the flowers, the palms and the birds — and interesting visitors from far away places.

You know, God, I love being outside in the special light of January — more southern and not filtered through our glorious clouds. But, I found dining in the dark to have its own charm.
Perhaps because I do it so rarely?

Then again, walking around familiar grounds — but in the dark — seems to turn on a different internal application. It felt as if I were paying more attention — but that isn’t quite right. Hmmm. Maybe it was more that I was walking WITHOUT my WIDE VISUAL focus on. Not that I didn’t see things, I did. But I had to hunt for things to see. For example, I noticed that this tiki torch had a patterned ornamental holder — not the regular canister type.

tiki torch with patterned holders

And the stars were so much clearer, too. I could see the Pleiades right over head. . . and Orion’s Belt. The sky seemed closer.

Thank You, God, for chances to see the familiar from an unfamiliar perspective. I think I need more of that kind of seeing in my life, God.

Help me to see my life from Your perspective, God. To see myself as YOU see me.

Now, I do see as through a glass, darkly. But some day I shall know, even as I am known. I think that will be a bit of a shock.

Best I try now, here, to see myself as You See me. Seeing myself with Your Compassion — encouraging myself to get up and take another small step. Encouraging myself to see others, as You see them — with love, with appreciation, with interest.

Yes, God! Help me today to walk both in the Dark of Not Knowing — AND in the Light of What I Do Know. Ah, YES!

Posted in Help me to see, Light, Perspective, Uncategorized, walking at night

A Call to Bloom

Posted on January 12, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Flowers by the side of the road

Thank You, God, for the beauty of simple things. And thank You, too, for the joy of sharing. This is my AT HOME day but I had gone out briefly, and was leisurely driving home on a back road when I saw these flowers by the side of the road.

So lovely, with the early morning light shining through them. And, isn’t that what YOU want of us — that we let Your Light shine through us.

Hmmm. I suppose that means we are to be out in the Light? Not stuck away in some gloomy cave — brooding over the unfairness of life? Ah, You caught me! A definite whiff of a judgmental spirit there. Yes, appreciation of what is, can go hand in hand with a deep desire to reduce the brutality of so much of our world. You BLESS People and Groups who fight sexual slavery — inhumane working conditions — starvation — illiteracy — hunger — polluted water — all the conditions that keep our fellow humans from blooming.

ALL THE CONDITIONS THAT KEEP OUR FELLOW HUMANS FROM BLOOMING? That sentence has set off a churning deep inside me — bringing up a hint of tears — an angst too extensive for words. It is as if You have let me share a nanodrop of YOUR SORROW at all those things that keep us from blooming. And they are everywhere, aren’t they. A chorus teacher who tells an eager young girl DON’T SING! A discouraging word, even just a failure to notice . . .

Yet, YOU have the power and desire to restore us! You CAN and WILL take garbage and turn it into fertilizer! Take us and turn us into flowers!

You call to us LOOK! LOOK AROUND YOU! NOTICE PEOPLE! HEAR THEM! LOVE THEM! LOVE AND BLOOM!

Yes, YES! Help us to HOPE and to HEAR and to LOVE and to BLOOM. Please.

Posted in beauty, blooming, both / and, Help me to see, Hope as a gift from God, Light, Light shining through, simple joys of daily life

The Sea Turtle and me

Posted on January 11, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sea Turtle

There is something very special about inter species contact. You know, God, on Friday while I was swimming off of Sans Souci a turtle — just about this big — appeared almost underneath me. BIG SURPRISE! But after I had recovered I followed her — at a respectful distance — captivated. Fish are nice, but sea turtles are more like us. Is that why they are so fascinating?

I watched for several minutes and much to my surprise she came up to the surface to breathe seven or eight times. Most of the turtles I have followed seem to breathe maybe every two or three minutes. (I “checked” that on google and they can go much longer on a single breath.) Anyway, I had the feeling that the turtle had just “awakened” and was replenishing her air supply. Seeing her head lifting briefly out of the water was enchanting. . . and evocative.

It made me think about the ways I might be like a sea turtle. Is prayer time — or meditation time — the equivalent of a breath of air? Are we, like turtles in two worlds? AT LEAST TWO. Your Kingdom. Your Spirit the very Breath of Life — yet, we only dimly realize our need to breathe. Hmmm. I swim / snorkle in the shallows. Near Shore. I am not a scuba diver — out in the deep — with the creatures of the deep. And that pretty well describes my visits into Your Kingdom.

Am I satisfied with that? Gosh, God. I don’t even swim when the jelly fish are out — in that period after the full moon. Timid! I am TIMID. Well, scared is a more accurate word. And the chances of my going scuba diving are small. But, yes, I would like to venture further into Your Kingdom. Make that a LITTLE further. But, As You wish, God. As You wish.

Posted in breathing in Your Spirit, interspecies contact, Venturing out of the shallows?

What am I looking at?

Posted on January 10, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

20th Century version of a stained glass window

Good morning, Lord God! I’m still back on stained glass windows, I guess — as it occurred to me that the congregational church I’m in has put clear glass doors in the place of stained glass windows. Doors that look out on green grass and trees. Doors that welcome and are open to both people and the gentle weather of Hawaii.

What a change in focus! The stained glass images were designed (mostly) to help us focus on heavenly things — Jesus, Biblical figures, saints. These open window/doors focus on NOW — on Your Creation, to be sure — but it is accessible to us NOW.

Looking at a Rose Stained Glass Window is like looking into YOUR MYSTERY. There is a sense of the BEYONDNESS of Your Heavens, God. And at the same time there is a sort of invitation to enter into Your Realm. Hmmm. Isn’t that what the Greek Orthodox believers were trying to create in their icons? A doorway from our world — into YOUR HEAVENLY REALM.

Ah, God. The Feudal Age passed and we had printed books and literacy and capitalism and the Protestant Awareness that the Holy Spirit was given to ALL Believers. AND? And we began the process of creating Heaven here on Earth! Imagine — trains and factories; the telegraph and steamships; electricity and radio; TV and computers; iPods and the Internet. I suppose it is understandable that we might have come to believe what that Snake whispered to Eve — You Can Be AS Gods.

Only, of course, we can’t be, can we.

BUT . . . We CAN focus on You in Jesus. We CAN invite Your Holy Spirit in to reclaim and rebuild US. We CAN confess our shortfalls and mistakes and missed opportunities. We CAN consciously RENEW our side of our Connection with YOU. We CAN be about the business of Becoming New Creatures in Christ.

Come to think of it. That WOULD have a certain impact on our World, wouldn’t it?

Posted in Becoming as Gods?, New Creatures in Christ, Progress and our Change in Focus

Stained Glass and Our Hearts

Posted on January 9, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

stained glass

Another early morning, God, with the smell of coffee permeating the air. This image of stained glass came as part of an email yesterday and it brought back wonderful memories of the stained glass in my childhood as an Episcopalian . . . and of the stained glass in cathedrals.

Of course, stained glass depends upon Your Light pouring through it. I guess it is our attempt to replicate the beauty of light pouring through green leaves or the orange and red leaves of maples in the fall.

I had always wondered WHY the protestants (except for Episcopalians) did away with stained glass — until this morning when I realized IT WAS THE MONEY! It was rejecting WEALTH as necessary to WORSHIP. It was, I guess, part of a class war. A desire to reclaim THE PRIESTHOOD OF ALL BELIEVERS as opposed to an aristocracy of people superior by birth — and power/wealth.

Interesting how stained glass got thrown out with the church of the ruling class. Haves and Have Nots. You show a clear preference for the Have Nots, God. And, now, the ruined churches in France appear in my mind — torn stone from stone by angry Have Nots in the French Revolution.

Ahaaa, sigh. Now You are reminding me of how quickly and easily the Have Nots turn INTO The HAVES. It isn’t about money. It is about The Heart. Our HEARTS. Help us with our Hearts, O God!

Posted in beauty, Having the Heart of a Have Not?, Light, Light shining through, Uncategorized

Fountains of Living Water

Posted on January 8, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Fountain at Kapiolani Park

How beautiful is this, God! I love looking at the sunlight flowing through the water. I especially love it after I have been in both Your Sunshine and Your Water. The ocean is our birthplace, isn’t it. Where You began this amazing journey from single cells (and LESS) up to us.

UP to us, doesn’t feel quite right. As a person who was raised on Science Fiction, I keep hoping You have SUPERIOR SPECIES OUT THERE . . . watching? It is really scary to think WE might be the most advanced. And looking at how we are doing. . . ah my. All these gifts You have given us — like the love of beauty — get perverted and turned into a love of diamonds and rubies and gold and . . . power?

But, then I look back at the fountain. It seems to spend half its time being repaired or cleaned out. If we as individuals allowed ourselves even a few hours of being “UNDER REPAIR” or “DOWN FOR CLEANING” it would make an amazing difference.

And now I remember how after I retired a friend took me to a ten day silent retreat in Snowmass — with the monks and tapes of Father Keating. It was such a glorious time of cleansing. I dumped tons of resentments and anger and . . . yes, I guess hate, too! How I needed that repair and cleaning time!

You tell us that we are designed to have Fountains of Living Water flowing out of our innermost being. WOW! With Your HELP . . .AND You DO LONG TO FLOW THROUGH US! Oh, PLEASE help me set aside the necessary periods of cleaning . . . YOUR CLEANING! Thank YOU!

Posted in Rivers of Living Water